What a Revoltin' Development!
Part 1: First Encounter

The Ever-Lovin'-Brown-Eyed

Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Not the Fantastic 4 or the Thing's admirer, they all belong to Marvel!

Quote of the day- 'I don't care if he's rogering the Duke of York with a prize-winning leek, HE SHOT MY PIGEON!'- General Melchett (Blackadder Goes Forth)

A bar somewhere in the Bronx-

Benjamin J. Grimm, better know to the public at large as, the ever- loving blue-eyed Thing, is sitting in his local bar tossing back a few beers. You would think that the bar patrons would be wary of such a person frequenting their. The matter couldn't be further from the truth. A few years back, during on of Dr Doom's battles against the Fantastic 4, a stray laser beam blasted part of the masonry away from the bar wall and the building began to collapse. Seeing the trouble, the Thing risked his own life to save those already inside! Another factor is that Wolverine can sometimes be seen there too!

'Nother beer Ben?' The barman asks.

'Keep 'em comin!' Ben replies.

The barman pops open another bottle and passes it to the orange-skinned hero.

'Hey Joey.'


'You still do those fried onion flowers right?'

'Sure due Ben! You're the sole reason we do 'em!'

'Be a pal and fry a few will ya?'

'Coming right up!'

With that, the barman goes out to the kitchen to start cooking.

Ben takes a sip of his beer and looks into the large mirror overhead. He notices a woman approach him from behind. She has long auburn hair and emerald green eyes.

'Is anybody sitting here?' The woman asks.

'Nah, go ahead.' Ben replies.

The woman sits down and orders herself a drink.

'Hi, I'm Helena.' She says, holding out her hand.

'Ben, but you already knew that, right?' Ben replies, shaking her hand.

'Oh yeah, I've seen you on the news.'

'Don't take this personal or nuthin.' Ben says. 'But you seem a bit too classy to come to a joint like this. Usually the only woman that we get in here are hookers, or Typhoid Mary!'

'I'm neither of those.' Helena replies. 'I'm just here for a drink.'

The barman returns with Helena's drink, a Martini as it happens.

'Cheers!' She says, clinking Ben's beer bottle.

'Cheers!' Ben replies.

They both take a sip of their respective drinks.

'Is it me or have I seen you somewhere before?' Ben asks.

'You might have saved me from a mugger a while ago.' Helena replies. 'Then again, maybe I've just got one of those faces.'

The barman then brings up the onion flower things.

'I've always wondered how they make those things!' Helena says.

'It's quite simple really.' Ben replies. 'First they cut the onion into the flower shape then they freeze it, to keep the shape. When that's done, they fry it!'

'Will wonders never cease?' Helena grins. 'First mankind builds the pyramids, then the Renaissance, then they learn how to make such a delectable dish as that!'

An hour or so later-

Ben and Helena are now sat in a side booth. Ben is telling her about one of the Fantastic 4's random battles with Dr Doom.

'And that's how Mr Fantastic got his scar?'

'Yup.' Ben replies. 'Doomsie burnt him in revenge for getting trapped in Hell!'

'Poor guy!' Helena sighs. At Ben's look she corrects herself. 'Uh, Reed of course!'

Helena then looks down at her watch.

'Oh goodness! I have to go, I've got to get up early in the morning!'

She then rifles around in her bag for a piece of paper and a pen. She writes down a number and passes it to Ben. 'Call me!'

With that, she leaves, leaving Ben watching after her in bemusement.

A dingy motel several blocks away-

Helena unlocks the door to her motel room and walks in. She dumps her bag onto her dresser table and removes her blonde wig, revealing long black hair underneath. She slumps down onto her bed and looks up at the ceiling.

'Has it really come to this?' She thinks to herself. 'The Black Queen of the Hellfire Club frequenting grotty little bars?'

Selene sits back up and walks over to a full-body mirror. She mutters a few words and her long purple dress changes back into her usual attire of black leather bustier and thigh-high nigh-heeled boots.

Selene walks over to her bed and slumps back down.

'I can't believe this!' She says. 'First my powers of immortality are taken from me, and then I am ejected from the Hellfire Club! All because of August!'

The Baxter Building, Home of the Fantastic 4-

Johnny Storm, aka the Human torch, is pottering around in the kitchen rustling up a snack. He looks up from his sandwich preparations as Ben walks in through the door.

'You seem awfully chipper Ben!' Johnny says. 'You're not drunk are ya? Remember what Sue said about too much beer!'

'Oh stow it ya over-frown Zippo lighter!' Ben replies. 'For your information, I've got a chick's phone number!'

'No way!' Johnny gasps. 'Prove it!'

'Read it and weep!' Ben replies, waving the note in front of Johnny's face. 'I've got a chick's number and you ain't!

'Gimmie it! I wanna see!' Johnny says as he tries to make a grab for the note. Ben just holds it higher, out of his reach.

'There's no way that you got a real chick's number!' Johnny says. 'You faked it!'

'Did not!'

'Did too!'




'You're just jealous cuz you haven't had any for weeks!' Ben grins.

'I could get anyone I wanted!' Johnny pouts.

'Yeah ya can kid, sure ya can!'

Ben then goes to sit on the couch and watch TV. Then Susan and Reed Richards, aka the Invisible Woman and Mr Fantastic walk in.

'Oh Ben.' Sue says. 'You're in early! Did you have a good time?'

'Sure did Suzie!' Ben grins.

'Ben reckons that he's got a girl's number! I say it's fake!' Johnny pouts from the kitchen.

'Good for you Ben!' Reed grins. 'It's nice to see you happy for once!'

'I know Stretcho!' Ben replies. 'There's finally a woman that isn't scared to look at me!'

'Are you going to phone her back?' Sue asks, walking up beside Johnny and brewing up some coffee.

'You bet I am!' Ben grins. 'This opportunity is too good to miss!'


What does Selene want with Ben? Who is this August that stripped her of her powers and kicked her out of the Hellfire Club? Will Ben find out who Helene really is before it's too late? Find out the answers to these question and more, next time on: 'What a Revoltin' Development!'