Rooftop reflections

Illusion of Gaia fanfiction

By Salia

Disclaimer: Illusion of Gaia is owned by Enix. Characters and story are used without permission, but in tribute, appreciation, and praise of the game. I make no claim to either the story or aforementioned characters.

'Was it worth it?'

It's one of those questions you have to ask yourself, torment yourself with even. Happens to everyone when they make big decisions, or so people tell me.

I'm not sure. I sit up here, looking into the sky some nights. Sometimes the moon is out, but I almost never see any stars. All the lights of the city around me turn the sky a kind of yellowish purple at night, washes everything out.

I remember before, when at night, after everyone had blown their lights out, sitting on the roof, just looking at them, and feeling the cool wind come off of the sea. Now, even though there's some winds, they're hardly the same. And no more stars.

Was it worth it? At first, I thought it was. Everyone back like they used to be, no monsters, ghosts, spirits...No more adventures. No more mysteries. No more wonders.

I gave humans back the world, but all the dreams seem to have left with the comet. Sure, before you had to worry about bad kings, monsters, and things like that. The moon tribe. Vampires... But it was more personal. Exciting in a way. Now though? ...now, humans make their own monsters, are their own worst danger. And the bad kings still are around. Maybe, back then, a village or two might get wiped out, but now...now someone gets angry and maybe every city, town, and village gets killed. Progress.

That spirit I talked to, the one that showed me all of this...I didn't believe him. Looking back, he sounded sad, a bit regretful when he told me what was going to happen. All I could think of then was that something wonderful was going to happen, the world changing to something new, and it would be a world for humans.

But it's not all bad, I suppose. People control their destiny now, humans going at their own pace instead of the hurried rush that the comet wanted.

But still, I miss it. The rush of being able to leap from high up, the wind blowing past me, then landing, only to climb back up to it again. Last time I tried I hurt my ankle for a week. I tried moving a chair the other day like I used to. It felt like pulling it through tar. Even the doors, the ones I used to open without thinking about it, they're getting harder and harder to open. And in dark space, there's nothing there for me anymore even when I manage to get there.

Maybe I'll think it was all a dream, eventually. Maybe I'll forget about Kara, about seeing the earth from on that comet, watching it slowly get larger, shining like a blue gem in the night.

Did I make the right choice? Was it worth it?

I just don't know any more.