DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha… but you already knew that.
By Lara Winner
During the day we're friends. At night we're lovers.
That's the simplest way to explain why I'm quietly opening by bedroom window, my ears straining to hear the slightest noise in the silence. There is no sound other than my own shallow breathing. Mama is asleep and so is Gramps. The coast is clear as I slip through the window and out onto the roof.
I am an expert at climbing down the ivy-covered lattice. But expert or not, I manage to catch my finger on a jagged piece on wood on my way down to the ground. That's a splinter for sure. Sucking on the offending digit, I make my way across the yard and down the Shrine's entrance steps.
He's waiting for me as always, hands in his jean pockets impatiently rocking back on the balls of his sneaker clad feet. Spring has just begun and the night is damp and cool. He's wearing the black hooded sweatshirt I gave him last Christmas. Under the street light his silver hair shines. To anyone on the street he could pass for an idle teenage hanyou. Only I can see the tight reign he's keeping on his leashed desire reflecting in the molten gold of his eyes, and that in itself is deceptively dangerous.
My heart is pounding with nervous excitement as he looks up, finally noticing my approach. He flashes me a slight smile.
My heart does its usual flip and I fall into step beside him as he starts off down the street. We don't speak, I guess there isn't much to say. Sometimes I think if we did talk we'd end up saying too much. It's best not to analyze this thing we have going on. It could mess up the precarious balance we keep between what we want and what we need.
Inuyasha is my best friend.
It's funny really. Most people say guys and girls can't be friends because at some point one will think about the other sexually. To be honest it's true. I've known him all my life. We've been friends for as long as I can remember. And I've been attracted to him since he gave me my first kiss when we were twelve.
My awareness of him started five years ago with an innocent, experimental kiss behind the Goshinbu tree. It seemed logical that he would try it with me. I was the one he tried everything with first. But as we grew up I wished I could share more with him than the memory of one childish kiss.
I got my wish a little over three months ago. I wasn't prepared for it. I hadn't even seen it coming.
Inuyasha and I were sitting on my bed, backs against the headboard and he was bitching to me about his latest failure of a relationship. I teased him as usual, having heard this all before. Then, completely out of the blue, he chuckles and says that he's never had sex before. I was a bit stunned because I assumed he had. I had never asked. I think a part of me didn't want to know.
Looking at me with those amber eyes, he confessed that was the reason Itsuki had dumped him. She told him she wanted someone with experience.
Like a good friend I tried to boost his confidence and gave him the age-old lecture of "she's not good enough for you". Then he surprised me once again by asking me if I had ever done it. Blushing furiously I answered truthfully and said no.
The conversation dropped but it was already too late. He'd brought up the dreaded subject and I couldn't stop the naughty thoughts that filled my head or nervous tingle that wouldn't go away. After all, I was attracted him.
Sometimes I forget that he's a hanyou. He told me once when we were kids that he can tell what I'm feeling by my scent. He knew I was turned on, he could smell it. What I didn't know was that he was turned on too.
He made his move slowly. First his hand came to rest on my knee. I played it off, trying desperately not to notice. Then he leaned his head on my shoulder. Still, nothing he hadn't done a million times before. But my heart was ready to beat its way out of my chest and it only got worse when his hand inched it way higher up my thigh. When his head turned and I felt his lips brush against my collarbone I knew what he was up to.
I could have stopped him. I probably should have. But I didn't.
I did the only thing I could do. I asked why. He stopped for a moment, as if debating his answer, and then said that he didn't want to be a virgin anymore and I was the only one he trusted enough to do this with. He said it would be better to do this with me and have something to remember then to do it with just anybody.
In it's own weird way it made sense. We'd done everything together for the first time so why not this too?
What could I do? I felt wanted, needed and incredibly horny. So I tilted my head to give his mouth better access and I shifted my hips closer to his clawed hand as it slid down the inside of my thigh.
We did it right there on my bed with my family downstairs and the radio playing in the background.
It was only supposed to happen once just so we could get it over with. The next day when I met him and the rest of our group in front of school he acted like nothing had happened. A tiny part of me was hurt but I was mostly relieved. I really didn't want things to change.
But I couldn't stop thinking about the feel of his body. I couldn't sleep in my bed without thinking about him touching me. I guess he was having the same problem too because a few nights later he came over to hangout and I had barely managed to close my bedroom door behind us when he had me pressed against it, kissing me for all he was worth.
I could never could deny him and I didn't even try. We had sex twice more in my room before my mom almost walked in on us. After that close call we decided to find someplace where we could be alone.
He was the one that suggested we go to his house. Since he lives with his older brother who is rarely home and wouldn't care even if he were, we could have our privacy there. According to my mother, I'm not allowed over at his house by myself so I devised the plan to sneak out after everyone was asleep and meet him.
That's what we've been doing for three months and that's what we're doing tonight.
Inuyasha's car is parked at the corner. I climb into the passenger seat and smile to myself as I remember the ride form school he gave Sango and I earlier this afternoon. But now it feels like I'm in a different world. This is Inuyasha and this is his car but it feels so strange when we're alone together at night. It feels forbidden.
I huddle in the seat. My cold fingers are tucked in the sleeves of my sweatshirt as I lean my head against the door and watch the sleeping city pass by outside the window.
I know the route to his house blindfolded. In the middle of a quaint middle class neighborhood, it's nothing spectacular but damn if I don't get butterflies in my stomach as the car stops in the driveway. Inuyasha glances at me out of the corner of his eye, that sly little grin quirking his lips.
We exit the car and I follow him into the house letting him lead me by the hand through the darkness to his bedroom. He left the lamp on in his room and I wince as my eyes adjust to the change in lighting. Behind me I hear the door close and then the soft click as it's locked.
Gods I want him already.
His arms come around me from behind and I'm putty in his hands. Warm lips kiss the sensitive spot just below my ear and then his tongue follows. My body's reaction is swift and to the point. My knees wobble as a rush of heat flares to life between my legs.
Inuyasha has learned to master my body. He knows what makes me sigh, what makes me gasp, what makes me cry out and especially what makes me wet. I am defenseless against such an assault.
I can feel him sucking on my neck, pulling the skin between his teeth and then soothing the sting with his tongue. He'll leave a hickey or two but I don't mind because it helps me to remember that this is real. Not that I could ever imagine the light teasing of his claws as his hands move under my top and over my stomach.
I lean into him, grinding my ass into his bulging crotch eliciting a soft growl from his throat. My arms are looped loosely around his neck and I reach up and begin scratching a furry ear, giggling as it twitches beneath my fingers. I know he likes this. He gets hard for me when I tease them.
Touching and petting, we take our time making it to his bed. He pushes me down and pulls my sweatshirt over my head. I'm not wearing a shirt underneath, just a bra and he smirks. I kick of my shoes and lay back on his bed content to watch as he unzips his sweatshirt and tosses it carelessly on the floor. The white undershirt he's wearing lands on the floor too and I can't help but admire his tone chest.
Inuyasha's been studying martial arts since he was three. He even teaches classes at the youth center three days a week. With all the working out he does he's got the body of a god.
He crawls into the bed but instead of pouncing on me like he usually does, he straddles my hips. I curiously wait to see what he is planning to do. He places a hand on my stomach…
The mattress bounces as he collapses onto his back beside me, both of us panting and completely spent. I can't even think about moving and I don't resist as he pulls me against his side so that I can prop my head on his shoulder. We always end up in this position, not really cuddling but having the comfort of touching.
"You okay?" he asks, his voice breathless and gruff.
It takes everything in me to open my eyes and look at him. "Yeah."
A simple question with a simple answer. Yet nothing about this is simple. We can brush it off and make it look easy and it might seem to be on the surface but on the inside its another story. I can't really say I'm okay. I'm not sure what "okay" means anymore.
Vague questions are the closest we come to asking if things are still fine between us. And we have to ask because it would be so easy to make a mess of all of this. I think the one thing we have on our side is the unspoken rule that what we do in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Once we leave this room the platonic boundaries are back in place and we won't dare to cross them.
It's complicated and yet it's not or maybe it's just plain confusing. Either way I really don't want to ruin basking in the afterglow to think about it. Stifling a yawn, I glance at the digital clock beside his bed. The neon blue numbers say its half past one. I really don't feel like moving to get dressed.
I close my eyes and sigh. "More like exhausted."
I start to sit up but Inuyasha stops me by draping his other arm over my waist. "Keh. Get some sleep and I'll wake you up later."
This is a first. I'm not sure where he's going with this.
"I need to get back." I remind him. "Mama is going to freak if she finds out I'm not home. And you know I don't trust Souta or Kikyo when it comes to ratting me out."
"Three more hours isn't going to make a difference. Chill out and get some sleep."
I can't chill out. This isn't what we usually do. I have to ask. "Why?"
It takes him a second to snap, "'Cuz I'm tired, you're tired and I don't feel like driving you home right now."
He'll pick a fight before he gives me a straight answer. There is something he's not saying but I'm not in the mood to argue to find out. I've got about as much as I'm gonna get out of him tonight and who am I to complain. I am tired and I'm comfortable too.
Even thought its strange it doesn't take me long to fall asleep. True to his word he wakes me a few hours later, lightly kissing my neck and shoulder. It a good thing I was half-asleep or I'd have questioned that too. But it was more important that I find my discarded clothes, get them on and get my ass home.
I was wide-awake by the time he pulled the car to a stop before the shrine gates. We've never kissed goodbye so I reach over and tweak his ear giving him a dry smile. "See you at school."
His reply is a nod of the head and a mumbled "Later."
He waits till I reach the top of the steps before he takes off and I watch his car till I can't see it anymore. As I turn toward the house I shiver. For some reason the night feels colder now than it did before.
The quad is alive with the bustle of lunchtime activity and, if I wasn't so tired, the warm sunlight and the rowdiness of my fellow classmates may have inspired me. But in reality I'm dragging my feet just to make it to steps where my friends are lounging with their lunches.
I've spent the entire morning in this daze. When I get home from school I'm going to snuggle in my bed and sleep the entire weekend. Okay… so that's not gonna happen but it's still a nice thought to get me through the day. I know the minute I'm off the school campus I won't be tired anymore.
Sango is the first to notice my approach. She smiles brightly. "Hey Kagome!"
I get a wicked grin from Miroku as he scoots up next to his girlfriend using my arrival as an excuse. Patting the tight space on the step beside him, he entreats, "Come sit here, hurry!"
With a roll of my eyes I flop down on the other side of Sango and drop my head on her shoulder. "Wake me when lunch is over."
"Don't you sleep at night?" Sango asks innocently.
Inuyasha snickers from where he's sitting across from me nursing his bowl of ramen and I ignore him as best I can. We have no plans to mention our relationsh- whatever the hell is going on between us to our friends but sometimes he does little things like that to remind me and I want to give his ears a good twist. I'm probably blushing.
"Uh... Kagome?" Miroku taps my shoulder. I try to ignore him but I jerk upright as his wayward hand threatens to grab my butt. "You better perk up 'cuz lover boy is lookin' for you."
Lover boy? That would be Kouga… I scan the quad till I spy him. The wolf youkai spots me and smiles.
"What the fuck does he want?" Inuyasha snarls.
"Kagome." Sango and Miroku reply simultaneously both wearing matching smirks.
Inuyasha heaves a disgusted sigh and looks away, turning deaf ear their soft chuckles as Kouga comes up to our group. I wonder what got him so pissy all of a sudden. It's no secret that he doesn't like Kouga much but… maybe I'm reading too much into it.
"Hi Kouga." I say with the brightest smile I can manage. "Come to join us?"
"Nah. Not today. I just wanted to make sure we're still on for tonight?"
I blink stupidly. "Huh?"
"Tonight. We're still going right?"
Tonight is Friday… oh crap!
This time I'm definitely blushing as his words catch the attention of our little group, even Inuyasha. Kouga is making it sound like we're going out or something. He's doing it on purpose. I shift uncomfortably suddenly eager to get rid of him.
"How about I meet you there for seven?"
"It's a date." Kouga laughs as he leans down giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you later sweetheart."
I watched Kouga walk away ready to commit murder. I could already hear the questions being cocked a loaded as my three friends turned into the makings of the Spanish Inquisition. The only thing missing is the torture devices. It's just my luck Sango gets dibs first.
"And when were you going to tell us you have a date with Kouga?"
I shake my head patiently. "It's not a date date. It's a study date. I'm meeting him at library because he asked me to proof read his term-paper before Monday."
"Riiiiight." Inuyasha counters sarcastically. "You expect us to believe that."
"Yeah I do."
"That must be some studying you guys are doing because he just kissed you in front of the whole fucking school!"
"On the cheek!"
"A kiss is a kiss Kagome." He growls. "You don't kiss people for the hell of it."
But you can fuck your best friend for the hell of it, right?
I want to say it so badly that I can taste the words on my tongue but by the hardest I hold it back. His accusation stings. He thinks I'm going to do something with Kouga behind his back. I know Inuyasha and I aren't a couple or anything but I would still have the courtesy to tell him if I wanted to see Kouga in "that" way. I'm not going to play either one for them for a fool.
But apparently Inuyasha's had enough of the conversation because he gathers his things and rises to his feet angrily. "I don't know why I waste my breath."
I jump to my feet equally as livid. "What the hell is your problem?" I ask hotly.
Amber eyes pin me with a withering glare. "Just how goddamn stupid are you? He's using you Kagome and you can't fucking see it 'cuz you are so dead set on ignoring what's right there in front of you."
"Forget it!" he cuts me off, turning away only to take two steps before spinning around and pointing his finger in my face. "Why should I worry about it when you obviously don't give a shit? You'll only do what you want anyway so I'm not saying anything anymore. But I'm warning you now. When he fucks you over I'm gonna be right there to say I told you so. And you better fuckin' believe I'm gonna rub your nose in it!"
Having caught the attention of everyone around us with his yelling, Inuyasha stalks away growling and cursing to himself. Sango and Miroku suddenly find the rest of their lunch much more interesting than the drama unfolding before them. And not for the first time I'm at a loss for words.
A.N. – And thus begins another angsty romance by yours truly. Enjoy!