Me: Okay here is a short sweet funny story I thought you might enjoy.
One warm and sunny day in Middle Earth, Arwen was walking through Mirkwood Forest. She came upon Legolas, leaning against the base of a tree, busily making arrows. An elf must always have arrows with which to fire. Legolas looked up from his work, despite Arwen having not made a sound.
"Good Day, Lady Arwen! Why are you not with your father?"
"Good Day, Legolas!" Arwen replied, not the least bit disconcerned that he had heard her approach. "I am waiting for Aragorn to come. He promised to meet me here." She answered.
Suddenly, before the two could even think, a dark whirling vortex appeared between a pair of saplings adjacent to them. From it, a horde of screaming adolescent human girls came rushing out, dressed in clothing the likes of which neither elf had seen. In fact, no one in Middle Earth had seen this type of fashion before. The sight was so shocking and sudden that Arwen screamed, and before she could regain composure, ran off deeper into the forest. Legolas, being the trained warrior that he was, and knowing that these strangely dressed girls must be under some sort of spell, decided to outrun them, ran rather than shedding innocent blood.
"What vile sorcery is this?" he exclaimed as he ran. Behind him, form within the vortex itself, came a soft, yet deep voice which could be heard chuckling.
No matter what Legolas did the girls wouldn't stop following him with reckeless abandon. He finally managed to evade them by swiftly climbing up a particularly ancient tree. He came to rest on a large leaf platform, and resumed making arrows, this time with good intention of sinking them into whomever sent these strange young human females. The adolescent girls, baffled at why the elf had vanished, all decided to, rather unknowingly, rest at the base of the very tree in which Legolas sat. The elf, with his keen senses, knew that they were down there, so he dared not make a sound as he worked.
It wasn't long after that, that Aragorn had arrived on horseback at the spot he and Arwen had agreed to meet. He saw the strange vortex, heard the strange chuckling comeing from within it, and saw signs of many feet passing through the area. Fearing for Arwen and possibly other innocent souls with the misfortune of being there, he began to track the strange footprints into the forest. After a while, he came to the group of adolescent girls all crowded around the base of a large tree, and when he peered up, he could barely see a head of flaxen hair among the green of the leaves. The girls had apparently worn themselves out chasing the elf, and were now deep within slumber.
"Legolas, dear friend. What has you up in that tree and those young maidens at the foot?" He inquired as he surveyed the scene. Surprisingly, the girls didn't so much as stir as he spoke.
"I do not know." Legolas replied. "Farther into the wood, a strange vortex appeared between to saplings, and it spewed forth these strange women."
"I saw the vortex of which you speak. You must know it was created by dark magic. Magic that only one person dares perform now that Sauron has been destroyed." Aragorn said.
"You surly do not mean..."
"Then let's be off." Legolas said jumping down from the tree, careful to not wake the girls. He whistled and from the distant wood cam forth a white horse without a saddle. Legolas mounted it and both man and elf rode off towards the ruins of Sauromon's tower within Isengaurd. However, as they were leaving the thundering of the girls suddenly awoke, as if awaking from a spell, and dashed off, screaming after the riders.
When they arrived they saw Isengaurd as they had left it, in ruin. All that remained untouched was the crumbling base of the tower. They approached it with the girls not too far behind.
"Sauromon!" Demanded Legolas as he dismounted. There was no reply so he walked towards the cracked frame that once held the great doors. Peering in, he found Sauromon on the floor doubled over in laughter and a lantiern standing on a podium next to him. In his crooked old hand lay a badly repaired staff. ( If you remember in the book Sauromon's staff gets destroyed.)
"Sauromon!" Legolas said again with even more malice. "Why have you sent forth such a barbarous horde of girls to hound me?"
"You! They were after both of us if my memory serves me, dear friend." Aragorn called as he walked into the sad remains of the room.
"Those girls," Sauron said as he regained his composure, "Are called Fan girls. They are from a time far in the future. They have read of your adventures, which have been penned into books, and have become quite smitten with you my dear elf. All I had to do was come to their time, by means of a rather complex spell, and ask them if they wished to come back here. They were easily convinced."
"Smitten? With me?" The elf looked surprised. "I have no interest in taking a wife yet, and when I do, it shall surely be an elfin maiden".
"Well now, you have a rather large problem on your hands." Sauromon chuckled again. Clearly taking delight in their torture. It was then that, from the door frame, they saw the horde of fangirls nearing the steps.
Me: Well, well, well. That nasty evil wizard is back to his old tricks again.
Legolas: so it was you who sent forth this sorcery! I shall behead you at once!
Me: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, elf boy. Hold those fighting knifes at bay. I will correct this I promise.
Legolas: You better or it will be my bow that will be doing the taking next.