Wanda and Fuzzy
Part 1: Sick

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- I don't own Kurt, the X-Men, The Brotherhood, Typhoid Mary, Felicia Hardy or anything else like that, they all belong to Marvel.

Author's Note- This is a spin off to two of my other stories 'The Insey- Winsey Spider-Man' and 'Kitty and the Devil.' It isn't essential that you read them but it may help.

Quote of the day- 'Uh... boogers?'- Starfire (Teen Titans: Mad Mod)

What you need to know- Peter Parker has joined the X-men and began a relationship with Rahne Sinclair, aka Wolfsbane. One of Peter's ex- girlfriends, Felicia Hardy, aka the Black Cat, followed Peter to Bayville and ended up joining the Brotherhood of Mutants, where she became involved with Toad. A jealous Wanda tried to get back at Todd by going on a fake date with Kurt Wagner, only to fall in love with the fuzzy elf. Then Peter's childhood friend, Mary Jane Watson came to Bayville to visit, she then began dating Sam Guthrie, aka Cannonball. Last but not least, Kitty began crushing on a blind student, Matt Murdock, aka Daredevil. No sooner had the two of them gone on their first date then a jealous Typhoid Mary arrived and tried to kill them. Typhoid is now a member of the Brotherhood and is dating Lance Alvers.

With all that crap settled, let's get on with the story...

The Brotherhood Boarding House-

It's a normal, boring morning in the Brotherhood house. Lance, Typhoid and Fred are sat on the sofa watching the TV. Pietro is sat beside them talking on the phone to his Avenger girlfriend Crystal.

'I love you sweety!' The silver-haired speedster coos into the phone.

Back on the sofa, Lance and Typhoid look at each other and mime vomiting.

'I'm sorry sweety.' Pietro continues. 'I have to go now! Bye! Love you! Kiss-kiss!'

'Geez, someone get me a bucket!' Typhoid groans. 'I think I'm gonna hurl!'

Pietro just ignores the psychotic redhead's complaints and walks up to his room to get ready for his date.

Todd and Felicia are sat in the kitchen chatting.


'Yes Toddy?'

'You know we're tight, right?'

'As tight as a... very tight thing!' Felicia replies.

'Don't you think we should take the next step?'

'What again?' Felicia groans. 'We already did it twice last night!'

'We don't have to if you don't wanna!' Todd says.

'It's not that I don't wanna be with you Todd it's just... Aww screw it! Let's go have sex!'

Felicia gets up from her seat and takes Todd's hand, dragging him out of the room.

Back in the living room, the assembled mutants wince as the lightbulb above their heads flickers and the TV screen fizzes with static.

'Wanda in another mood again?' Lance asks.

'I thought she mellowed out when she began dating Wagner.' Fred replies.

Lance, Fred and Typhoid look up as they hear Wanda shuffle down the stairs. She looks terrible. Her face is pale, her eyes are blood-shot and she's clutching a blanket to her chest as if it were a liver preserver.

'You alright Wanda?' Lance asks.

'I've nebber feld bedder.' Wanda sniffs, her blocked nose disrupting her speech.

'You sound sick.' Lance continues. 'You'd better go back to bed!'

'I told you, I'b fine!' Wanda replies. She then sneezes loudly, making a cushion explode.

Typhoid coughs, spitting out feathers.

'Lance's right, maybe you'd better stay in bed.'

Wanda just mumbles as shuffles into the kitchen.

'Where's Todd?' She sniffs.

'Upstairs with Felicia.' Fred replies.

'Habing sex?'

'I guess so.'

Wanda sneezes again, this time Pietro's screams can be heard coming from his room.

'Omigod! My toothbrush just exploded!'

Lance turns to the others and lowers his voice so Wanda can't hear.

'She looks really ill!' He says. 'We've got to get her back to bed!'

'But she won't listen to us, man!' Fred replies.

'There's got to be someone that she'll listen to!' Typhoid adds.

'Wagner!' They simultaneously grin.


Rahne walks up to the phone as it rings.

'Hello, Logan's taxidermy, you snuff 'em we stuff 'em! Oh Freddy, hi! You want Kurt? I'll just go get him!'

A few seconds later, Rahne returns with Kurt beside her. She hands him the phone.

'Vhat can I help you vith Freddy?' Kurt asks. 'Vhat? Vanda's sick? I'll be right over!'

Kurt puts the phone back on the receiver.

'Rahne, you tell ze Professor I've gone over to ze Brotherhood place! Vanda's sick and she von't go to bed!'

'Do ye need any help?' The young Scots girl asks.

'Nein.' Kurt replies. 'Unless you know how to make soup.'

'I'm glad ye asked me that laddie!' Rahne grins. 'Soup just happens tae be my speciality!'

Back at the Brotherhood place-

Fred opens the door as Kurt walks in laden with boxes of tissues and thermos of soup.

'Vhere's Vanda?'

'She's conked out in the kitchen.' Fred replies.

'Excuse me.' Kurt says, making his way through the living room. 'Fuzzy elf vis hot soup coming through!'

Everyone moves out of the way to let Kurt through into the kitchen. When he gets there he sees Wanda slumped on the table. He puts the soup thermos and the tissues on the table and walks up to her.

Wanda looks up from her slumped position and grins half-heartedly at Kurt.

'I've brought soup if you want it?' Kurt says.

'I don'd know why you broughd soup, Kurd.' Wanda sniffs. 'I'b nod ill!'

'Don't give me zat!' Kurt replies. 'You've got a cold and you know it! Now come one, I'm going to get you to bed!'

'You always had a way wid words.' Wanda sniffs, letting Kurt help her up.

Wanda's room-

Wanda is now tucked up warm and tight in her bed.

'I don'd really know why I'm here, Kurd.' Wanda sniffs. 'I'b nod ill!'

'Just eat you soup Vanda!' Kurt sighs. 'It's Rahne's special recipe!'

'Chicken and pasta stars?'


'I subbose that I could try some...' Wanda sighs, tasting some. 'Mmm, dad's nod bad!'

'Rahne'll be pleased zat you liked it!' Kurt replies.

After Wanda has finished her soup, Kurt passes her a plush elf thingie.

'Here's little Kurty!' He grins, tucking the miniature Nightcrawler in beside her.

'Kurd!' Wanda groans. 'I'm nod a child!'

'Don't you want little Kurty to keep you company?' Kurt asks, giving Wanda his patented puppy-dog look.

Wanda just sighs and hugs the Bamf doll closes to her.

As Kurt goes to leave, Wanda takes his hand, preventing him from doing so.

'Kurt, can you sit with me for a while?' Wanda asks.

Kurt takes pity on the sick mutant witch and sits on a chair beside her bed.

'Very well, Liebe.' Kurt replies. 'Vhat about a story?'

Several minutes later-

'And zen Squirry ze squirrel went 'neep, neep, neep' all ze vay home. Ze end!'

Kurt closes the book and looks over at Wanda, she's fast asleep. Kurt smiles sweetly and tucks her in. he bends down and kisses the top of her head. Wanda smiles happily and murmurs something in her sleep.

'No, stay.' She murmurs.

Kurt sighs and lies on the side of her bed. He puts his arm around her shoulders. Wanda shifts in her sleep and cuddles up to her fuzzy boyfriend.

The next morning-

Wanda wakes up feeling as fresh as a daisy. She stretches and notices Kurt snoozing gently beside her. She gently shakes him awake. Kurt lazily opens an eye and yawns slightly.

'Oh sorry Vanda, did I fall asleep?'

Wanda just smiles sweetly and kisses Kurt's cheek.

'Thanks for looking after me last night.'

'Think nuzzing of it, Liebe!' Kurt grins. However, before he can continue, he lets out an almighty sneeze, accidentally teleporting to the other side of the room.

'It looks like it's my turn to look after you now fuzzy!' Wanda says.