Put A Smile On

By Shibaryou

Squall, Rinoa and Zell's adventures had taken them far into Balamb that day... No, they weren't going off to fight some evil sorceress or anything like that, they just wanted lunch. A simple, easy and cheap lunch. The Cafeteria was closed due to a rat problem, so students had to fend for themselves one day while an exterminator got rid of the rodents. Not too bad, most students didn't even leave the Garden. They had their own bags of chips, sodas or just called in a pizza.

Not Squall, though, Rinoa wanted him to get some fresh air after being cooped up inside the Garden for weeks, just training or studying. She and Zell decided to look for a restaurant in Balamb, easy enough!

"...What about that one?" Squall asked, barely interested in the restuarant but more of the idea of going back to the garden. He pointed to a fast food restaurant that recently opened.

"McDonalds?" Zell read the sign, "What's with the two golden arches."

"Who cares?" Squall said, "It's a restaurant."

"All right, we'll have lunch here!" Rinoa announced, being the first to walk in the direction of the restaurant. Zell followed her immediately. Squall sighed and followed Zell into the restaurant.

The inside was nice, at the main counter people placed their orders, and off to the side were tables, almost all of them filled with people...

...Smling, happy, people. Squall didn't like that. He never smiled, and hated talkative and cheery people as well. Which, sadly, was what the place was full of.

"Geez... Squall, we're gonna go look for a seat in this place, you order for us, all right?" Rinoa said.

"...Why me-"

"Thanks, dude!" Zell said, he and Rinoa left to find a table in the croweded restaurant.

"..." Squall stood in line and looked at the menu as he waited. He wasn't hungry, but to make Rinoa happy he was willing to eat a cheeseburger. He'll just assume Rinoa and Zell would like "Big Macs" and medium drinks.

"May I take your order?" Said a young woman behind the cash register, she smiled at Squall kindly. He noted her name tag said 'Ashley.'

"...One cheeseburger, two big macs and three medium shakes." Squall said in his usual annoyed tone.

"That will be 25 gil, sir!" Squall gave her the money, "Thank you, and remember, we love to see you smile here at McDonalds!"

"...Sir, you're...not smiling." Ashley pointed out.

"...So?" Squall asked.

"Well, this is McDonalds...Everyone smiles..." Ashley said, the smile never leaving her face.

"...I don't."

"...I see..." Ashley pressed a button on her cash register. An alarm sounded, "WE HAVE A CODE RED! A CUSTOMER THAT WON'T SMILE! BRING IN RONALD!"

"..." Squall sighed, he sensed a large headache approaching, "Just get my damn burgers..."

Out of nowhere, as if by magic, a clown appeared in front of Squall. He wore a yellow jumpsuit with a red and white striped undershirt and pants, showing around his wrists and ankles. Big red shoes, also. His skin was a painted white color, a painted red smile was around his lips. His hair was red, as well.

"...What?" Squall asked.

"Hello, Squall." The clown said, the smile that wasn't painted on his face remained.

"How did you know my name?" Squall asked.

"Squall, don't you want to smile?"

"...No." Squall replied.

"Smiling can be fun!" "...Whatever." Squall replied.

Put a smile on...

Smiling can be fun...

The clown didn't give up, he started to do tricks. His clothing turned into a cowboy outfit, he walked as if riding on a horse.

Squall didn't find this funny, unlike a few of the kids who saw it, he thought it looked stupid.

Ronald's clothing returned to normal, except he wore an artist's cap. An easel magically appeared in front of him, paints appeared in his hands. He painted a smiling face on it. Squall wasn't amused.

Everybody come on!

Put a smile on...

"Sir, please smile. McDonalds is a happy place where people ALWAYS smile... RIGHT!" Ronald faced the customers, they all smiled, nodded and said words of support, a few gave thumbs up. Ronald turned back to Squall, "See?"


"Smile, please." Ronald sounded a little more serious this time. Still, the smile didn't leave his face.


"Don't. Make. Me. Hurt. You. Squall." The clown said, still smiling.

Put a smile on!

Put a smile on!

Squall simply turned to Ashley, "...Is my order ready, yet?"




"..." Squall sighed, lowering his head. Ronald took this as a sign that he was about to show him the biggest smile he could! He did it! He reached him! He turned the depressed anti-social teen into a smiling fool!

Squall raised his head. He wasn't smiling, he looked quite serious.

"...Aren't you going to smi-" Ronald stopped smiling as Squall gave him a powerful right hook to the jaw. The clown flew into a wall, "Ugh!" He fell forward and hit the ground face first.

Put a smile on...

...And the customers rejoiced.

The End.

Don't ask, just don't ask... I was watching TV one day and I saw the McDonalds commercial where Ronald makes the kid who's missing his two front teeth smile, and thought. "...I could just see Squall punching out that clown for trying to make him smile." The idea wouldn't leave my head, so finally, I write this to get it out of my system.

This fic was actually written about a year ago, but I kept from uploading just because I thought it was so stupid... However, someone said they wanted to read it when I mentioned it in my journal so I thought, "What the hell?"

See you next story,