Disclaimer: I do not own Jimmy Neutron as I'm sure you all know.
Author's Note: It's been edited and it might be a little confusing with the italics and the regular font coming in and out and stuff. The italics are all thoughts or memories. This, by the way, I would like to dedicate to me little guinea pig. Who passed away. She was 6. She was my inspiration. Don't laugh at me! Oh, one more thing, Majestic Twelve, to answer your question, yes, "Yesterday" does go well with the fic.
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It was night. The moon was full, and the stars shone. The sweet darkness of the night seeped through the opened window, into the livingroom. The breeze met him as he began his solemn steps into the room. Jimmy didn't bother to turn the lights on as he entered the quiet room. He wanted to hide his tear-stained face. The memories of his horrifying day soon swept through him as he plopped down on the couch. The dreadful scenes plagued him. His voice penetrated his mind. His anger very clear as he thought back, I'll have this party with or without you! It had been another stupid argument between him and his beloved. The words pierced him now, pierced him like a knife cutting across his heart.
His heart ached. He ached.
His mind skipped ahead to the more gruesome part of his day. . .
The car came racing down the road. He hadn't seen it, he hadn't even heard it coming. Neither one of them did. He nor his beloved. Their anger had taken over them, blocking out everything, but each other. The lights flashed as the car advanced forward and then the horn honked. Next came the swerving of the car, followed by the screeching of the tires.
Jimmy shut his eyes, trying to escape it, but to no avail. The scenes seemed to play clearer. He heard the thump that came next and then the breaking of bone. It filled his mind and his ears began to ring with every sound. He shook his head. Everything was so fresh. Too fresh. A tear escaped his eye as he leaned back.
"I'm sorry," he whispered as he leaned his head back against the couch, his eyes still shut. "I'm so sorry."
He had no control over his emotions at the moment. He began to shed the tears which had been hidden within him for so long. At first, he sobbed lightly, but soon it grew out of control. It all happened in one quick motion. He leaned forward with his face in his hands, placing his elbows on his knees. A tremor ran through him as his heart filled with grief. Soon guilt washed over him as he asked himself the questions which he needed answers to, why hadn't it been me? Why couldn't it have been me? It should've been me!
Memories again played themselves in his mind. This time the day had replayed itself from the beginning. The start of the day when all he had been looking forward to was Cindy and her sixteenth birthday. . .
"Jimmy!" his mother shouted up to him. "You'll be late again if you don't get up now!"
"Don't miss your bus, Jimbo!" his father called.
"Bark, bark!" came the mechanical voice.
Jimmy jumped, startled by the sudden noise in his ear. He landed face first on the other side of the bed. He lay still as Goddard stretched his head to the other side. His head poked through to the other side from underneath the bed. Jimmy still lay sprawled on the floor of his bedroom, unmoving. "Bark, bark, bark!"
Jimmy quickly stood, suddenly very awake. Without much thought, he turned sharply and headed for his drawer and looked about for his clothing. Pulling out the cloths that he had tucked away for this very special occasion, he put them on as quickly as possible and sprayed his cologne, and dashed for the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and then his hair. He ran into his room, patted Goddard on the head, grabbed his backpack and ran down the stairs to the kitchen. Goddard was in toe.
He hurried into the kitchen just as his mother was about to call him down a second time.
"Jimmy, you better - "
"Morning, mom," he greeted. "Morning, dad." He grabbed a piece of toast as it popped out of the toaster and ran out the door. "Bye, mom! Bye, dad!"
Goddard barked in protest.
"Bye, Goddard!" Jimmy added and he fled.
Hugh laughed. "Bye, Jimbo!" he called after his son before bringing his attention to the daily comics again. "Ah, that Snoopy."
Jimmy could hear his father. He imagined his mother rolling her eyes as she closed the door. A smile broke across his face as he popped the toast in his mouth. He chewed on it as he ran. He was to walk with Cindy and he didn't want to be late. He ran across his backyard, darting through the front. As he ran, he caught a glimpse of Cindy coming out of her house. Libby greeted her and they began to step away from the front door. Jimmy's excitement only grew. His heart raced as he looked upon Cindy's beautiful face.
"Cindy!" he shouted. She turned to him and frowned. He smiled at her. Her features were so delicate. Her face was almost angelic, despite her unhappy frown. She was an angel in his eyes. An angel so pure that he himself believed deserved more than he could ever give her.
Libby grinned from ear to ear. She whispered something in Cindy's ear, which made Cindy smile devilishly. She was a bit of a devil, but she was still an angel no matter how devilish her smile was.
"What do you want, Nerd-tron?" she asked as he approached her. She placed her hands on her hips. Jimmy's heart skipped a beat as he flashed a sheepish smile at her. She was so sweet! The need to touch her washed over him like a wave. He wrapped an arm around her waits and pulled her close. His partially opened mouth met her's and automatically, she allowed him the kiss. His other hand moved to her cheek as her arms circled his neck. He could feel her smile against his lips as they kissed. Her lips were incredibly soft and warm and Jimmy could feel his head becoming light as the kiss became more tender. The feeling of warmth embraced him.
This had been the best moment of his day
Reluctantly, he let her go. She looked up at him, her arms still around his neck. Over the years he had grown taller than she and now it was he who teased her on her height.
"Aw!" Libby cooed.
Jimmy felt a blush wash over his face, but it quickly went away as he spotted Mrs. Vortex peeking out the window from the corner of his eye. With the back of her hand, she held the window curtain aside to see. Her eyes narrowed as she looked on.
She had never liked the fact that her daughter was dating someone of Jimmy's "financial" status. His family might have not made as much as her's did, but he cared for Cindy deeply and he wasn't going to let something as petty as money get in the way of that.
He smiled and waved at the woman. "Hello, Mrs. Vortex!" he called, giving her a very pleasant smile.
Cindy turned to her mother. Jimmy knew she could see her mother's disapproval. And then he suddenly wondered how Cindy put up with it and he still had no idea how she had managed to convince her mother to allow her to stay with him. It had stunned him when Cindy told him, but she had not told him what she had said to convince her.
Cindy then turned to Jimmy and smacked his arm playfully.
"Stop," she warned, holding back a giggle while trying to come off stern. "She'll hate you more than she already does."
"Is it possible for your mother to hate Jimmy any more?" Libby questioned.
Jimmy continued to smiling at the woman. "I'll see you at dinner!" he called.
With a huff, Mrs. Vortex left the window. Libby laughed.
"Come on," Cindy urged. She pulled Jimmy away. Her touch sent pleasant chills through him as he allowed her to guide him away from her house.
Their relationship had certainly developed over the years. Their one year anniversary was that very same day, along with Cindy's 16th birthday. Jimmy had planned a huge party, inviting almost the whole sophomore class and Cindy's family to his house for a celebration. He had helped organizing everything with the help of Mr. Vortex and both of his parents. Libby, Carl, and Sheen had also helped quit a bit. Mrs. Vortex had wanted to plan her daughter's party alone, but had been dragged into helping Jimmy and the crew by her husband. Even Goddard helped out. When school let out, Jimmy planned on taking her to where he first asked her to be his girlfriend a year ago: by the pond at the park. He'd then sit her down by the pond and talk to her of their memories of the past and the year they had been together, so everyone would have the right amount of time to finish setting up everything he was not able to at the house. He'd then take her back to his house where everyone would be gathered and then she'd have the biggest bash ever
"Bash," he whispered, softly. The word sent ice-cold chills down his spine now. He shook his head, wanting to clear his mind of the word. Tears slid down his cheeks. He hadn't even really noticed that he had been crying as he thought back on the beginning of his day.
His memories soon continued. . .
Jimmy's arm sat around Cindy's waist. She placed a hand on his shoulder. Her free hand moved toward his on her waist. His heart swelled with happiness. It always made him feel good when Cindy was around. He really couldn't imagine life without her. She was life, his life. She was his world, his past, present, and even his future. He was positive that she was "the one" and that alone gave him the driving need to please her and keep her with him.
"I see you're wearing the shirt and pants that I love seeing you in," she said. She looked him up and down as she spoke. Jimmy nodded with a smile. His eyes gleamed with joy.
"Please, don't jump on him like you did last time," Libby pleaded as she placed her headphones to rest around her neck. During some time she had placed her head phones on as they walked.
Cindy blushed. Jimmy laughed. "Hey!" she protested. "I couldn't help myself! He looked good and plus that was a long time ago. I've matured since then."
Jimmy and Libby laughed. "It was only 3 months ago!" they argued.
"How much could someone mature in 3 months?" Libby asked, still laughing.
Cindy fumed. "I have matured!" she said rather childishly as she crossed her arms over her chest and pulled herself away from Jimmy. She then became very quiet. Jimmy knew that she was aware of her actions and the way she had spoken her protest. He responded to this by kissing her forehead.
"You're so cute when you're angry," he stated. He smiled down at her. She pushed him away with a playful smile.
"Shut up," she said. Libby continued to laugh.
As soon as they arrived at school, they were greeted by swarms of students. Some had even congratulated them for their one-year anniversary. They humbly thanked them. Sheen and Carl soon met up with them.
"Hey, Jimmy!" They greeted.
"Did you watch the Ultra Lord Marathon last night?" Sheen questioned. "It was amazing!"
"I was watching that special on Llama's on the Discovery Channel," Carl added. "And then I watched the squirrels outside gather acorns."
"No, unfortunately I did not see the Ultra Lord Marathon or the Llama's special on the Discovery Channel," Jimmy replied.
"That's too bad," Carl said. "Because the llamas were really interesting."
"I'm sure they were, Carl," Jimmy responded.
Everything after that seemed to be a blur to him now. He couldn't really remember. His mid seemed to be working against him. It all just seemed to be completely blocked out of his memory as if his mind wanted him to skip ahead, but Jimmy did not want to skip ahead. He didn't even want to remember anything. Just Cindy. Her voice, her touch and her sweet smell. Her sparkling green eyes and her long, flowing blond hair. Her lips against his. The sweet things. The things which made him feel good. The things which reminded him of his life with her, the things which reminded him of his love for her. Something he should've confessed to her long ago when he was sure he felt it. . .
"Jimmy?" Cindy had asked him during lunch. "Do you love me?" Everything at the table stopped.
"Not this again," Libby whispered under her breath.
"Uh-oh," Sheen added softly.
For months Cindy had spoke of her love for him. She had told him many times that she had loved him, but he could never bring himself to say the three very simple, very strong words. He knew he was afraid to say it, but he never really understood why. He figured then and now that it was because maybe he had trouble committing. No, that couldn't have been it. He just didn't know, but he wanted to say it. But for fear of something he didn't know, he couldn't tell her
"Uh," he replied. "So. . . how exciting was that llama's special last night?"
"Oh, no," Cindy said. "Don't go changing the subject again, Jimmy. Why can't you just come out and say it? I know you do!"
"Then why bother saying it?!" he questioned, a bit defensively.
"Because I'd like to have it confirmed!" she argued.
"Please, don't fight about this again," Libby pleaded. "We're at school. Come on. Jimmy loves you, Cindy. You know he does. I know he does. They knows he does. We all know he does. Okay? Happy? Let's just sit down and eat our lunch."
Libby motioned Cindy to calm down, but she did the opposite. She stood up. "No!" she protested. "It's not okay! I'm not happy! I want to hear you say you love me! What's the big deal! We've been together for a year! I can say it! Why can't you? Is it because you truly don't love me? Is that it? Maybe it's another girl!"
Jimmy blushed as she spoke. People began to stare and their table was suddenly the center of attention. He wasn't sure if he was very happy about that or the accusations she was now speaking of.
"Hey!" he shouted as he stood, his embarrassment was no longer clear. "There is no other girl!"
"Oh, so there is!" Cindy shouted.
"I just said there wasn't!"
"Who is it?" Cindy asked, completely ignoring him. "Is it Betty? I bet it's Betty!"
"It's not Betty!" Jimmy protested.
"No one!" Jimmy shouted. "Listen, to me! There's only one girl in my life! And that girl is you!" He looked at her. Her eyes softened a bit. His voice became softer as he continued to speak. "It's always been just you, Cindy. I-I - "
"Go on, Jimmy," Libby coaxed.
"What, Jimmy? What is it?" Cindy asked. Her eyes suddenly filled with a need that Jimmy had never seen before. She took his hand and squeezed it lightly. "Tell me, please."
"I. . .care for you deeply," Jimmy said, letting out a deep breath, which he had been holding in. Cindy's eyes expressed her sudden sadness. She then became angry.
"Fine!" she yelled. "Don't say it! I get it now!" She got up and walked away.
"Why couldn't you just say it?" Libby inquired, exasperated. She then turned away to catch up to Cindy.
"I-I don't know," Jimmy answered.
He sat down. He needed to get over this fear and tell her how he felt. She felt the same way for him, it's not like she would reject him like he thought she would years before. But what was it now, that prevented him from telling her his true feelings? He needed to search deep inside himself for the
answer and fast before he lost Cindy forever.
Thinking back now, he had wished that he could've told her. His guilt seemed to escape from the great depths of his soul and he could do absolutely nothing about it. He suddenly found himself wondering how three little words so simple and plan, could mean so much more than any other words
could ever explain. . .
After school Jimmy found Cindy hanging around on the front lawn of the Retroville High with Nick Dean and some other football jocks. His jealousy grew as he watched her. A low growl forced it's way out from his throat. He stomped toward Cindy and when he reached her, he grabbed her elbow
and whispered, "Can I talk to you?" He looked at the jocks around them, staring and with a much louder tone, he added, "Alone." Nick and company left, leaving Cindy and Jimmy alone. "Listen," Jimmy began. "I'm- "
"Sorry?" Cindy asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. Jimmy nodded with a sigh. "Well," Cindy said. "Apology not accepted."
Jimmy's astonishment was clear in his eyes. Had it really upset her that much this time? He began to panic. He spoke quickly. "But I'm sorry! And really I want to tell you, but for some reason I can't! Believe - "
"Save it, Neutron!" She yelled as she held up a hand to stop his speech. "And don't you dare try to use your hypno-thingy on me!"
She walked away and Jimmy had the distinct feeling that she had walked out of his life. Though he didn't realize that this action was only foreshadowing what was to come.
The tears continued to escape his eyes as he thought about her walking away from him. He should've known from the feeling that he had gotten that something was going to happen. It was almost as if some force unknown was trying to help him, actually help him. He suddenly hated himself for not realizing it then. He had come to realize so late and now. . .what how would that help? The situation was out of his hands. His tears streamed down his face as his heart ached. He had never known pain like this. It was alien to him and the tears he now shed seemed to never stop. A flash of red appeared in his mind. He looked down at his hands. He hadn't realized the dry blood which now covered them. He
shut his eyes. His sobs over took him suddenly as the memories played. . .
He had managed to get Libby to persuade Cindy to go to Jimmy's after discovering that Libby was with Cindy two hours later after he had last spoken to Cindy. The party would still go on. Though his plan had not worked as he had wanted. He did not have a chance to take her back to the place where he had first asked her out, but that he had to do without. He still wanted to throw her the party. Angry or not. Together or not, he still wanted to go threw with it.
He would met them as he approached his house. He had gone to the park on his own. Now he was walking back to his house. As he rounded the corner he could see Libby dragging Cindy across the street. From the slightly opened window, Jimmy could see Cindy's family and friends getting into hiding places. He approached Cindy and Libby.
Cindy was the first to notice him. She stopped. Her face contorted with anger. She stomped toward him and he slowed his pace as he saw the seriousness in her eyes. She stood in the street and he walked to her.
"Libby says that you want to talk to me," she said as she walked closer.
"Yeah," he said, shifting slightly, feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"About what? Tell me now before I change my mind," she demanded. Her hands were on her hips. She seemed to lean in close to better hear him.
"Well," Jimmy began as he rubbed his arm. "I wanted to apologize." Cindy rolled her eyes clearly not amused. "I know I hurt you and I just wanted to say- "
"You know you hurt me?" she hissed, her voice sounding like venom. "You don't know how much you've hurt me! It's been a year that we've been together, Jimmy, and still you can't tell me you love me! Do you know how that makes me feel?" Jimmy moved his lips to answer, but Cindy interrupted. "It makes me feel like I'm wasting my time with you! I feel like you could care less and
that you just really don't want to be with me!"
His anger grew. He knew he had told her many times that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Wasn't that proof enough for her? Wasn't that enough to let her know how much he cared? Nothing was ever good enough! She always wanted what she couldn't have! Why couldn't she just understand that he wasn't quite ready to tell her? Why couldn't she just understand that there was some fear he had which made him hold back, a fear he didn't even understand? Why couldn't she at least try to understand?
"Look, Cindy," He shouted. "I'm sorry, but I can't help it if I'm scared to tell you!"
"Scared?" She sneered.
"Yeah, scared!" Jimmy answered.
"Oh, please! Don't make up excuses, Neutron!"
"I'm not!" he admitted.
"Guys, please, just stop it! Everyone is waiting and I think we've kept them waiting long enough!" Libby argued.
Neither Jimmy nor Cindy seemed to really hear her. They stared at each other never once leaving each other. They were to angry with one another to really hear or see anything, but each other, which would soon be one of their downfalls.
Their arguing continued and the sky seemed to turn darker with foreboding filling the evening sky. Libby continued to argue with them until she gave up. She walked to the sidewalk and watched them with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Why can't you just understand where I'm coming from?!" Jimmy asked.
"It's a hard story to believe!" Cindy replied.
"I hate it when you don't listen to anything but your own voice!" Jimmy shouted. That was when the car rounded the corner. It raced down the road. "Why don't you just leave me alone! I'll have this party with or without you!"
The car's flashing lights didn't even seem to penetrate through either one of their minds neither had Libby's sudden warning. The screeching tires didn't even seem to do much either and then Libby's warning became louder and even still, they did not move. Not one muscle. The horn honked and then
something flashed in Cindy's eyes and in one swift second as he blinked the car rammed into her hip, sending her who knows how many feet in the air and far off the side. Jimmy could hear Libby's scream. It filled his ears and he almost didn't open his eyes for fear of what he'd see.
His eyes opened, slowly. He became wide eyed as Cindy's form came into view. He shut his eyes, wishing, hoping that it was just one horrible dream and he'd soon wake up, but Libby's screams and the screams which joined her's were all too real to be a dream and he opened his eyes. Cindy lay on her back. One arm was twisted in the wrong direction and her other arm lay limp at her side. One leg lay bent at the knee as the other lay still at an angel. Blood slipped from between her lips. One hip looked distinctively broken. It seemed to be indented slightly.
Jimmy was at her side in seconds. He looked down at her. His bottom lip quivered as he felt the tears threatening to escape. She seemed to move her head slightly to him, somewhat lifelessly. It sent a horrible icey chill down his spine.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he blurted. He wanted to hold her, but he hesitated as he reached out. Libby still screamed from behind him. His mother was already outside with the party guests. Some of them were screaming. Mrs. Vortex was the one laying on the ground. She had fainted. "Someone help!" Jimmy began to shout. A lump began to form in his throat as his tears streamed down his face. "Please!" His voice began to crack as he shouted. It became low and breathy. "Help!"
"Jimmy," Cindy breathed.
Jimmy looked down at her. His vision slightly blurred by his tears, the lump growing in his throat. "It'll be okay, Cindy. You'll be okay."
"No," she whispered. "I'm dy-dy-"
"No!" Jimmy shouted. "No, you're not! I won't allow that! I won't! Someone help!"
At that moment his mother ran inside the house, her tears running down her face. Libby fell to her knees behind him. He looked about at the party guests. They were all in tears. Jimmy turned to Cindy again. His whole body trembled as the tears continued to come. It wouldn't stop. His heart began to ache.
"Jimmy," Cindy called. "Hold me, please."
He hesitated at first, but then he gingerly and carefully took her in his arms. A small low whimper from deep inside her throat surfaced. From the way it had come out, Jimmy knew she was only trying to hide the pain for his sake. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks as his mother ran out to him. She stayed a good distance away, not wanting to crowd him. She knew he needed this moment with her. The last moment of her dear, sweet life.
"Tell my parents that I'm sorry for-for being such a pain. And Let my family and friends know that I love them all. And, Jimmy, please, please take go-good care of- " She coughed before she continued. "- take care of Libby for me. Be as good a friend to her as you are to Sheen and Carl. She'll need you to get over. . .this."
"Don't talk like that!" Jimmy scolded. "Please, don't talk like that." His voice became soft. Jimmy suddenly noticed, with a chill that Cindy's body temperature had dropped a great deal. She trembled from the cold and from her own fear.
Jimmy noticed as she attempted to touch his face, he seemed to sense it, but her arm would not move. A tear escaped her eyes as realization hit her, a startling realization that Jimmy did not know. She tried to shrug it off with a smile, but Jimmy had already seen it in her eyes. He saw past the fake smile. He shook his head.
"Don't cry for me, Jimmy, please. I want to see you smile," she said.
"How can you expect me to smile at a time like this?" he asked.
"Please, grant a dying girl her wish."
That was all it took. After a slight pause he smiled and then he leaned down to kiss her forehead.
"You're so warm," she said as she gulped. A tear fell from Jimmy's cheek and landed on her eyelash. He wiped it away gently before kissing her once more.
"I love you," he whispered. "I always have and I always will." He pulled away from her. Tears of joy streamed down her delicate, angelic face, despite her pain.
"I love you too," she replied, her voice quivering.
"Don't leave me, Cindy, please," he pleaded, the lump in his throat becoming larger. "I need you. You're my life. You're everything to me."
"I- " Her tears continued. "It's not up to me, Jimmy." She coughed. "Tell me, of our time together."
Her body began to tremble slightly.
He rocked her, gently as he spoke, "When I first asked you to be my girlfriend," he began, "we talked forever about how we both feared of rejection from one another. Remember?" he asked. Cindy nodded with a smile. "We sat by the pond, watching the fish swim after each other. The ducks
walked among each other, searching for food. The sky was a beautiful mix of violet, blue, orange, yellow, and a bit of pink as the sun began to go down. You told me you always wanted to watch the sun go down with me. Remember how we stayed until the moon rose?" This time Cindy's movements were slight, but he didn't seem aware of it."We walked hand in hand to your house and we kissed under the moonlight and stars at your door for the very first time. It was the most passionate, tender, loving kiss that we had ever shared. Remember?" Cindy did not respond. Jimmy looked down. Cindy's eyes were shut. A small smile on her face. "Cindy?"
He chocked back the tears he felt in his eyes. The lump in his throat, he tried to swallow. "Cindy?" he asked again. His lip quivered and he took a deep breath. The tears came again as realization hit him like a slap in the face. "No," he said. "I need you." His voice trembled as he sniffed. "Cindy!" He cried like he had never done before. The ache in his heart was unavoidable. It was unbearable. A void suddenly filled him as he rocked Cindy in his arms. She was gone. And she was never coming back.
"Come back, please," he pleaded. "Come back!" A pair of hands soon embraced him as he rocked Cindy. He realized with a start that it was his mother. She tried to pull him to his knees, but he pulled away from her. He looked at Cindy as the sirens sounded. He leaned forward and tenderly kissed her one last time before the ambulance came to take her away. "I love you," he said after he kissed her and pretty soon the ambulance had come and she was taken from him.
Jimmy moved to the floor and curled himself into a ball as he sobbed. The ache in his heart was killing him. He couldn't stand it much longer. Was it possible to die of a broken heart?
"I'm so sorry," he said repeatedly as he lay curled on the floor. "I'm sorry, Cindy."
He wished he could just go back in time and tell her everything. Tell her the exact way she made him feel. The way he loved to have her touch him because it sent a wave of warmth through his heart and how just the sight of her made his heart skip a beat. Or how no matter what she did or what she said, she was still always an innocent, sweet angel in his eyes.
If he could only turn the hands of the clock around, then he'd tell her how much he loved her the first time she had asked and every day after that until he knew for sure that she would stay with him forever. . .