Friday, June 18, 1983

I wiped the kitchen counter down and glanced out the window at the girls playing with Star in the backyard. Their laughter drifted inside and made me smile. They'd been bickering earlier so the fact that they were all playing well together was a relief.

The phone rang and, keeping one eye on the girls to make sure their playing didn't suddenly revert to fighting, I answered it.

Heavy breathing came through the line and I held the receiver away from my ear for a moment, a look of disgust on my face at having answered an obscene phone call when I recognized the sounds as being sniffling.

"Hello?" I said again. "Who is this?"

"Beth—it's Donna. Donna Eleese. I didn't know who else to call." Her normally calm, even voice was shaky.

"What's wrong, Donna?" I asked, wondering what was wrong that she would think to contact me.

"Everything's wrong," she sniffed, her voice thick with sorrow.

"Are you hurt?" I pressed. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the airport. In Vegas."

Pulling information out of her was requiring almost as much patience as dealing with Grace when she got incalcitrant. Stifling a sigh, remembering that for whatever reason she'd reached out to me, I tried again.

"Donna, what were you doing there?"

"I was supposed to be getting married." She laughed hollowly. "Jareth decided that instead of a big wedding, it would make more sense for us to sneak off to Vegas and elope. I've been so stressed making plans with my mother and..." She dissolved into tears. "I was relieved when he said that. So I took some time off and we flew to Vegas last night. We were supposed to get married this morning."

My mouth dropped open hearing their impetuous plan. I had the hardest time picturing quiet, organized Donna agreeing to a whirlwind elopement. Apparently, so had she, since she hadn't gone through with it.

"What happened? Is Jareth with you?"

"We got into a huge fight before we finished filling out the paperwork at the chapel. About where we'd go for our first lunch as husband and wife, can you believe it? It's so stupid!" She burst into tears.

I took another look at the girls. Still playing nicely.

"Donna, Al and I get into stupid fights all the time," I tried to console her. "Where's Jareth right now?"

"I don't know! He dropped me off at the airport with my bags and peeled out in the rental car." She sighed. "I gave him the ring back and he threw it out the window as he drove off."

It certainly sounded like things were over between Donna and Jareth. "I'm sorry," I said. It felt incredibly inadequate to be able to do anything to comfort her in this situation. "Did you get a ticket home?"

"I did." She fell silent.

I sensed the question on her mind, that she was trying to figure out how to ask, and was undoubtedly the reason she had called me.

"What time do you land? Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Thank you, Beth!" Donna was sobbing again now. "I'm so embarrassed about this. I just... I couldn't think of anyone to reach out to but you."

My heart went out to her. "What time do you land?" I asked again. She was so emotional she either hadn't heard the question or hadn't realized she had yet to answer it.

"Oh!" I heard rustling as she fumbled for her ticket. "2:30 PM." She listed a regional airline.

"So you'll be landing at Burbank?"

"Yes, I'm so flustered. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, Donna." I considered the timing. "Al won't be home yet, so I'll have the girls with me. Do you mind if I just pick you up outside baggage claim?"

"Of course! I just appreciate you picking me up at all."

"Donna, what are friends for?"

She started crying again. "Thank you, Beth. I mean it. ... Oh, they're announcing my flight's boarding. I've got to go. Thank you again!"

I hung up the phone and sighed. If anyone deserved happiness it was Donna. Her normally serious face would light up when she smiled or laughed. As I thought about it, for being engaged and in love, her face hadn't lit up as often as it should have.

Michele and Bridget were playing Barbie dolls with Theresa and Grace, although Grace's mode of play tended toward shaking her doll and watching the blond hair stick out in all directions while she giggled.

"I will buy all the dresses," Theresa spoke in a clipped high accented voice for her Barbie.

"That will be a hundred eleventy five dollars and twenty-nine cents," said Bridget for her Barbie, while Michele made her Barbie collect the dresses. She paused to stuff them into a sandwich bag as her sisters' dolls made the sale.

I smiled at them from the doorway and then informed them it was time to go.

"We have to pick up Dr. Eleese from the airport, remember?"

"I like Dr. Eleese," Theresa announced, dropping the Barbie to the floor. Before I could correct her, Bridget had picked it up to stow it in the toy box with the other Barbie paraphernalia she and Michele were gathering up without having to be asked. I smiled proudly at them.

"Thank you, girls. Michele, would you let Star out into the backyard, please?"

"I'll do it!" exclaimed Theresa, apparently making up for having dropped the Barbie moments before. She took off, loud footsteps echoing down the stairs followed by barking as Star woke up from his nap in his basket.

Grace insisted on keeping hold of the Barbie in her hands. After a brief argument between her and the twins, I raised my voice to be heard. "You can bring the Barbie just this once, Grace. We have to leave."

"Then I want to bring a toy, too," Bridget informed me, turning to grab a small stuffed hippo from her bed.

"Fine, everyone can bring ONE toy," I relented, more focused on wanting to get out of the door in time to pick up Donna than engaging in a battle of wills over something so frivolous in the grand scheme of things. Fortunately, Michele was swift to select an equally small stuffed dog.

Theresa had just returned from putting Star outside, and pouted, a protest forming on her lips when she saw each of her sisters clutching a toy.

"Go, pick one toy," I said, before she could utter a sound. "Quickly."

She flew up the stairs and we could hear her muttering, "No. No. No."

I was just about to send Michele up after her when Al's car pulled into the driveway.

"Daddy's home early!" proclaimed Grace, yanking the front door open and shouting, "Daddy!" while waving enthusiastically.

Al's grin shifted to confusion as he stepped inside and saw the girls standing waiting as Theresa finally came downstairs clutching a toy panda. "How did you know?" he asked me.

"Know what?" Perplexion creased my face.

"I decided to come home early to surprise you all so we could go see E.T. Phil Lawrence took his kids last weekend and said it was a really good movie."

My face fell. "Oh, honey. I have to pick up Donna Eleese from the airport."

Now he looked confused. "I'm not tracking, Beth."

"She's flying back from Las Vegas—she doesn't have a ride home."

"Why was she in Vegas?"

Nodding towards the girls, I pointed to my ring finger to convey the reason she and Jareth had gone there. "It fell apart," I said.

"I want to see E.T.," announced Bridget.

"Let me and Mommy talk this over a minute," said Al, waving towards the living room. "You girls go have a seat on the sofa."

"Can we watch PBS?" Grace asked.

"Fine. Just PBS though."

Al and I walked to the kitchen. He leaned against the counter. "So they broke up?"

I nodded. "Sounds like they were practically at the altar when it happened." I quickly filled him in on what little Donna had told me. His eyes widened when I got to the part where Jareth threw the ring out of the moving car's window.

"I think she dodged a bullet," he commented. "I was planning on us going to the 3 o'clock showing, but there's no way you'll be back in time."

"I have a feeling she's going to want to talk—why else would she have picked me to call out of all the ladies in her circle of friends?"

"Maybe because you don't go to work?"

I frowned at him.

"At the Project," he quickly amended. "The girls aren't in school and your availability was more likely. And you were going to have them with you... You know, if she does need to talk, them being there would cramp that for sure."

"I don't mind missing the movie. Can you handle all four of them by yourself?"

"Oh, sure, no problem. I'll put Grace and Theresa on either side of me and the twins on the outside."

I kissed him. "You're the best Daddy in the world, you know that?"

"Just the best Daddy?" He winked and kissed me deeper.

"Mmmm, best husband, too."

Al pulled me against him. "Remember that later tonight, okay?"

I pulled up to the curb outside baggage claim and watched the stream of arriving passengers heading outside with their luggage. Several hailed taxis. One or two had a waiting car service. I watched several others cross the street with friends or family as they headed towards parking. Finally, Donna emerged. Her usually sleek dark hair was rumpled, as if she'd run her hands through it multiple times. She had an overnight bag slung over one shoulder and a purse worn crossbody over the lacy white sundress she had on.

Stepping out of Al's car so she could see it was me, I waved. Donna looked over and recognition crossed her face. She hurried over, quickly embracing me.

"Thank you so much, Beth. I wasn't thinking clearly when I called you. I could have grabbed a cab from here." She waved a hand towards the line of cabs.

"Don't be silly," I said. I opened the passenger door and took the overnight bag from her, dropping it inside onto the backseat.

"Where are your girls?" she asked at the sight of the empty interior. It still hadn't registered with her that I was in Al's sportscar.

I waited until she was sitting in the passenger seat and I had pulled out to drive out of the airport before answering her.

"Al's taking them to see E.T. He took off early from work."

A stricken look crossed her face. "Oh, Beth, no! And here you are looking after me."

"It's fine. It's good for the girls to have some time with him without me. It's like a group date with him." I glanced at her. She was fighting tears and looking at her naked ring finger. "Besides, I think you need to talk?"

Donna nodded and started crying again. "But I can't talk to my mother about this. Not yet."

I took one hand off the steering wheel to pat her shoulder. "Do you want to go somewhere to eat and talk or do you want to go to your place?"

"Home, please. I'll order us a pizza. If that's okay with you."

"I love pizza," I smiled.

I'd only been to Donna's a couple of times over the months of our book club's existence, so she had to remind me how to get there. Her car was in the designated parking spot for her apartment; I parked in one of the guest spots.

Donna heaved a huge sigh as she opened the car door and stood still. Her head bowed down, she stared at the toes of her shoes. White patent leather ballet flats. She didn't move, and I walked around to retrieve her overnight bag for her. She startled when I closed the car door. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at me holding the bag for her.

"Let's go inside," I told her, gently nudging her towards the entrance to her building. I threw the bag's strap over my shoulder.

When we reached her door, she reached into her purse for the key. A sharp tinkling sound accompanied her shaking hand inserting the key into the lock. I could tell she was about to dissolve into tears.

"Shh, inside first," I whispered, softly pushing her into her apartment. I took her keys and closed the door.

Donna turned to face me, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I don't know what went wrong," she wailed.

I gave her a sisterly hug and let her weep for a few minutes. She clung to me as she sobbed. I'd never seen her so emotional before. Her barriers were fully dropped.

Finally, I said, "Sit down and I'll make some tea."

She was drained and she simply nodded, waving a limp hand at the kitchen as she said, "Tea's in the cabinet."

Of course there was no way of telling which cabinet she'd meant. A wistful smile crossed my face as I walked into the small galley kitchen and began opening cupboards, searching for the tea. I found the cabinet where she kept her dishes first, and pulled down two mismatched mugs. One had a picture of Albert Einstein sticking his tongue out on it and the other was obviously a promotional item from some sort of professional conference Donna had attended. It took more rummaging before I found the tea. Wanting to get back to her, I opted to fill the cups with water and heat them in her microwave rather than continue searching for a kettle or a hotpot.

"Here we go," I announced, joining her in the living room with a mug in each hand. I noticed that she'd flipped a picture frame on the end table to be face down. I assumed it was a photo of her and Jareth.

Donna giggled despite herself at the Einstein mug and reached for it, commenting, "Shari gave me that one for my birthday last year. It's one of my favorites."

I grinned. "She chose well."

As I sat down on the couch next to her, Donna sighed. "I didn't choose well."

Here was the opening.

"What happened, Donna?" I took a sip of tea and looked at her with an expression I often gave the girls when they weren't forthcoming with an answer. "It wasn't just an argument about lunch."

She stared at the floor. "No, it wasn't." She kicked her flats off, revealing perfectly polished pink toenails. Donna shook her head. "I can't stand the sight of this pedicure now. Jareth insisted on it last night." She pulled her legs up and tucked her feet beneath her.

I couldn't help but thinking of Al's comment that she'd "dodged a bullet" at the way Donna said her fiancé had "insisted on it."

"Didn't you want to be pampered with a manicure and pedicure?" I lightly asked.

Donna scrutinized the matching pink acrylic nails on her fingers and frowned. "I never have the time to waste on this." She shrugged. "There are more important things I could be spending my time on than sitting still while someone scrubs and exfoliates and oils and paints my nails."

"Like what?"

"Thinking about solving some of the telescopic issues, or the radiowave boosters." Donna held her left hand out in front of her and spread her fingers wide. "Instead of a wedding band being added now there's nothing there," she quietly said.

She lifted the mug of tea and held it with both hands, the steam wafting in front of her face. "I don't know, Beth," she said. "I thought I loved him."

"But you didn't," I softly commented.

Donna shook her head. "No, not really." She burst into tears and set the cup down on the end table again so she could cover her face as her shoulders shook. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"He wanted this, I don't know, Stepford Wife, I guess." Donna lifted her head and looked at me. "Like pushing for me to get my nails done. And my hair. Right after breakfast he hurried me to the hotel's salon to get it curled and pinned into an updo." She laughed as she ran a hand through her hair. "As soon as the captain turned off the seat belt slight I went into the airplane's bathroom and pulled it down."

"What else?" I pressed.

Donna sighed. "He expected me to resign from Starbright after we got married. He handed me a resignation letter he'd written for me, like I was supposed to be thrilled by it." She got to her feet and started pacing. "He wanted to elope. It was his idea. I just... I just went along with it because it looked like it would make him so happy, and that's what marriage is supposed to be about, right? Making the other person happy?"

"It's supposed to be about each of you trying to make the other person happy," I answered. "Not just one of you doing it."

Donna stopped pacing and faced me. "Is that how it is for you and Al?"

It was now. As I thought back to the early days of our marriage I had been a lot like Donna, trying to make sure Al was happy. Giving in to his insistence on not wanting children even though I desperately wanted them. It had begun to wear on me, though, and I had threatened to divorce him when he volunteered to go back to Vietnam instead of taking the year home he'd earned. But then he'd been shot down and hadn't come home, and when I'd thought he was dead the grief had been unbearable.

Yes, his return from the prison camps had made both of us aware of how important it was to treasure each other, to do what was necessary to make the other person happy. I smiled as I recalled how it had been Al's suggestion that we start trying to get pregnant. He hadn't even been far into rehabilitation when he'd held my hand and looked into my eyes and said, "I want to have a baby with you."

I met Donna's eyes now and nodded. "Yes," I told her. "It's a two way street, marriage. It's not 50/50, you know. It's me giving one hundred percent and Al giving one hundred percent."

"I don't think Jareth and I ever had that," wept Donna.

"Well, it comes with time. Al and I were each pretty selfish when we first got married," I admitted.

"What changed?"

It was an innocent question, but I bit my lip before answering her. I patted the sofa. "This is something you should sit down for," I said.

Her eyes widened, but she complied.

"The Vietnam War was going on when Al and I got married. I was in the Navy too then, a nurse. We'd been married for six years—separated for most of those years between his deployments and my duty assignments. I think if you did the math we only actually lived together two of those years." I took a bracing sip of tea. "Anyway, as I was saying, we'd been married for six years when, um, when his plane was shot down and he was taken prisoner."

Donna's hands flew to cover her mouth. "I had no idea."

"We don't talk about it a lot. It's not a pleasant subject."

"How long was he held?"

I closed my eyes and breathed in through my nose. "Eight years."

"Beth! How did you do it?"

"One day at a time," I honestly said. I chose not to get into the period of time where I was convinced he had to have died, or the vague memories of supernatural hope imparted from a blurry angel—memories that I could just barely grasp now. "A photograph of him at the end of a line of POWs made it onto the cover of Life. I slept with it every night, praying God would bring him home to me." I smiled at her. "He came home and I vowed to always make sure to put him first."

"And Al?"

"He said it was thinking of me and our love that kept him alive. He promised that if he made it home he'd make sure I was his priority always."

Donna sighed. "That's love."

"And if you and Jareth didn't feel that way about each other, then you did the right thing, Donna." I rested a hand on her knee.

She frowned. "The more I think about it, the more I think he wanted a wife to hang on his arm and be shown off at business dinners and award ceremonies."

"I'm sorry."

Donna smiled at me. "Thank you, Beth." She stretched her back and shook her head.

"You look exhausted," I observed.

"I am." Her face flushed. "I know I promised you pizza, but..."

I held a hand up. "Not another thought. You look like you want to get into bed. I was more concerned about making sure you had supper."

"Thanks, Beth," she said again.

I stood and paused. "Are you going to be okay?"

Donna considered. "I think so."

She hugged me and walked with me to the door.

"If you need anything, or if you need to talk some more, I'm just a phone call away."

"I know. Thank you."

She closed the door behind me almost as soon as I stepped onto the mat outside. I heard her lock it.

I hesitated just a moment, listening to make sure she wasn't unlocking the door again, to step outside and ask for a listening ear again. I hoped she would indeed be okay.