Butterfly Shaped Onigiri

by Mel

Notes: This is just the cute little scenerio that runs rampid in my head whenever I listen to the song "Butterfly" by Smile DK. I can't HELP it! Can't you SEE that?! geh... you don't even wanna know what goes through my head when I hear "Boys". v.v;; ::smacks self:: So yeah. I couldn't see it as a songfic, but I had to mention why the hell everything is going on. X3

Oh. Kyoru, sort of. No actual hooking up.. just.. being damn cute, like in the later chapters of the manga. God I want to smother that boy. ::sigh:: In a good way. On with the utterly revolting mushy mush!

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Tohru didn't know why, but as the evening grew darker and the rest of the household had retired to their respective nighttime routines and activities, she found herself on the roof, alone, staring at the sky and thinking to herself. She had no reason to be up on the roof, besides to look up at the pretty stars and enjoy the cool night air, which felt wonderful compared to the earlier dry heat they'd had. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs loosely, content to just sit and be happy for no real reason than good spirits.

It had been a really good day. It was the weekend, so they didn't have to go to school. Kyo and Yuki hadn't even really argued, let alone fought! And there wasn't any strange tension between the two either, like at the lake. They'd just lazed around the house for the most part. Kyo spent most of the day either reading on the roof or napping on the front porch, and Yuki had done some homework and watched TV. The few times they'd spoken to each other, they raised their voices only once, and hadn't really argued so much as just exchanged their usual insults and went about their own things.

Okay, so it wasn't like they were best friends, but this was such a big improvement from how they'd been, even just a few weeks ago! Tohru only wanted them to forgive and forget, which she hoped wasn't asking too much of them. She often thought that she asked for too much, but whenever she tried to go without, one of them would insist otherwise. Kyo was always telling her it was okay to want things. He never listened to her when she complained that she was already being given so much. She feared being spoiled by the whole lot of them, and becoming an awful selfish horrible person that couldn't see the wonderful things about life anymore. But they wouldn't let that happen to her, would they? She didn't think so. She hoped not, anyway.

Actually, she thought that quite a number of them might wish that she'd let them spoil her, like Shigure or Momiji, or possibly Yuki. She was eternally grateful that she could always talk them out of things that seemed way too much, but she'd die before she told anyone that. If she tried too hard to refuse, she feared they'd feel insulted, or like she was refusing them, and that thought broke her heart.

Thank god for people like Kyo, who understood things like that and didn't try to push her to accept gifts or lots of favors.

Her mind wandered a little here and there, keeping herself smiling up at the heavens. She didn't hear when Kyo climbed up and joined her. He was surprised to find her there. This hadn't been the first time, either. A part of him was silently overjoyed that she found his place just as enjoyable as he did. It was starting to feel less like his place, and more like theirs. After all, the only person he'd ever seen come near the roof was Ritsu, and he only came here to threaten suicide. Not even Kagura came to the roof. Yuki did once, but Kyo had figured that was solely to appease Tohru, because he'd left shortly after sunrise to sleep.

Tohru must have heard him as he walked barefoot over the tiles toward her, because she turned and smiled at him.

"Hello Kyo-kun!"

"What're you doing up here?"

She shrugged and looked back up at the stars. "I guess it just seemed like a good idea at the time," she answered kind of lamely, her smile turning awkward for a moment.

"Mn," he acknowledged, taking a seat next to her.

"The movie you picked for us to watch after dinner was really interesting, Kyo-kun," she suddenly said, trying to start a conversation out of nowhere. "I've never seen a samurai movie before - Mom didn't like those kinds of things, but we would sometimes watch action movies. Did you watch those types of things with your Shishou?"

Kyo grunted and nodded, smiling at the sky with her. "I used to want to be a samurai, uh, when I was real little. I'd watch those kinda movies over and over, till the tapes broke," he admitted, half-chuckling awkwardly. It was becoming easier and easier to feel enough at-ease to admit little things like that, that would usually embarrass the hell out of him. Tohru pictured a young Kyo crying over another broken video cassette and giggled a quiet little good natured giggle.

"Do you still want to be a samurai? I think it would fit you, Kyo-kun."

"Eh?! Are you crazy? That's stupid. I just want to teach martial arts like Shishou."

"Ah, hai, of course. You're right, that was stupid of me to suggest. I'm sorry, Kyo-kun."

"Knock it off," he said, swatting at her playfully. He didn't actually hit her, but ended up swatting at her hair, looking kind of cat-like, like he was playing with the single strand. She shrunk down and blushed a little, feeling embarrassed for what she'd said, but recovered quickly and smiled again.

"How long have you wanted to be just like your Shishou?" she asked, then, as an afterthought, tapped her chin and looked to the stars, asking "Anou, would that make you a shishou, too?"

"Of course not! I just help with the littler brats now. And I've always wanted to do what Shishou does, ever since he started to teach me."

"Sugoi! It must feel great to be able to do what you've always wanted to do, Kyo-kun! And to follow in the footsteps of your Shishou. It must mean so much to him how you look up to him like that."

"I guess." Kyo hadn't really thought about it that way. He'd always just focused on how it made him feel to be doing what Shishou did, what he'd spent his whole life being taught to do by Shishou. He wondered if Shishou did feel pround of his decision. He hoped so.

"I can't even imagine what it must be like. Mom had always told me how much she wanted me to have more that she did... and I don't remember what it was that my dad did for work. Mom didn't talk an awful lot about it, just about how he looked and the things that he said."

Kyo felt a pang of remorse for her, but didn't say anything. He looked down, thinking to himself about how much worse he could have had things, growing up. And how similiar their situations were. He stole a sideways glance at her as he continued to think about it.

"Maybe... its best this way, though. I couldn't ever picture you in a gang," he finally said, trying to lighten the mood a little with a half-grin.

Tohru turned to him and blinked as the thought rolled over in her head. Her? In a gang? Like her mother? Like Uo? No matter how she tried, the thought didn't seem to process. She shook her head and giggled.

"... I can't, either."

"It would never work for you. What was it that yankee said they'd called your mom?"

"Ah! The Red Butterfly!" she smiled brightly, a bit happy to be asked things about her mother. It made her feel good when someone took interest in things that were important to her, and she loved to talk about her mother.

"Right. So you'd be what? The Little Butterfly? The Blue Fairy?" he chuckled to himself, shaking his head at the ridiculous imagery it gave him at the nicknames. Tohru giggled with him.

"Actually, it fits you a little. Little Butterfly," he said after a silence had washed over them for a few moments. He chanced another sideways glance at her to gouge her reaction. "Its better than 'Little Flower', anyway. The way that stupid dog says it makes it sound dirty. He pisses me off so much."

Tohru blushed, then thought to herself as Kyo went on beside her. The nickname made her feel warm inside, to be compared to her mother in some way. She wasn't sure if she would feel comfortable hearing Kyo call her that in front of the others, though. It was a bit embarrassing, although she didn't know why. A lot of them had cute or silly nicknames for her, so why would this make her feel different? Perhaps because it didn't seem like something that was just cute or silly. It seemed like a term of endearment, honestly, and that made her cheeks burn.

"Don't worry. I won't call you that or anything. Shigure would probably pick it up and make it sound dirty too. Stupid dog." Kyo guessed that Shigure could describe kittens playing in a feild of daisies and make it sound perverted, somehow. He had some weird talent, and it irked the neko boy.

"Ah, eto, okay." Tohru looked down, really embarrassed now. "You don't... have to..." A small, tiny, little little, almost invisible part of her screamed at the top of its lungs that she liked the name, and wanted to get used to hearing it. "Ah! I mean, its a nice nickname, and I'm sure Shigure wouldn't mean to do anything like that, and... I-" Tohru looked away, shutting herself up before she started sounded like a complete idiot.

Kyo stared at her, surprised, the softend and chuckled at her.

"How about... only on the roof?" That way, no one else would hear it, and he could indulge a little bit in her cute blushes.

"Ha.. anou... eto... if you really want to... you don't have to..."

"I could."

Tohru sat in silence for a little while, her blush staying strong as she swam in her emotions.

"Should... should I have a secret name for you, then, Kyo-kun?" she couldn't bring herself to look up at him when she finally whispered back. When she had finally pulled herself out from the river of embarrassment she was drowning in, she'd then thought of how unfair it would be for Kyo to keep a secret and not herself. She didn't stop to consider if nicknames were actually secrets, and if it would be fair to not have nicknames for the rest of the Sohma's.

Kyo was stunned for a minute, a smaller version of Tohru's blush painting his cheeks cutely. He wasn't at all sure he wanted to answer that. Whenever people gave him nicknames, they were cutesy and only used to piss him off and get reactions out of him. And most of them were jibes at his cat-self, that he hated. Would Tohru try to call him 'Koneko-chan' like Haru did? Ugh, he didn't know if he could handle that. Or worse, if he got used to it, or started to like it, and started wanting the dumb cow to call him by it more. He shuddered.

"I... only if its not girly!" he yelled, crossing his arms over his chest as he blushed a bit deeper, trying to hide his face at least partially from where Tohru could see it.

The outburst brought Tohru out of her embarrassed daze, now set with goal in mind, to think of a masculine nickname that fit Kyo. Were there any nicknames that were masculine? She didn't know. This was going to be a challenge...

"Okay... anou..."

She tried thinking of something that was related to martial arts, but came up with nothing. She frowned, admonishing herself for not knowing enough about her friends' interests.

"Ah! Um, how about..." she blushed with renewed ferver, as a thought ran through her mind solely, repeating it to herself over and over in a chant, trying to work herself up to actually say the next two words. This was hard! He might not even like it, and the words seemed very... intimate to her. It scared her a little to think of referring to a boy in an intimate fashion. Also, the only wording she could think of sounded rather... possessive. Like she was laying claims on him, and she had no intentions of trying to do something like that! She couldn't just suddenly start wanting him for herself. That was not only selfish, but overstepping several boundaries that she shouldn't be getting anywhere near!

Kyo was a little worried. Tohru looked like she was panicking, and thinking that he'd done this to her freaked him out. "What? Just say it, whatever it is! Even if its dumb or something. Even if its... girly, just spit it out!" he didn't mean to revert back to being harsh, but he had to say something, and he was usually brash when he didn't stop to think things through before saying them. If Yuki were here, he'd make some smart ass comment about how that was the case most of the time. He swore at the immitation of the damn rat in his head.

"Hai, ah.. m.. how about... My..." Gods, just that had been hard! Tohru had her eyes clenched shut, forcing herself to finish what she'd started. Kyo's eyes were already about as large as they could get. Hers?! Her what?! "M.. My... Samurai?" Tohru ducked down into herself again, having squeaked the last word out and now needing a large object to hide behind. Her entire face and then some felt like it was on fire... she could only imagine how red she must look. She might even get a fever from the stress she was throwing on herself over this... that would really be horrible.

Kyo didn't know what to say. He just stared at the frightened mess of a red-faced Tohru next to him. He felt his face flush and he wondered if he was blushing as bright as she was. No wonder it took her so long to say that. His mind made a noise like metal grinding against metal and all systems went down, shutting down all response, except the perma-blush staining his face.

After a few minutes of silence, Tohru panicked further. "Gomen, Kyo-kun! It was a bad idea, I know, I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You can forget it, its okay, ah, I'm sorry!" she squealed, hugging her knees tightly. She'd really messed up now!

That seemed to pull him out of his crash. He looked at her, still in shock, but a bit more composed now. He still didn't know what to say, though. So of course, he brain decided to throw out his thoughts before sifting through them to prevent sounding stupid or saying things he didn't actually mean to say.

"Shut up, I liked it!" He stopped, staring into oblivion as what came out of his mouth came around to his brain. Both his hands sprung up to his face and clamped over his mouth, hopefully preventing anyting else from escaping. A brief instruction from his brain told him to jump off the roof and end his life right then and there. It then decided that a fall like that wouldn't actually kill him, but he could at least run to safety once on the ground. He yelled at his brian to shut up. He would get through this. He had told himself long ago he was through with running away from his problems.

But this was different! This was scary, he told himself.

Tohru blinked at him, take a few moments to comprehend what he'd said as well.

"You... you do? Really?"

Kyo removed his hands and stammered over a quick "yeah", ducking his head to cover his face with his hair, completely embarrassed.

"Its not... I mean... ah, I, th... thank you..."

Kyo tilted his still blushing face up to sneak a glance at her with one eye. She was blushing too, and avoiding his gaze. He lifted his head the rest of the way, deciding it was stupid to be embarrassed about this stuff.

"So, a-anou, we should go to bed, probably..."

"H-hai! You're right!" Tohru was still blushing, but had pushed everything else behind her, at least for the moment. Kyo smiled at her. He stood and helped her up, then tusselled her hair and headed for the ladder.

"Kyo-kun?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want to watch another samurai movie next weekend?"

"Ah.. un," he replied, nodding once, a bit of blush coming back. "Sure... B-" he gulped, deciding he'd try the nickname some other time. He couldn't seem to get it out just yet. Tohru smiled at him just the same, having heard and understood. She was good at understanding things, at least once she stopped being confused by them. "Ah, Tohru," he finished lamely.

It was a start. She continued to smile at him and the two finished their climb down to the ground and headed to the stairs. As Tohru got to her bedroom door and slid it open, she watched Kyo walk further down the hall to his door. Before he could enter and close it behind himself though, she whispered "Good night, my Samurai," and ducked into her room quickly, sliding the door shut. Kyo stared at the shut door, shook his head and closed his own door behind him as he stepped in fully. He was NOT going to get much sleep tonight.

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The End

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God did that torture me. Kyo might have been a little OOC, but I was trying to juggle his more light-hearted attitude from later in the manga with his brash 'fight or flight' attitude from the series. I don't think he's completely abandoned his old self for the new one, and I think something like this would make him jump from one emotion to the next. So, uh, yeah. Cheese. SO MUCH CHEESE, I know. I just couldn't help it; when I listen to the line that goes "someone who is strong, but still a little shy", I can't stop from seeing Kyo tumbling over words and blushing like the cutie he is. And Tohru knows that he's just an awkward and shy little boy trapped in an angry and hurting big boy's body, so I thought it fit well. Anywho. Thanks for reading.