A Week From the Journal of Toad
Because of our vacation, group therapy was rescheduled until tomorrow. And Jaye hasn't returned from her vacation to Niagara Falls yet, so we pretty much got an extra day of vacation, despite being back home at the pit now. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to pull Shipwreck and Roxie from each other. But General Hawk doesn't want Roxie to come to the Pit unless he's sure that she and Shipwreck are going to last a while. I hope they do, even if Carly is freaking out about it. Who cares which of them is more insane, the point is they're both nuts and don't mind that the other is. It was just sheer luck that neither the cops nor the loony bin people wanted to mess with the two lovebirds. Psyche-Out learned all about what happened while we were away and the group therapy is now super sized. We have to spend all morning with him, but that's not so bad. He's a cool guy. Even if he does have weird exercises to get us and the X-Geeks to become friends. I also think that we may need this therapy. Most of us have gotten over the police visit, but it's going to take a lot more work for Adam and Pietro to get over it. But I think that's just because they were nearly arrested for indecent exposure…that is until the cops realized that the two weren't out in public…they were in the privacy of their own home. I think I agree with the police, though. We didn't need to see that. Why were they waxing themselves? Couldn't they do that when, I don't know, no one else was within a hundred mile radius? I'll never get the image out of my head. If I have nightmares tonight, I'm definitely going to go to Xavier and beg him to erase that memory.
The good news is that there weren't nightmares last night. The bad news is that now my Cuddlebumps is upset with me (so are Carly and Wanda, come to think of it.) How was I supposed to know that when Psyche-Out asks what you dreamt the previous night you're supposed to lie? There should be some sort of Therapy Guidebook! This morning is still vivid in my mind. Psyche asked us if any of us would care to tell everyone what we dreamed the night before and, since I had an interesting dream, I raised my hand. That was the worst mistake of my life, by far. Last night I dreamed that Cobra invaded the Pit. That's not an uncommon thing, right? What was strange is that the girls were in charge (not that they shouldn't be, but everyone else was missing…everyone except for me, Althea, Wanda, and Carly.) So the girls kicked terrorist butt. I really should have stopped talking there. It's what happened next that got me in trouble. I told them that the attack wasn't a real attack, but a realistic computer training program (much better than the Danger Room.) No…that's where I should have stopped. They didn't need to know that the dream then moved on to the girls in the locker room. With very, very little clothing and girly touching. Yes, not the worst dream I ever had. Or maybe it was because I was later asked about it. I don't think my Cuddlebumps is ever going to speak to me again. I also think that Beach Head wants to beat me up for the naughty dream. Actually, so do the other guys…they're mad they didn't have them. On the bright side, that got the girls angry with them, too. So at least I'm not alone. The only ones the girls aren't mad at were Xi and Adam. Oh, I wish I were one of them right now.
I think I made another mistake. After apologizing to my darling Althea millions of times today, she still won't forgive me. So I asked Lance for his help. After all, who among us knows more about apologizing and begging forgiveness than him? I shouldn't have asked him for help, though. He has this elaborate scheme involving a suit of armor and Barry Manilow. I think Lifeline has been a bad influence on him. We'll be doing his plan tomorrow. I hope it works. I love my luscious Cuddlebumps. I can't be held accountable for what my brain does when I'm sleeping! I can't even be held responsible for it during the day!
I hate Lance. His plan didn't work. It just got me embarrassed. The armor didn't fit, I ran into a lot of things when the helmet wouldn't open, and then, in the classroom, I tripped over my own feet and flew right out of the armor pants. To make it all worse, Pietro got me to admit that I had the dream again. The girls overheard that (I don't know why they wouldn't have…we were in the classroom at the time and it got Jaye to laughing hard enough that class was dismissed early. Adults are bad, bad people.) I'm in even more trouble with them now. And you have no idea just how much worse Wanda's hexbolts feel when they're being conducted through metal. My Cuddlebumps is never going to forgive me, is she? It's time to go to someone else for help.
Remind me why I went to Cyke for help. Someone needs to remind me right now. I should know that anything told to him goes to everyone else (and the Misfits by extension, but they're not important to this story.) The point is, everyone now thinks that I'm a pervert that is too pathetic to be forgiven. I'm not! Honest I'm not! I just have a very bad brain. But Cyke did agree to help me (I think it's because he may have had bad dreams himself. Note to self: ask him about that sometime.) He directed me to this great catering service so I can plan an elaborate apology dinner for Althea. He also told me of this florist that sells exotic flowers. I hope this works. I have everything set up for tomorrow night. I'll be taking Althea to a romantic little spot in Central Park (a spot Angel told me about. That guy's not half bad.) I hope everything goes all right. I talked Xavier and Roadblock into helping me with romantic music. They said they'd each have a list of good selections tomorrow. I really hope everything goes well.
Note to Self: Never have another romantic dinner using suggestions from the X-Geeks. Never, never, ever! Or have a romantic dinner outside. I think I was finally beginning to win my Cuddlebumps over, but then there was a freak rainstorm that ruined it all. Maybe Murphy's Law is a real thing. At least in a mutant's case. I seem to have a lot of bad luck. The other Misfits and even the X-Geeks, too. We came back to the Pit all wet and were immediately laughed at. Actually, I think the laughing was more at me than at Al, but she got upset anyway. How many times do I have to apologize? Doesn't she know that I feel horrible about this? That I'd take it back if I could? She wouldn't even take me up on my offer to have Xavier wipe it from my mind. Man, I wish I could go do that. I would go do it anyway, except I think it would make Al madder. And I don't much trust Xavier not to make me go through the rest of my life thinking I'm a ten-year-old girl. I wouldn't put it past him.
My girlfriend is just evil. But she's my girl and I love her! She finally forgave me! She had to get back at me first, but she did forgive me! I was minding my own business this afternoon, moping and trying to think of ways to make it up to her when I walked past her room. I glanced in and was convinced that I was hallucinating. Inside the room, Althea, Wanda, and Carly were acting out a rather PG and fully clothed version of my dream. I think I proved to her that I was really apologetic because I let out a Pietro-like scream and ran away. I never knew someone could scream as girly as Pietro (not even an actual girl) but it turns out that it's easier than one would expect. She finally forgave me. I hope nothing like this ever happens again. In dream state or real life. I don't ever want to make that sound again. Pietro can keep those noises all to himself. Tomorrow I have another wonderful romantic dinner planned. This one will go better, I'm sure of it. I love my life!