Disclaimer: Not mine! ASP's!

Summary: Fluffy fluffy ficlet. Lit, AU, based a little on spoilers.

Supposed to Be

Our hotel room is too nice. I don't know where he got the money for it, but he says he had some stowed away. I don't know if I should believe him or not.

It hardly matters now.

He's let his hair grow a little. He's stopped doing it crazy-like. I don't know why. I haven't asked. I think maybe he needed a change. Or maybe he got sick of doing it up every morning and having to worry about it.

It makes him look a little older. More serious. More real, somehow. He's still Jess. He still snaps and holds his tongue whenever possible. He still smokes cigarettes.

He's more morose than he was. I see it when we're about to fall asleep. I see his eyes darken and become sad. He knows we can't go back to what we were. Who we were. We can't be stupid kids anymore. He knows that if things don't work out way out here, on the rode, things will never work out.

And he's trying. You should see him. He smiles for me a little sometimes. He bought me flowers at a gas station a couple of days ago. He tells me things.

He wants to be with me. He loves me.

And god help me, I love him.

I love Jess Mariano.

He's sleeping now. His face buried in my neck, his soft breath tickling the skin there a little. His arm around me. Naked.

Yup. Naked.

I'm naked, too.

We had sex.

We had...sex.

We.

Had.

Sex.

Still trying to come to terms with that.

There was no pressure. There were no misunderstandings. I made the first move. I took off his pants first. It just kind of happened.

I cried a little afterwards. I think he suspects I regret it. I think he thinks that I'm ashamed.

I'm neither.

"Supposed to be together."

Those were his words, and he was right. A few months ago, I was trying to shut him out of my mind. To just forget everything about him. Forget the way his eyes would study the pages in a book. Forget the way his hands fit perfectly with mine. Forget everything we have in common. Forget everything.

And, as you can see... it didn't work. Not at all.

Because here we are. In bed. Naked.

Naked.

God, I really need to stop obsessing about this.

I guess I just wasn't expecting it to happen. I think I was expecting less from it. From everything I've read about The First Time, supposedly it's not all it's cracked up to be.

But...

It was...

He was...

And we...

I tighten my arms around him and kiss his hair. He shifts a little closer to me and I smile.

"Supposed to be together."

Yeah.

I think so.