Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with the I-man...wish I did but Alas I don't so I must just borrow.
Summary: Darien is washing his hands clean.
Authors Note: This is a really 'powerful' fic. The idea is from the first line. It was a challenge fic and to tell you thr truth I don't know where the idea came from it just kinda popped up after five miuntes of writing. It doesn't make sense but then again it doesn't have to....So here is the fic that I have promised god knows how many people. Another happy one will be on the way if I get lots of feedback...hint hint lol....Please let me know what you think:) Sorry but it's not betaed....you'll just have to bear through the pain:)
All I had left was despair, blind, empty, and cold, like a whirling dervish of a blizzard in my soul. I raised my hands to my face and I can't get rid of the blood that is stained there. I turn the steaming water on and stick them under the water and feel the water burn the skin. I hiss and grab the soap. The other's think that everything is fine. They don't see me at home. Or when I'm alone. I can't stand the fact that I hurt those people.
They say that it wasn't me. That I didn't hurt them. It was the quicksilver. I wish I could laugh in their faces. They don't understand that under there somewhere is me. I am there and sometimes I enjoy it while under the control. I laugh out loud as my hands turn red like a lobster. Isn't that sick and twisted. I like the pain and horror that i inflect while under the control. The other make it sound like a habit that I can kick. I shake my head.
I will never be rid of this. My soul is close to leaving me completly. And I am willing to let it go with out a fight. I have seen to much to care any more. My brother's death. Nearly raping that girl. The list goes on and on...The few things that are good and make sense in my life have been taken away from me. Adam, Jessica...They were both there for me while others couldn't be and i have no way of thanking them for their help. They are gone to me. I might as well be dead.
I hear the door open but I still haven't cleaned my hands yet. I set back to my task. I can hear my name being called. I rush my cleaning. The bathroom door opens and Bobby walks in.
"Darien? What are you doing?" He asked. I turn on him. He shivers as he sees that I am in complete control.
"Cleaning. Don't you see the blood Hobbes?" I ask showing him my hands. He shakes his head.
"No, Darien I don't." He reaches over and takes my arm. "Come on. Let's go see Claire." I bit back a sob.
"Why does it hurt so much?" I ask as I lean into him. He rubs my back.
"It will get better."
"Ya, Partener. I promise."