Title: Summers' Sister and Snyder's Shins
Disclaimer: Alas, Dawn, Buffy, Joyce, and all other characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. *sigh* Sadly, so do Snyder's shins. (Oh yeah, and the rest of him, too.)
Spoilers/Timeline: Season…ehh…early season three, brief spoilers of the events of Graduation Day, Part Two.
Summary: Dawn meets Snyder. She doesn't like him. This is not good for Snyder (or his shins).
Author's Notes: This is based on a request from gidgetgirl.
.:Thanks for the extra reviews, BTW, I agree with you about my stories and their [lack of] reviews. Case in point: Your crossover with the BSC, The Call. (Which I read and reviewed, BTW.) You've had it up for, oh, twenty-four hours and you've got 24 reviews! I've had a story—Sands of Time—up for more than a month, and all I've got is (are?) 29. People are so cruel. (To me, not you.) Oh well. = ) :.
But instead of Dawn meeting Snyder at Parent-Teacher Night, she meets him in season three.Summer's Sister and Snyder's Shins Dawn yanked open the front doors of Sunnydale High and stomped angrily down the hallway toward the library. She was supposed to meet Buffy and the gang there. "Whoa, Missy, where do you think you're going?" Dawn turned around at the sound of Snyder's voice. She had very little patience, especially for Rat-Man. She'd never met him before, but she'd seen his picture in the paper, tacked onto articles about students on PCP. "Mr. Snyder!" she said through her teeth. "What a…pleasant…surprise." "If you're walking in my school, you will respect me." Snyder glared. "Where are you going?" "Library." "Why?" "I want something to read." It was a lie and he knew it.
"Why use this library?"
Dawn gave him a look of dry indifference. "Books live there."
Snyder glowered at her. "What is your name?"
Oh, how lovely, Snyder thought. Summers' sister is a troublemaker, too. It must run in the family. Sometimes I wonder…if vampires killed them off, they'd be out of the gene pool… Snyder chastised himself. As much as he disliked the entire Summers family, he wouldn't wish death upon them. No, he was better than that. But only slightly. I'd settle for boils. Boils and blinding torment. "Buffy's sister?"
Dawn nodded. "My sister doesn't like you," she informed Snyder, giving him her best innocent look. She looked younger than twelve, and maybe she could feign naivety and get away with insulting him.
"How unfortunate," Snyder said dryly. "I don't like her either."
"That's mean, Mr. Rat-Man."
"I suggest you clean up your act, and while you're at it, have your sister do the same."
"Don't bring my sister into this!"
Snyder gave her a look. "You brought her up first."
"Nuh-uh, you did. You said 'Buffy Summers' sister'."
Snyder paused. He was loath to admit it, but the younger Summers had a point. Not that it mattered.
"Your sister is trouble. If you are, too, I'll have to ask you to leave."
Dawn fixed him with such a cool, even stare that Snyder felt a little insecure, just for a second. "I haven't done anything wrong. You'd be violating my rights."
Snyder scoffed. "Like you know your Constitutional rights."
"I wish you'd use the fifth one," Dawn retorted, smiling at her own wit.
"One more smart remark—"
"And what? You'll call my mom? You know she hates you, too. And you can't take it out on Buffy. We'd sue."
As much as he didn't like to think about it, he knew the little brat was right.
"I will call the police," he informed her. "You could be the second Summers with a record. Unless you have one already, that is."
"For a stupid person, my job pays rather well."
"You told my sister she should work at Hot Dog On A Stick."
"You are…" Dawn searched for the right words to describe just how much she hated this man. "You're…" Finally, lacking the proper verbal response, she looked Snyder square in the eye. He was about the same height she was, so this wasn't hard. "…about to be in pain," she finished, and gave him a good hard kick in the shins before taking off at a speed to rival even the Roadrunner. Snyder would not have been surprised to hear the trademark "Beep beep" as she sped off, but he was too busy trying not to fall over from the pain in his legs. He limped off toward the nurse's office for an ice pack, hoping she hadn't left for the day.
* * *
"So, what did you girls do today?" Joyce asked over dinner.
"Slayer stuff," Buffy said. "You?"
"Gallery stuff," Joyce smiled. "What about you, Dawnie?"
Dawn looked up from her tuna casserole and declared, "I kicked Mr. Snyder in the shins."
There was silence all around the table.
"Are you serious?" Buffy finally asked.
Buffy stood up, walked over to Dawn, and hugged her hard. "God, I love you."
Joyce was trying not to laugh. "Dawn…that wasn't…very nice…you should…know better…violence isn't…" she gave up and collapsed into a fit of laughter.
"What worries me," Joyce said, wiping tears from her face, "is what you'll do once you have to go to high school."
Buffy nodded. "He can make your life pretty miserable. That is, if he doesn't go the way of Principal Flutie first."
"What?" Dawn asked. "All that 'we are your friends' stuff?"
"No," Buffy clarified. "I meant if he doesn't get eaten."
Chances of this seemed fairly unlikely. Maybe it's not to late to become super pious, Dawn thought, so I could enroll in a private school. Or possibly a convent.
* * *
A few months later, the news came via Buffy. As disturbing and somewhat tragic Snyder's…death and digestion…was, Dawn breathed a sigh of relief when she heard about it.
That's one less problem to deal with.
For those of you who have forgotten, or just don't have any regard for the law, the Fifth Amendment gives you the right to remain silent. [Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.]