Chapter 11: Miss You…

Rikku. I couldn't wait to get back to her and tell her how I felt. My heart pounded thinking about being with her and when we would share our first kiss; thinking about how we would spend the rest of our lives together.

I can't wait any longer…

"RIKKU!" I pounded on Darren's door.

No response.

"RIKKU!"

"Go away she doesn't want to see you." He replied on the other side.

What the hell was he doing with her? I just wanted her back. My heart fluttered with impatience, I needed to speak with her NOW.

Growing impatient with Darren, I kicked open the door to see Rikku lying flimsy in his arms.

For the first time in a while, I was terrified.

"What the fuck---Rik--?!? What did you do to her?!?" I grabbed him and slammed him against the wall, Rikku just sitting there silent.

"Hey hey… I was just having some fun…" He replied as I noticed her normal clothes on the floor.

"You… you used her as a sex toy???" I said in disgust. This was sick… how could he do this to poor Rikku.

"Not really… haven't really done anything yet…" he smirked.

At the same time I was furious and relieved. If Paine hadn't talked to me I'd probably be too late.

I heard a slight thump and quickly adverted my attention to Rikku. She had been left sitting up and fell down faintly onto the floor like a flimsy doll, without the support of Darren's body to lean against.

"Rikku?!?!" I went over and held her in my arms. She grasped onto me tightly looking up at me with blank, but sorrowful eyes.

I just stared in horror…what did he do to her… what did he do…

"You fucking bastard…"

"She's delicious… gorgeous girl isn't she?" he replied.

Every word that just came out of his mouth disgusted me. I wanted to slaughter him and rip him to pieces, and I intend to do so.

I picked up my gun and fired a few shots but he already started running as I was taking my gun out.

I ran after him. I'd rather kill him than have him escape with the possibility of coming back and hurting Rikku.

"Son of a bitch…" I mumbled. He was gone, I'll have to deal with him later but right now I needed to help Rikku.

"Rikku baby, please… please speak to me…"

Oh Fayth, what a mess… just looking at her emotionless eyes and spiritless body made me miserable. Where is my overly cute and bouncy girl? I can't believe I let this happen to her…this was all my fault. I shouldn't have said the things I said… I shouldn't have gotten drunk… I shouldn't have hired Darren… I should have stayed and been there for you, Rikku.

Too perfect. Every guy wanted her... but I needed to make sure she couldn't have me... I needed to be better than every guy first. I didn't want to be like every guy…I wanted to be just the one for her.

I loved you but I tried to ignore my feelings. I hurt you, the one I love most because I couldn't accept the fact that… well that you're perfect in every way. In my eyes is a beautiful and cheerful girl, who was always there for me even when I teased you and even made you cry. You even helped defeat sin, Vegnagun--- people loved you, I loved you… and I love you now…always. I'm sorry. I don't deserve you… I don't deserve your love. I'm sorry you suffered because I was weak. I couldn't stand the fact that… you were better than me. I felt that you could never love me. You could have gotten any guy you wanted but me; sure I know I'm good looking and I had to flaunt that all the time. I NEEDED to—to find ways to make me feel more deserving of you and to make myself look better. But I was a fool. I was weak…. instead of defending you all I could do is make myself look good. … But I can't do this to you anymore. I'll be strong, for you.

She sat up and clung to me. I began to feel feverish… I haven't been THIS close to Rikku.

As I held her close to my body she grasped me tightly, not letting go--- like she depended on me. I felt warm inside… I liked the feeling… that I meant something to her. But this wasn't Rikku… she wasn't conscious. She had no emotion in her eyes… all I could feel was pure sorrow when I looked into them, not knowing how Rikku was going to come back, or knowing where her conscious state had gone. Oh fayth… where are you Rikku? Where are you?

I sighed. Enjoying the moment of her sleeping in my arms… I could never live without her… every time I am with her, when I don't feel the need to tease her and hide my feelings… all these emotions pour out of me.

She looks so beautiful… this feeling… holding her in my arms and I just can't resist ... she's sleeping in my arms, and listening to her breathe and looking at her adorable face makes it so hard to keep myself from kissing her. Or when I am playful with her and play little tricks on her and tease her… she gives me the cutest "angry" stare and I just want to hug her and kiss her on her lips tenderly. Sometimes—like right now—when she's close to me, I'll get this feeling that's like a magnetic pull that attracts me to her and makes me want to do things that I'll regret…

Damnit Gippal… damnit… I can't believe I'm thinking about this right now… I'm such a horrible friend.

I felt so much sorrow and pity at the same time of this bliss. I didn't know what to do… I didn't know how to get Rikku back. But I wouldn't give up… I would never give up. Never give up on Rikku. She was going to come back to me, she has to…

I'll make you smile again… I promise you.

I'll find a way… I promise you.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Yaaayyy I updated xD… hope you enjoyed this chapter, I haven't updated this story in sooooooooo long so I might be a bit rusty -.-;

Again thanks EVERYONE for all the wonderful reviews/obnoxious comments (some of you) xD; Hehe…