Merry and Pippin had been strolling along the Brandywine River, near their home, when a vortex appeared along the banks.

"What do you suppose that is?" Merry asked.

"I haven't the slightest." Pippin replied.

From the vortex a horde of girls appeared.

"Look Pippin, young women."

"Young human women you mean," Pippin corrected his cousin. "I may be young but I am not foolish."

"Is that so?" Merry said as the girls finally noticed the two and ran after them both. He ran into the nearby Hobbit Hole leaving poor Pippin alone outside. "Then why are you standing out there whilst they approach in a cloud of fury?" He said from the open door window.

Pippin soon realized that he was out in the open all alone.

"Hey let me in!" He demanded, pounding at the door to the Hole as the girls neared him.

Merry, taking pity on Pippin, opened the door to let him in, then the two swiftly shut it and barricaded themselves in.

Legolas approached the scene to find the Hobbit Hole door blocked by at least fifty fan girls. From a distance he could see Frodo making his way toward the Hobbit Hole to pay his cousins a visit. He walked swiftly and silently up to Frodo, careful to not alert the horde of fangirls behind him.

"Frodo, will you help me to banish these fan girls to their own time?"

"Huh? What are fan girls?" He asked confused, and then he looked ahead. "And what are those strangely dressed young women doing all clambering to get in that Hole?"

Legolas sighed and told him everything.

"Oh, alright then." Frodo said rather reluctantly, still a bit perplexed.

By then, the fan girls had noticed Frodo and Legolas talking and began to rampage toward them. Merry and Pippin, upon hearing the silence at the other side of the door, came out and found the Elf and the Hobbit kissing the girls on their cheeks. As each girl received a kiss they disappeared.

"Let's join in, Pip!" Merry said enthusiastically.

"Hey! Leave that pretty one with the blond hair for me!' Pippin cried.

Soon the three Hobbits and Elf had rid the Shire of fan girls.

"I must return to Isengaurd to meat up with Gandalf." Legolas said.

"Well, so long." The Hobbits replied

Meanwhile Aragorn had returned to Minas Tirith to find his beautiful kingdom in peril. 100 or so fan girls were wandering through the cobblestone streets, searching about. Most likely for him. He sighed and dismounted his horse. He charged into battle, lips at the ready. It took him nearly the better part of the day to rid the fair city of fan girls. Once he was sure there were no more, he hastily rode back to Isengaurd.

Both Legolas and Aragorn returned to Isengaurd to find Gandolf and Saromon in the mist of a rather amusing battle. The Plantier had been removed from the tower and was at Gandolf's side. Saromon was crumpled at the foot of the tower steps, his robes in rags his hair messed. Gandolf had his staff pointed at Saromon's chest with one hand, along with Saromon's own badly mended one in the other.

"Please Gandalf, old friend, have pity on me. I was only having a bit of fun." He pleaded raising a hand in a feeble attempt of defense.

"You think destroying the integrity of the lands of Middle Earth amusing?" Gandalf roared.

"Yes. I mean "no", dear friend."

"I am not your friend."

And with that the Great White Wizard cast Saromon back through the crumbling door frame and into his tower with a wave of both staffs.

Legolas and Aragorn, fully satisfied, left for Minas Tirith.

"Now dear Elf, tell me were my wife is. She was with you last, was she not?"

"Oh her, I believe she is in no need of your company." Legolas said.

"What?" It was then that Aragorn had noticed that Legolas had been holding the Plantier.

"Elves can cast their own magic."

As he said this with a rather mischievous grin, a familiar female voice could be heard shouting indignantly all the way from the city of Minas Tirith. Arwen was being chased through the streets by a horde of young men known as fanboys.