All names listed herein are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The following is based on a song by the Nails.

Rating; PG-13

Feedback; Yes please.

Summary; This is what happenes when a fic writer gets bored. Song parody of The Nails, "Eighty-eight Lines About Forty-four Women". Meant to be funny.

Written by Kirayoshi

Buffy was a vampire slayer,
She was called the Chosen One.
Giles, the Watcher, came from England,
Liked to research things for fun.
Xander was the funny guy,
Who liked to play the calvalry,
Angel was the serious one,
Was into all that misery.

Spike was known as quite a terror,
Till he got that microchip.
Cordy was the fashion plate,
Always trendy, never hip.
Oz, the strong but silent type,
Tried to tame the wolf within,
Joyce would always wonder why
Her daughter dated Riley Finn.

Darla was a prostitute
'Fore waking to eternal night,
The Master waited for the Harvest,
Wondering which neck to bite.
Drusilla had a funny way
Of talking to the doll she held,
Mr. Snyder's favorite words
Were 'Locker search' and 'you're expelled'.

Angelus was Soul-less Boy,
Terror of her junior year,
Edith was a real doll,
Drucilla liked to hold her near.
Jonathan was quite the hero,
Just a legend in his mind,
Quentin was a nasty fellow,
A harder man you couldn't find.

Wesley was a wanna-be,
Who rubbed the others the wrong way,
Trick was more the subtle fellow,
'Till he saw the light of day.
Kendra's attitude was simple;
Turn it off and turn it on,
Faith was more direct than that,
Her creed was this; Get some, get gone.

Ethan was mercurial,
Chaotic in his heart and mind,
Parker merely was a close
Encounter of the poophead kind.
Maggie was a scientist,
Her cyborg was her claim to fame,
Riley was a soldier boy
Without a brain-cell to his name.

Vamp-Willow she was kinda sexy,
Kinda shy and kinda gay,
Anne was just an alias
When Buffy had to run away.
Jenny was of Gypsy stock,
But modern as the day is long,
Tara stuttered when she sang,
But kept the beat and kept it strong. (Oh, Tara...)

Mr. Flutie was a peach
Until he was thrown to the wolves,
Kakistos was pure evil,
From his head down to his cloven hooves.
Adam was a cyber-punk,
A bit of this, a bit of that,
Forrest showed Initiative,
And wondered, what the Hell is That?

Lindsay was a slick attorney,
A demon in the court of law,
Doyle was an Irish devil,
Future time was what he saw.
Glory had a Goddess complex,
And a fashion sense that kills,
Dawn was always quite a puzzle,
Brought her sister several thrills.
Balthazar was really fat,
There's not much more to say of him,
Harmony was thin and pale,
And for a vampire, rather dim.
Anya was the sexy type,
Who always stood beside her man,
Kate was friendly with a vampire,
Before the sewage hit the fan.
Ben was quite the quiet type,
Who knows what he kept inside?
Graham was oft confused with Riley
Whenever they stood side by side.
Mayor Wilkins' Ascension plan
Got the Slayer really pissed,
Lovely Willow, here's a kiss,
I've chosen you to end this list.