Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop, nor am I affiliated with the owners or family members of whom I speak. I did not twist anyone's arm, and I am not involved in any conspiracy to take over the show. Also, the plot to make Edward the main character was rejected, therefore, I am humbly writing a story from my own mind.

Finally, Spike, Faye, Jet, Ein and Edward and the stars of BIG SHOT aren't mine. Any other person that shows up in this story though, belongs to me. That is all, (nobody reads this part anyway)

The Edward Chronicles : Session one: Edward Electronica

Chapter 1

"Ed Did It"

The dull roar of cold air, a somewhat silent sound if you can believe that, was the only thing to be heard outside the old amber-brown spaceship floating above the satellite Ganymede. It was a beautiful piece of work, in excellent condition, and quite reliable. Just by looking at it, you wouldn't be able to tell it had once been an old fishing ship that had been completely overhauled.

The man who had done this, Jet Black, shared a common trait with his hopeful and successful "project". Just by looking at him, one may be intimidated or even scared, he was tall with receding black hair, dark eyes, an ever-present scowl, and a cybernetic arm. A piece of work himself, no one would guess that he was a kind-hearted man whose best interest was in helping out anyone if he could. Even if it meant passing up a 60,000,000 wulong reward (and he had done this more than once).

Yet, though he was more than willing to lend a hand, (be it mecha or real) he had a very small tolerance for stupidity, and he was witnessing it at the moment.

Those who were paying attention before, may recall that outside the Bebop was utter silence, while inside it was anything but. Our poor friend Jet actually thought he was witnessing WWIII, or at least something just as destructive.

"Edward, just give it back!" an angry female voice ordered, even though wailed is a better word, because Jet could have sworn it would crack the windows at the octave it sometimes reached.

A gangly red headed child was seen loping on all fours down one of the Bebop's dimly lit hallways, in "it's" mouth, tightly clenched between sharp white teeth, was Faye Valentine's cash card.

"Come on, I still have a little money left on that one," whined the violet-haired young women, catching up to the child. She was an attractive looking women, with beautiful emerald green eyes, and a figure that many men desired. Yet like every rose, she had her thorns. Actually, Faye had a lot of thorns. She was obnoxious, loud, rude, and definitely not modest, which one could tell by the outfit she often wore, A bright yellow, two-piece short suit that did not cover much at all, complementing this little ensemble was a dark red jacket that was always wrapped around the girl's waist.

But Faye did have a few good qualities (very few) she was independent, as well as intelligent, and could be unnoticed when she needed to be, a good trait to have in order to elude her debt collectors. Another thing Faye had was a lot of debt collectors.

The child turned around and bared it's teeth at Faye, letting out a nasty snarl. Faye, taken aback, stumbled backwards, tripping on a misplaced Welsh Corgi who yelped in surprise, and then watched his offender fall to the ground.

Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky VI was an odd child. Though being mistaken for a boy many times for her short red hair and skinny frame, and for her name which she had given herself, she was indeed A GIRL. Granted the fact she was a very energetic girl, and a very strange one as well, she was a genius. No software or man-made computer system had ever withstood the skill of Edward. She always was seen wearing the same loose white shirt and black shorts, with a pair of green goggles either hanging around her neck or shading her brilliant amber cat-eyes from the light of the real world. She had built her own computer out of spare parts, it's name was Tomato.

"Ha Ha! The Ed and Ein tag team is victorious again! We have won! We have wooooooooon!"

The strange red-head chanted in a sing-song voice.

No, she wasn't anywhere near normal, and she frequently walked that fine line between brilliance and insanity, but she was a key piece to the Bebop puzzle, and after all, insanity is a form of intelligence.

Faye brushed the hair off her face that had fallen in her eyes, "You honestly don't expect me to believe you planned that, do you?"

Ed stood up straight on two legs and performed a very formal bow. "We are but here to make Faye Faye happy, in doing so, the turn-tables of Ed's life will revolve into not nothing, it will be there for we have served." She then straightened up again and smiled. "Is Faye Faye happy?"

Faye Faye was confused. "What exactly are you saying? That was weird even for you, Edward."

Ed just smiled again, and puffed up her chest, "Edward is feeling pooooo-etic tooooo-day. And Edward thinks, as well as Yap Yap Ein."-Ein actually yapped at this, as he did at strategic points in his furry life that made the Bebop crew believe he actually understood Ed- " that Faye Faye will not catch us before she gets a black eye."

Faye face slowing turned red as what Ed had said finally clicked into her mind. "You little! I'm gonna rip that red pointy head off!"

" Spike person told me it was true, don't hurt yourself. " Edward replied mischievously.

"Aaaaaaaaa!" Faye roared and lunged after Edward again. The wiry child simply tore down the rest of the hallway with the TV area in her sights, and the corgi obediently at her heels.

Next enters the noble Spike Spiegel of the Bebop crew. The young man was tall and lanky, with mismatched brown eyes, a dark blue suit and yellow shirt and tie (it sounds professional but was usually wrinkled from Mr. Spiegel's constant naps) as well as the dark green hair that sprung in every direction on his thin, framed face. He was also a very learned follower of the art of Jeet kune do (a difficult fighting style), as well as being an excellent pilot and a great shot. Though at times, his indifferent and uncaring attitude about what happened around him tended to push people awaaay. But only in the case of purple-haired crow freaks wielding a samurai sword and hot little blonds who broke the hearts of nice and polite green-haired men.

Spike is actually not entering now, he is taking a nap on the couch where directly behind him, an eccentric adolescent hacker, a short and fuzzy welsh Corgi, and angry Faye Valentine come bounding forward.

Edward reached the point where she was three feet from ramming the back of the couch at hacker speed, when the idea of vaulting came to her mind. Her gangly legs at that moment sprung with an exhilarated speed into the air, where she had planned to clear the couch completely, but then changed her course to Spike's gut.

Poor Spike Spiegel.

With perfect accuracy her target was met. Waking from his drowse, Spike was jerked into a rude consciousness as a very sick noise escaped his lips and he could have sworn three ribs broke. Fortunately Ed's light body had only winded him.

"Ha Haa! Edward has struck again! And what luck, first in line."

"Ed! What the hell are you doing?!" a very pissed Spike gasped, hugging his stomach.

"First in line for what?"

"You shall look and see, YeeHah!" Ed yelled, waving her arms in the air.


Ein landed on Spike's head in his attempt to follow his wry partner over the couch, he felt the sharp little claws rip across his cheek and yowled in pain. So Ed wasn't great, and Ein was really bad, but Faye was far worse.

Though she tried to clear the slightly disgruntled and groggy obstacle, her white, high-heeled boot caught on the chair's back. There was no graceful glide over the couch, there wasn't even a slightly degrading, yet gentle, tumble. There was pain, lots and lots of pain. And it was all delivered to everyone's favorite cowboy.

One of Faye's legs had made it over, but since the other had not, the heel of her boot dug directly into the already ruined stomach muscles. Her body sunk down, pinning Spike's legs in a painful angle of jolting appendages , and her hands flailed wildly, slapping Spike in the face several times before all her weight finally crashed down on top of him.

Everything went silent for a moment, Ed was holding her breath, she knew she had gone too far this time, and even Ein seemed to be hesitant to pant or risk inhaling gently.

"Faye. Maybe you would like to GET OFF OF ME!" Spike roared, using his legs to kick her (not gently) unto the floor.

"Hey!" Faye yelled back. "What was that for? It wasn't my fault. Ok? Blame Edward if anyone!"

"Oh, I see," said Spike sarcastically, "It was Edward's fault you were magically lifted into the air only to be forced into crushing me under your stupid, fat, ass!"


Faye was fuming, and there was a giant red hand imprint on the long-legged cowboy's cheek.

"Don't you know better than to call a lady fat!? I could kill you for that!"

"You know that would bother me, the fact that I insulted a lady and all, had there been a lady here to begin with!" said Spike rubbing his stinging face.

"Listen you pompous-

"ENOUGH!" Jet finally interjected, "I know you two have your disagreements, but I am sick of it. I don't want any more of this on my ship!"

Edward, from her cowering place in the corner, whispered, "Jet person is mad, and everyone is yelling Ein, Did Ed really do that?" Ein only whimpered and laid on the floor, resting his head on his paws.

"Ok," Jet started, rubbing the back of his neck and breathing deeply in his attempt to calm down. "I don't want to point any fingers, that's not why I'm here, why don't you both just sit down and tell me what happened."

"I don't appreciate being treated like a child, Jet." Spike grumbled.

"Then maybe you should stop acting like one," Jet shot back, "Now either shut up or tell me why everyone on this side of the ship started screaming a minute ago."

Spike sat down on the couch, while Faye leaned on the back of it. When Jet asked that question they both looked at each other.

"Ed did it."

They said in unison, then turned their noses at each other.

Jet looked toward the corner he had seen Ed skulk to, and saw her sitting on the floor cross-legged, absent-mindedly patting Ein and watching the fight taking place before her.

"Edward, come here."

"Aiya." Ed whispered and stood up, preparing to face the wrath of Jet.

A/N: That's all for now, if I get at least three reviews, then you guys can find out what happens. I hope you want to know. If I don't, then you guys can still figure out what happens, it's just that three reviews would make me pretty happy. That is all. Hope you like it!