Disclaimer: see first part (also, I am not affiliated with that Queer Eye show or the Backstreet boys. It will make sense later...:)

Author's Note: All of the important stuff in part one. Hahaha...Here's the last part of this crazy story and this has been lots of fun guys! Thank you, thank you for reading and giving feedback!

The Bachelor Party 7/7
by e-dog

A few weeks later...

"Here's to Harm being a real bachelor again," Sturgis lifted his glass.

All of the JAG crew murmured "Here, Here!" and clinked their glasses together. The toast by Sturgis was actually the first verbal confirmation by the group that they were happy to see Renee go. They knew who Harm really belonged to...

Tiner, AJ, Gunny, Harriet and Bud were all sitting around the table, waiting on Mac to come back. She went backstage to prep Harm for his performance. The owner of the club said he didn't mind Harm putting on another show. He was so entertaining to watch the first time, it was worth giving up the stage time for!


Harm looked in the mirror disgusted. He looked at her and whined, "Mac! I look ridiculous!"

"You agreed," she pointed at him. "On my terms."

"But...," he stuttered, looking at himself in the mirror again. "I look like a cross between a Backstreet Boy and one of the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! I can't go out there looking like this!"

"Well, I think you look adorable," she grinned, then playfully gave his figure a once over. He gave her a playful shove in return and she laughed, "Get ready. You have three minutes."

"Maaaacc," he called after, while she walked away. She didn't stop. "Mac! Don't leave! Can't we renegotiate?"

"Renegotiate what?" she turned around, a twinkle in her eye.

"How about the song I'm supposed to sing," he tried. "I'm really not a big fan of...that guy."

"That guy? You're not a fan of one of the most influential people in rock and roll?" Mac asked, acting shocked. "I'm very surprised."

"C'mon, Mac," he whined, almost like a little kid.

"See ya," she winked and left.

He looked in the mirror and groaned again. He found the pair of sunglasses he was to wear and put them on. The terms: wear this ridiculous outfit made for a boy band member. Next, sing a song by Elvis Presley and impersonate him to the best of his ability. Swiveling hips and all. Luckily, she didn't require playing the guitar as well. While he loved to play, Elvis wasn't exactly the music he practiced.

Harm rose an eyebrow, pointed at himself in the mirror and practiced in his best Elvis voice, "Thank you very much!"

Mac returned to the table and sat down. They all looked at her expectantly and she chuckled, "This should be... interesting."

"It better be," AJ chuckled. "I'm missing a good baseball game for this."

Soon, the lights dimmed a little and the crowd erupted into cheers, looking forward to any show the club was willing to put on. The JAG crew also clapped in anticipation, then dropped their jaws as Harm entered the stage. Harm tried to look confident, but he was terrified. He adjusted the sunglasses on his face and approached the mike. The lights suddenly flashed on him, causing him to squint his eyes at the sudden brightness.

Harriet stifled a giggle at Harm's outfit. His hair had been gelled and spiked in a manner that made him look younger than he was. He had on a skin tight, almost transparent black top. His pants were black also, just slightly more baggy. They did a good job of showing off his... posterior. His shoes were also a slick black, polished to perfection. AJ finally released the laughter he was holding in and everyone joined in. He looked extremely comical.

Harm could hear the laughter and suddenly wished he was drunk. At least when he was drunk, he couldn't tell people were laughing at him and not with him. He looked at the DJ to start the music. The DJ winked and smiled. Harm smiled back. The beat played and Harm cracked his neck. If he was going to do this, he might as well try to do it right.

Harm did his best to swivel his hips, slid up to the microphone on the appropriate beat and sang the first verse, "A little less conversation, a little more action please. All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me. A little more bite and a little less bark. A little less fight and a little more spark. Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me. Satisfy me."

Both Mac and Harriet released giggles at Harm's attempts to impersonate Elvis. His movements were just as comical as the night he sang "You Sexy Thing." The difference, he was singing much better. So much better, Mac frowned in suspicion. She always figured Harm could sing, just didn't know he was that good!

He started to clap to the beat, causing the crowd to do the same. He looked like he belonged in a boy band!

"Baby close your eyes and listen to the music. Dig to the summer breeze. It's a groovy night and I can show you how to use it. Come along with me and put your mind at ease. Hey! A little less conversation, a little more action please... "

Harm went into the verse again, gaining steam and confidence. It was amazing how much he sounded like Elvis! The crowd was really getting into it also, surprising the JAG crew. Sturgis laughed and remarked, "Now it looks like he's having a good time!"

"Oh, let him have fun!" Mac laughed back and continued to clap.

"Come on, baby I'm tired of talking," Harm sang, his deep vocals resonating over the crowd. "Grab your coat and let's start walking. Come on, come on! ... Come on, come on! ... Come on, come on! Don't procrastinate, don't articulate. Girl it's getting late, you just sit and wait around!"

"Hey! A little less conversation, a little more action please! All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me! A little more bite and a little less bark! A little less fight and a little more spark! Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me! Satisfy me!"

Harm hopped off the stage, working his way through the crowd. Slapping hands and totally playing the part of "celebrity". All of his friends couldn't help but laugh in amusement. He finally reached their table and grabbed Mac's hand to pull her up, "Come on, baby I'm tired of talking. Grab your coat and let's start walking."

Harm continued to sing, pulling a much more voluntary Mac to the dance floor. Gunny and Tiner shrugged and got up to follow. The dance floor soon crowded around the two of them.

The music and the voice continued to play...without Harm singing! Harm realized he had stopped moving his lips to the words and tried to get back into it, but Mac had already noticed and yelled, "You lip synced the whole song! You cheated! I can't believe you...!"

Harm laughed then covered her mouth with his hand and said, "Mac, a little less conversation, please!"

She narrowed her eyes at him but couldn't help but smirk. Suddenly, he wrapped an arm around her waist, dipped her, brought her back up and smiled mischievously.

"Don't you dare...," Mac warned, before Harm gave her a much more controlled and balanced kiss. A kiss she couldn't help but return. The crowd erupted into another drunken, "Aw!" , just like the other time Harm had pulled this stunt on her. Harriet squeezed Bud's hand tightly in reaction to the kiss, happy for her friends. However, Bud suddenly felt all circulation stop in his hand.

"Uh, honey," he said, tugging on his hand. She didn't let go and Bud said again, "Honey, could you let go!"

AJ took a sip of his beer and remarked jokingly, "I hope that fool knows what he's doing."

"Only fools fall in love, Admiral," Sturgis smiled wider.

Harm pulled back, ending the kiss and this time reveled at the expression that graced her face.

"What was that for?" she asked meekly as he let her go.

He backed away and put his sunglasses on, "Just having a little fun before I get married!"

"Before you get married?" she repeated wearily. He then smiled a wide toothy grin and Mac's face dropped in confusion and worry. "Harm? What does that mean?"

He continued to back away into the crowd, waving goodbye mockingly. His grin couldn't have gotten any wider. She desperately followed him, "Harm! Come back here! What does that mean?"

The End :)

"A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley