The Shameless Bad Fic
(okay, the Spectacularly Entertaining Ficlet – so ordered by aliciamasters - giggles )
"Daddy," Arthur said softly as Harry ran up the stairs leading to the Gryffindor common room. "Your face is all….pink."
"Very observant of you," Harry growled.
Arthur looked at him uncertainly. "Are you mad at me, Daddy?"
Looking at those big green eyes, so very much like his own… Harry pretty much melted. So he knew he'd tried that wide-eyed innocent look on occasion; it was just disconcerting to see it on a miniature version of Snape.
Snape. Oh yeah. Arthur's Papa. Or so he claimed. Except that the kid had Harry's eyes and the last time Harry checked, he definitely didn't have a working honest-to-God womb. He didn't know about Snape though – although the mental image of a pregnant Snape was not as hilariously ludicrous as it seemed at first glance.
Actually, it seemed like a very attractive prospect. Harry mentally smacked down that thought, wrestled it into submission and shoved it into a very deep dark part of his mind. He was still a student; Snape was still his teacher. For all the new-found respect and tentative friendship that they'd forged over the course of the war with Voldemort, Harry knew that romance with one Harry Potter was the furthest thing from Snape's mind. So that nice little dream of settling down with Severus Snape with two? three? children was Not. Likely. To. Happen.
And yet, here was this little boy from the future, who definitely looked very much like Harry and Snape's son, looking at him with Harry's Patented Innocent Look. The combination was devastating – Harry bet anything that his future self had to really work at it to keep from spoiling the little boy rotten.
God help him.
Harry sighed. "No, I'm not mad at you. I'm just… " Feeling as if he'd been hit in the back of the head by a board? Embarrassed enough to want the earth to open up and swallow him?
Arthur wrinkled his nose. "You just look the same way you do whenever Papa's been kissing you. Ew."
Now THAT particular mental image was enough to make Harry stop in the middle of the stairs and clutch at the railing because he was going weak at the knees. "Kissing…er….WHAT?!" Oh, that was coherent, it really was.
Arthur sighed. "You ALWAYS turn pink when Papa's been kissing you."
Harry gently leaned his head against Arthur's little shoulder. "Bloody hell."
"Don't worry," Arthur said, patting his future father's head. "You'll get to the kissing parts… eventually."
Fortunately, Daddy wasn't too pink by the time they entered the Gryffindor common room. Arthur's sisters Katerina and Waverly always giggled when they saw Daddy turn that color, saying that it was cute. Arthur sympathized with his poor father and often asked Papa why he found it necessary to do that to Daddy. Papa mumbled something incoherent in his teacup, although Arthur clearly heard the word "adorable" and definitely spotted the faint blush coloring Papa's cheeks.
Parents. Who could understand them? Arthur thought to himself.
Daddy, no, Harry had asked Arthur to call him by his first name for the time being. It was a little weird because Daddy had never been anything but Daddy to Arthur but he understood why. Bad enough that Arthur nearly gave the game away to Papa.
Arthur had a feeling that Papa wasn't going to take this whole thing as well as Daddy - er, Harry was taking it now.
Everyone in the room stared when Harry walked in with Arthur in tow. Arthur had wanted to run up the last few steps and say the password to the Fat Lady's portrait, which amused her to no end. Besides, Harry was already getting tired from carrying Arthur around.
Arthur had slipped his hand in Harry's and they entered the common room together. Arthur didn't appreciate the staring and though he wanted Harry to pick him up again, he decided to have it out and glared at the rest of the Gryffindors.
Hey, he really needed that nap.
Harry led him to a quieter, more secluded corner of the room and that was when Arthur was startled by this exclamation:
"Bloody hell, who is that? The spawn of Snape?!"
Arthur scowled. Well, it just HAD to be Uncle Ron, after all. The little boy stole a peek up at his father's face.
Uh-oh. Harry looked very much the way he looked every time Uncle Draco and Aunt Ginny came to visit. Like he wanted to hex someone silly. That someone would be Uncle Draco because Harry liked Aunt Ginny, who he said was a "bloody good influence on the annoying little ferret."
Right now, it looked like Uncle Ron would be on the receiving end of that hex, though.
"Ron," said Arthur's future Aunt Hermione reprovingly. She bent down to Arthur's level and smiled at him encouragingly. "Hullo there. What's your name?"
Arthur smiled shyly at her and clung to Harry's leg. "I'm Arthur."
"And he's not," Harry said dryly, "the spawn of Snape."
"He's got your eyes though, mate," Uncle Ron said cheerfully. "He could be your kid as well as Snape's."
"Oh, honestly!" Aunt Hermione said, clearly exasperated. "You're being such a prat!"
Daddy – (Harry, Arthur repeated mentally, Harry!) - gritted his teeth and led Arthur over to the nearest couch where they settled comfortably. Arthur cuddled automatically next to Harry and yawned. He really was sleepy and even now, Daddy made an excellent pillow. The fact that Harry had automatically placed an arm around him made him feel even more comfortable.
"Aww... " Aunt Hermione said. "He looks like he needs a nap."
"M'cranky if I don't get one," Arthur murmured.
"Go to sleep, then," Harry told him.
"And he really seems to like you," Uncle Ron remarked.
"We hit it off first thing," Harry said wryly. "Anyway, he's one of the Headmaster's grandchildren. Dumbledore asked me to keep an eye on him for a while. So - " Harry spread his hands. " - he's not my lovechild with Professor Snape."
Arthur tried not to giggle.
"Who's your lovechild with Professor Snape?" Aunt Ginny bounced in and took a peek at Arthur. "Aww... is this him? He's so cute!" She waggled a finger at Harry. "How'd you keep this little cutie hidden from the rest of us all this time?"
"He's not our lovechild!" Harry moaned.
"Those eyes? That nose? Could we miss it?" Aunt Ginny reached out and gently tapped that nose with a finger. She giggled when Arthur wrinkled his nose and scowled. "Look at that scowl. It's the patented Snape Death Glare!"
"Ginny, stop teasing him," Aunt Hermione protested. And then, she grinned. "Although, I do have to agree. "
Harry had buried his face in his hands. "He's Professor Dumbledore's grandson. Honestly!"
Aunt Ginny's grin was wicked. "Aw, come on, Harry..." She lowered her voice and continued, "It's not as if spawning with Professor Snape isn't your dearest wish!"
Uncle Ron choked and turned this interesting shade of green. "Ginny!"
"How could I forget? Harry told us all about it while we were watching Sense and Sensibility and swooning over Alan Rickman's Colonel Brandon," She placed a hand over her forehead and pretended to faint away. "That date and that movie are forever etched in my memory."
"Oh God," Harry choked.
"I'm cool with the whole Harry is gay thing but mate, about this Snape business... honestly, you have weird taste in men!" Uncle Ron said with a shudder.
"He does not!" Aunt Ginny told him heatedly.
"You're the one with the thing for Malfoy. Ew."
Aunt Ginny blushed and glared. "Don't make me hex you, brother dearest."
Aunt Hermione rolled her eyes. "Settle down, children or I might send you up to bed without dinner."
"Thank you, Hermione," said Harry in relief. "Have I ever told you how much I love you lately?"
"Oi, mate, no stealing the girlfriend!" Uncle Ron protested.
"Hmmm, now THAT does seem like an interesting prospect," Aunt Hermione murmured. "How about it, Harry? Feel like going straight for me?"
"HERMIONE!" Ron howled.
Arthur gave way to the giggles then and so did Aunt Hermione.
"Well, quit it with the Snape's lovechild thing then," Harry retorted over their giggles. "Anyway, it's not as if either of us could get pregnant!"
There was a pause.
A very significant pause.
In which Uncle Ron, Aunt Hermione and Aunt Ginny all exchanged looks. Arthur noted that adults usually did that, not that he always understood what was going on, but he had never missed those very significant glances.
"Er...guys?" Harry cleared his throat. "You lot are beginning to make me nervous."
"Harry," Aunt Hermione said then. "Didn't you know that there are rare cases where wizards can get pregnant?"
Now Arthur was feeling really sleepy and perhaps he couldn't be held responsible for what happened next. "You had Katerina first, Daddy," he mumbled sleepily. "And then Papa had Waverly and then you had me."
And then, he finally succumbed to sleep and murmured, "Love you, Daddy."
Arthur was out for the count, completely oblivious to the loud exchange that followed while he slept.
A/N: Oh dear. The non-existent plot thickens. We're in trouble now! Heh. Again, much thanks and love to Frances for the beta. You might want to refer to the Points of View story (if you haven't already) to find out about what Ginny means with the Sense and Sensibility crack. That tale would be in my profile. Heh.