Well. This is just the beginning, and it's not finished yet. So, if anyone can tell me if it's a good enough start or if something isn't clear or needs revising, I'll do so asap. Well, this chapter is somewhat almost finished, either it is, or i can find a place to add more. I hope none are offended by the OOCness. (out of character) Don't worry, if you wanna see more angst, just give me a while and it'll get there. Heh, wrote the 2nd half while waiting for my turn at some line.


A tall blonde haired man sits on his chair, staring at his laptop. He whips out a cigarette and lights it. He hears a running noise, getting louder and louder. It stops with a bang on his door. "Yuki-chan! I know you're in there! Let me in!" Before Yuki can reach his door, the small glossy pink haired boy opens and closes the door. "You know, you should lock your doors, or someone might come in and steal your stuff." Shuichi breathes hard, holding onto a chair.

"If that's all you're here to tell me, then you wasted your time..." Yuki walks over to Shuichi and holds him in his arms.

O.o "Uhhh.. Yuki?.. oh well, it can wait." Shuichi returns his hug and manages to lick Yuki's face. His puppy eyes hypnotizes Yuki for second, and they both stand up.

"So, why are you here?"

"Hmm.. Ok.. well. Every time I see you, physically, you're happy to see me. But when I go home and speak to you either on the phone or by IM you're SO different. It's like... you've got distance to defend yourself from the words you say." Shuichi stares at the floor, tears forming.

"Well, if you stopped acting like an idiot and like a brat most of the time, maybe I'd have less things to complain to you about."

"WHAT?" Shuichi jumps at his criticism. "Even though I was like this for all this time, you didn't seem to mind at all! What made you hate me all of a sudden?" Shuichi shudders, knowing how real it feels. Yuki has always been joking, rudely even, but now, his eyes are cold and are as serious as ever.

"I don't know.. it's something that you do, the way you act, how you say things to me. It's getting too pestering for my taste."

Shuichi gazes blankly at Yuki, trying to hold back his tears. "Why didn't you tell me it actually mattered earlier.."

"Eh.. Well, why did you have to act like so?" Yuki walks towards Shuichi. "It might be better off, if you took some time to settle down. Then, maybe you can be more rational." He pushes Shuichi towards the door.

"Bu-bu-but... I love you Yuki-chan! Don't push me away. Please! I can change!" Tears stream down his soft cheeks.

Yuki's gentle hand wipes away his tears. "Don't cry." He smiles. Shuichi presses his hands against his cheek.

"You love me too, right? You just want me to change a little, right? I can do that for you Yun-chan. Anything for you." He hugs his lover tightly. "It won't take long, I promise!"

After Yuki hears him walk down the hallway sniffing, he slips into his chair, exhausted. He takes out a can of mango juice and slowly sips it away. "Gomen ne, Shu-chan. I don't know if it's possible for either of us..."

10 weeks later

"How can you keep Shu crying like that? What happened to you?" A serious yet fearful gaze appears on the short blonde haired man.

"Shu-chan has to go and forget this. Toham, I can't keep him with me any longer." His insides tesns as he thinks about what he's saying. He does care, he just can't give enough back. He doesn't deserve such kindness and care from Shu-chan.

"Well. If you haven't seen him, he's crying his eyes out over you! He's trying his best to change his ways. For you!" He clenches his fists and slams the table. "Stop torturing him like this!"

"I'm not making him stay. Tell him it's a waste of his time. It's better if he goes." Yuki turns around and walks to the other side of the room. He firmly grabs his chest, right over where his heart lays.

"You're really something. And I thought you were someone special to me too." Tohma turns around, "You know how much you mean to me.. but if you could do this to him, maybe you could do it to me too.. Makes me sort of glad I didn't continue." He grabs the door and disappears, leaving the slamming sound of the door in Yuki's head. He droops his head and heads to lock the door. He steps on a piece of paper. The paper is a light pinkish color. He unfolds it and stares at the writing. There're tearstains and smudges all over the paper. The thing that catches his attention is at the bottom of the letter. It looks like it was splattered with the color red. He starts to read the letter. The handwriting is unfamiliar, but after the first few words, he knew who wrote it.

He won't come back? Make him. Tell him. Please help. Everyday,
he ignores my conversations. He's drifting away. I don't think it's
even possible anymore. Before I sleep every night, I don't see the
light above me. The light I saw was there when he still cared. I saw
it again last night, so I thought you can make him remember me. This
morning I woke up crying. I didn't have a memorable dream, but I could
feel the sadness growing inside of me. I don't know when I can sleep
without having to cry. I need him back. Please help me. I know he
truly cares still deep inside. Thanks. Don't forget to tell him,
sheki. Something I made up and only we know...


Yuki couldn't finish reading it. For some reason, his vision got too blurry to read. He rests his hand under his eyes and feels the warm wet teardrops falling, forming a small puddle in the palm of his hands. The tears were tinted with a bright crimson glow. He looks outside to see the sunset fading into the darkness of the night. "I'm so sorry I couldn't make your wish come true. I'm not sure if it's me you want to spend those precious moments with. Sheki, Shu-chan. Even though you don't see it."