TITLE: It Should be Hair-Raising


DISCLAIMER: Howl's Moving Castle belongs to none other than the great Diana Wynne Jones.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: A BIG thank you to Caudex, for not giving up on my hopeless writing skills and beta-ing like a maniac. More thanks to FantasyLovingFreak, for being there to spew my ideas out to. Everyone go read her crossover story, it's the funniest thing to come out of FF.net.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Wow! I'm actually posting this! This story started out as extremely cheesy and unoriginal which I scraped, but took certain scenes from, elaborated n them, and so this was born. Have fun!


It was a beautiful afternoon in the Moving castle. Calcifer was sleeping peacefully in the grate, Michael was working diligently on a spell at the workbench, and Sophie and Howl were in the middle of a heated argument.

No one knew what it was really about; Sophie and Howl's quarrels were so common that eventually one just ignored them, like you would a barking dog, or a flickering light bulb.

Even though the pair had been married for almost a year now, they still argued as they used to, stopping only, it seemed, to move into a lovey-dovey state that was quite sickening to all those present.

Michael, who had been working for long hours to get his spell finished and so was really not in an amazing mood, gave up trying to get any work done in the midst of the din. With a sigh, he put down his book and reached for his coat.

"Howl? I'm going to Cesari's. I won't be more than two hours." Michael said, walking to the door and turning the knob green-down. Either Howl hadn't heard him, or he didn't care. With a shrug, Michael stepped onto the slowly moving field, and made his way to the town square, leaving the bickering couple in peace.

Calcifer, also feeling a sense of impending doom, made a hasty exit through the chimney.

"…I slave away all day keeping this house clean, and all I ask from you is that you at least pick up after yourself instead of the giant mess you leave around the house…"

"…You come in here like one giant cleaning hurricane, turning everything upside down. I can't find anything I need anymore, no spiders dare enter my bedroom now…"

As the argument reached a roaring climax, the windows near rattled with the sheer force of the young couple's combined lungpower. People in the town of Market Chipping poked their heads out of doorways, curious to the source of such a racket. Seeing at once that it came from Wizard Howl's house, they turned back to their work, uninterested.

The noise was cut off rather abruptly, which was another thing the people of Porthaven were used to. Howl, being a very practical person, chose the easiest way to get out of any disagreement with Sophie. After all, he was her husband.