This is a co-written work by Silvershadowfire and Cha Oseye Tempest Thrain. Thank you Brad S. for the maps.

For those of you are unfamiliar with Discworld, please remember to read the footnotes at the end (Sorry, we know it's not the easiest format for it, but…) please. It's worth it. Trust us. *smiles*

DISCLAIMER: We do not own ANY of these characters. All characters from YuGiOh belong to Kazuki Takahashi-sensei; all Discworld characters belong to the inestimable Terry Pratchett. And if either of these authors ever read this, please remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. We love you.

The insanity resulting from the mix of these characters is all ours, however. For any insanity in the characters themselves, please see above.

Note: We know that the Discworld natives would actually be speaking Morporkian (or Djellibabian, or Lancrastian, ect) but we wanted to give the YuGiOh cast a chance to understand them.


GameDiscs - Chapter 1

Motou Yugi and his friends stared down the latest miscreant after the power of the Millennium Puzzle. Behind the man - who identified himself as The Grey Hand - a group of faceless figures in plain grey robes had arrayed themselves to watch the duel. Of course, as soon as they appeared they had always been there.

"I have the greatest deck ever known to any duelist." the Grey Hand bragged. "No one can beat me! I am unstoppable!! I will take your Puzzle and your power!! You are nothing to me!!!!" [1]

Not waiting for the man to finish his ranting, Yugi called on the power of the Puzzle, transforming into the King of Games, Yami Yugi.

"To you, I am Death." Yami Yugi intoned. Perhaps not the best words to be spoken in a Shadow Game; however, given a conjunction of elements leading to a one-in-a-million chance, they were quite possibly the most eventful.

The Shadow Realm is a place where creatures of great power and danger live. For Yami Yugi, it was quite nearly a second home, and a source of his personal power; but in three thousand years he'd never seen anything like this.

A small hole opened in front of him, just a pinprick of light at first, which widened into a swirling vortex of light. Too late he felt himself get sucked into it.

Then everything went black.

********** *************

"It doesn't look like him." Archchancellor Ridicully reached forward with his staff, poking the thing that lay in the centre of the magic circle. It was the right colour - black - but the one they had been trying for was not known for leather and spikes.

Runes of every species marked the area around the thing, because if there's one thing wizards like more than big dribbly candles it's a magic circle with runes. And since the only thing wizards can agree on is that they disagree[2], there was be necessity every rune every wizard could think of, just in case somebody got upset. By nature, Ridicully disliked wizardly circles,[3] but it was generally agreed when attempting to summon what they were summoning, no precaution was too small.

"Maybe the egg wasn't quite fresh enough." Ponder Stibbons regretted the words as soon as he spoke. The very possibility that something could have gone wrong meant that what they had here was probably worse than what they'd been after in the first place. Though, most extremely dangerous things did not manifest themselves as small, spiky haired boys.

"I don't see why we couldn't have used the 2cc's of mouse blood. That one always gets Him." An extremely large (even by wizard standards) wizard stamped his foot and pouted, causing a minor tremor that threatened to knock some of the candles out of their perches on the wall.

"Because, Dean." Ridicully's voice carried every bit of patience he had, which was not to say much, "Every time we do, we get the other one. The short chap with the nose and the sharp teeth."

"Oh right. Him." This from the Senior Wrangler. This ritual always made him nervous, even when it worked. Especially when it worked, considering what it was supposed to do.

"Hmn." I wonder what it is then."


'Oh dear.' Yugi opened his eyes and didn't like what he saw. He was lying in a strange room lit by candles,[4] surrounding by a bunch of fat old men in beards who seemed to be in the midst of an intense argument. They all wore pointy hats and were dressed in - for lack of a better description - robes. These weren't the elegant white robes of Yami Yugi's Pharaohnic past, but rather looked as though they'd been dipped in glue, then set nearby an exploding glitter factory. That also manufactured feathers. Even Marik at his most insane didn't dress this garishly. Each also held a long staff with a knob on the end.

To make things even more bizarre, they seemed to be speaking a dialect of English, with an accent similar to Ryou's, but so quickly that the words sounded like nonsense.

"Um. Excuse me." he tried in slow English. This proved to be a mistake. Instantly a dozen faces turned his way, their expressions saying that if he twitched wrong he'd discover what a moth in a candle felt like.[5] Instinctively he gripped the Puzzle that still hung around his neck.


"It doesn't seem dangerous, Archchancellor."

"Polite, though."

"Hah!" The Dean exclaimed. "That's how they do things. Get you thinking that they're nice and polite and harmless, and then they make their play. Bang. You lose." Which was, had he but known it, a good description of Yugi's duelling style.

"A little bit skinny, don't you think?"

"Skinny? He's skin and bones, this one. Not just all bones."

"Voice is a little squeaky too. Certainly not what he sounds like."

"You don't think he's gotten himself another apprentice, do you? Someone to do fill-ins while he's on vacations?"

"Looks a bit young, though. Can't be much more than twelve, can he?"


Yugi missed most of the dialogue, but he caught the number at the end of the last sentence. He sighed. The problem with being short is that everyone thinks you're still a kid, the 16 year old thought gloomily. Would these people ever stop speaking long enough to let him get a word in edgewise?

"I think he's trying to speak." One of the only two skinny men in the room spoke, being ignored by all the fat men. Yugi turned to him, hoping maybe this person might be willing to listen.

The man pulled a book out from inside his robes and flipped through it, glancing up at Yugi every once in a while. Yugi tried his most harmless smile.

"Oh, Gods, you don't think it eats people, do you?" This phrase caused a mass panic among the fat men, who all attempted to back towards the door at the same moment, causing quite a large collision. That was enough for Yugi.

:Mou hitori no boku?: he called to Yami. No one answered, and he started to panic. :Yami? Can you hear me?:

Still nothing. He didn't feel the sort of wrenching loss that meant his yami was dead, but the feel of the link was…stretched. As though Yami was a long way away.

Suddenly he realized that the skinny man was addressing him in slow, clear English.

"Gomen, mo ichi do?" The Japanese escaped before Yugi could form the phrase in English.


"What did it say?"

"It sounded something like the speech of the Agetean Empire, Archchancellor."

"Really?" Ridicully blinked. Non-existent albatrosses he knew of but… "I didn't know they had their own version…do we know anyone who speaks Agetean?"

"I think the Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography does, Archchancellor."

"Jolly good. Run along and fetch him, will you?"

Cruel and Unusual Geography? These words were slow enough for Yugi to understand, as though the speaker were reluctant to mention them. What was he talking about? The only piece of Cruel and Unusual Geography he knew of was Giant Soldier of Stone. Surely that couldn't be it.[6]

A ruckus at the doorway caught Yugi's attention. A skinny man was literally being dragged across the floor towards the circle where Yugi sat. The man was tall and skinny, with a scraggly beard. He was dressed in tattered, worn red robes that moulted sequins as he moved. He resembled nothing so much as a moth-eaten flamingo in a room full of peacocks. A very nervous moth-eaten flamingo upon whose head perched a flimsy pointy hat with the word 'Wizzard'[7] written on it in silver sequins.

Evidently this was supposed to be a translator, for after a quick consultation with the newcomer, he turned to look at Yugi.

"Hello." he said in heavy, oddly accented Japanese as if the speaker was more familiar with some strange offshoot of Mandarin.

"Hi!" Yugi waved his hand and nearly the entire company of old men jumped backwards, leaving the evident leader of the men, the translator and the skinny one with the book alone by the circle.

"He's gesturing! He's going to cast a spell!" As one the other men fled from the room.

"I'm Rincewind." the translator introduced himself. "This is the Archchancellor Ridicully of the Unseen University. We are wizards."

"What are you?"

"My name is Motou Yugi." Rising slowly, he bowed.

Ridicully looked over at Rincewind, an expression of sudden insight crossing his features. "You don't suppose it could be a student, do you? I've heard we have a few running around the place. This is a university, after all."

"He's not wearing a student's robe, Archchancellor."

"They do dress in strange fashions, you know." Ridicully tended to hang onto an idea once he grabbed hold of it, rather like a limpet. Men had gone mad trying to drag them away from him.

Yugi tried his best to follow the conversation, but was distracted when the pack of strange old men (wizards?) ran back into the room, followed by a skinny man and a large trunk moving on hundreds of little legs.

Finally something familiar in this strange place. Yugi focused on the ambulatory luggage - he was almost sure it was one of the Duelmonsters. The wizards (again excepting the two still by the circle and the skinny one who'd just wandered in) were all attempting to fit in one corner of the room, or in the rafters in some cases. Impossibly, the fattest of them balanced on a tiny wooden shelf in a small space right next to the ceiling.

The skinny man strolled up to the circle, moving with a strange, rolling gait. He wore what could have been a menacing scowl -- were it not on the face of one of the most obviously harmless people in the multiverse -- squinting at Yugi as he stalked forward.

"You new here in town, stranger?" The drawl, too, seemed a little strange, coming as it did from such a skinny, frail, old man.

I didn't know they made Spaghetti Westerns in England. Thought Yugi. Provided, of course, that he actually was in England, as opposed to America (but that didn't work either, so far nobody had pointed a gun at him). It couldn't be Canada - the people here weren't strange enough.

"There ain't room in this town for the both of us," the old man continued.

Yugi was about to take the opportunity to ask precisely which town he was in when Archchancellor stepped in.

"Come on, Bursar." He gently dragged the newest man away from the circle, much to Yugi's relief. He addressed the group at large. "Will someone please take the Bursar away for some dried frog and a lie down? He's definitely channelling again."

There was a rush of volunteers to do so, and presumably escape.

"I wonder what he meant by that," Ridicully asked no one in particular, "This town is big enough for trolls, humans, dwarves, gnolls, golems, gnomes, vampires, werewolves…"

"Um, I don't think that was what he meant, Archchancellor." The one with the book (who hadn't yet been introduced, but still split his time between the book and Yugi). "I think…"

"I mean, how could it not be big enough for a wizard and a demon?" Ridicully paused for a moment, "Especially the Bursar and this one. Surely they can't take up that much room…"[8]

Ponder sighed. Nothing in the book mentioned a polite demon that manifested itself as a small boy, no matter how bizarrely dressed, which was frustrating in the extreme. Despite all his experience to the contrary, Ponder still believed that the answers to the universe can be found either with experimentation or in a book.[9]

The boy-shaped creature was communicating with Rincewind, at least. Ponder walked over to join the other two wizards. Now that there seemed to be no immediate danger, he had a few questions of his own.

"Has it told you anything?" Ponder asked Rincewind.

"He says his names Motou Yugi, from someplace called 'Japan.'

Ponder hurriedly pulled another book out of his robes and leafed frantically through it. "There appears to be no such place on the Disc, Archchancellor."

"Could it be somewhere in Fourecks?"

"Nope." Rincewind shook his head. If there was one thing he knew intimately, it was the Last Continent. He remembered a lot of dust, and sheep[10] but no place called Japan.

The boy-demon babbled something else in his language.

"He wants to know if we have something called 'Yami.'"

"Isn't that a kind of root vegetable?" Ridicully tapped his staff against the floor. "Perhaps it's hungry." He walked to the door and grabbed a passer-by. "Tell the kitchen to bring down some yams, will you?"

"Ook?" The passerby in this case happened to be the Librarian, who thanks to a magical accident was a large orangutan. He had since resisted all attempts to change him back.

"I don't care if its inconvenient, old chap. I need yams."

The Librarian sighed as he ambled off. He had no idea what the Archchancellor wanted yams for, but he hoped it was something painful.

Yugi wanted to sit the middle of the circle and cry. He was trapped with a bunch of insane people in the middle of a crazy place and his Yami was no where to be found.

And what had happened to everyone else?



[1] Four exclamation marks. Definitely a sign of an unstable mind.

[2] Of course, if you said that to the wizards, they would tell you that wasn't the case at all.

[3] Unfortunately, due to his position as Archchancellor of the Unseen University, he was forced to travel in them extensively.

[4] Dribbly.

[5] Dribbly or not.

[6] No it wasn't. Of the trolls, only Chrysoprase was renowned for his unusual cruelty. And no one dared refer to him as a mere 'soldier'.

[7] Spelling on the Disc tended to be very individualistic.

[8] Ridicully had serious problems letting go of ideas once he'd grasped them.

[9] This is a delusion shared by many people who spend too much time in institutes of higher learning.

[10] And spiders.