TITLE: Intoxicate Me

AUTHOR: Gomey (grissomsgnomeyahoo.com)

ARCHIVE: Anywhere...just let me know so I can brag, j/k

SPOILERS: Butterflied (4-12), Bloodlines (4-23)

RATING: R

TYPE: G/C and G/S friendship (trust me!)

DISCLAIMER: All known characters and premises belong to their respective owners. So there.

NOTES: This is based on the SPOILERS I have read for the season four finale, so it probably WILL be inaccurate grin. Oh, and this will seem S/G - but please, have a little faith in lil' Gomey! Oh criticism is more than welcome, but flames (notably from any S/Gers) will allow nothing but immaturity to lie in this fic's wake. Don't be stupid - be constructive. We are each entitled to our own opinions.

Cheers!

Gomes.

-----------------

Gil Grissom looked up at the strawberry-blond who was pacing his room, obviously upset about the current case. He sighed, his eyes on her form though his ears paying attention to the mumbling in his cell-phone. "Give me ten minutes." He sighed aloud and threw his cell-phone on his desk.

Catherine glanced at him, the clatter gaining her attention - diverting her thoughts from the troubling rape case. "What?" She walked over, sitting on the edge of his desk, her attention generously offered.

Gil shook his head, her name coming out on a tired sigh. "Sara."

Catherine nodded. "She's been ..."

" ... drifting, slipping." Was all he offered. His eyes remained on hers, trying to find an answer to the newest problem that has been unearthed. "I have to spring for bail."

Catherine eyed him incredulously. "Sara?" Her voice was flat, though present with surprise.

Gil nodded. "Cover for me." He left the office, stopping at the door. "... and for her." His eyes pleaded with Catherine who just stared blankly at him.

Blue battled blue and she finally acquiesced, giving him a sad smile. She stared at the open door, wishing he was back with her - his presence was not nearly as fulfilling as she desired, but still managed to appease her restless ache for his being. Envious thoughts incited tears and she nervously tried to blink them away, pride trying to win over her heart. She flopped down in his chair, her body extracting his warmth from the material. "Don't do this to me, Gil ..." She pleaded with his ghostly image, a tear defying her inner-strength.

##
The driver-side door slammed, shaking the car and it's brown-haired passenger. She chanced a glance to her left, where her supervisor sat: eyes straight ahead and hands on the steering-wheel.

"Sara." Disappointment couldn't be masked and he dared not look her way. He clenched his jaw tightly, afraid of voicing his thoughts. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Sara sighed and looked out the window, wishing it was moving scenery that was displayed, and not the bold lettering of the LVPD building. She passed a hand through her hair, and looked at him. "I wasn't ..."

" - Yeah, you weren't!" He interrupted her sternly.

"I'm sorry, Grissom! Look - I didn't have anyone else to call ..."

Grissom sighed and started the car. "Look, I took the rest of the night off, Catherine can handle the lab." He stated, pulling out of the parking lot. "We're going to talk." He shook his head, hating having to deal with such personal issues but he couldn't ignore one of his own.

##
The ride had been silent, tension clung to the Denali's interior. Stopping the car, she glanced at his townhouse then at the empty seat beside her. Her eyes followed his form as he travelled his pathway, and she got out of the car, clutching her handbag.

Gil held the door open for her, and she crept by him, the unmistakable bitter scent of booze tiptoeing after. He shook his head as he tossed his keys on the counter and watched her stand awkwardly in the middle of his kitchen. "Sit." He motioned the round table in passing as he retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge along with two aspirins. He placed them in front of her, and took a seat opposite. "Sara ..."

##
Catherine leaned back against her supervisor's seat. She had just returned from gathering samples, trying to make ends meet on this boggling case. "I don't get it, Nicky - I don't understand why the evidence doesn't support the victim's statement." She all but yelled with defeat.

Nick shrugged. "She wouldn't lie ..."

"I know." Catherine replied curtly. "I'm just ... I'm just really frustrated."

"About the case?"

"About," she stopped herself, her mouth still open. Glancing up at the Texan, she shrugged, "about everything. It's been a long week."

"Say, maybe you can ask Grissom to head home early - I'm sure Sara, Warrick and I can finish up." He offered, his brow furrowing as the names exited his mouth. "Where is Sara, by the way? And Grissom? I haven't seen either -"

" - Grissom had some important matters to attend to and Sara ..." Catherine paused again, envy confronting her heart - she had made a promise. "Sara called in earlier, she's a little under the weather."

Nick shrugged. "Then I guess you're stuck with me." He grinned, winning a fake smile from Catherine.

Thoughts elsewhere, she barely acknowledged his retreat to the lab as fearful demons poisoned her mind with truths and lies she dared not face.

##
They sat in silence, neither willing to look at the other. Finally, Gil spoke up, wanting to comprehend her actions. "I don't understand, Sara." He said, eventually looking at her, taking in her puffy eyes. "Driving drunk?! You could have hurt someone or worse, gotten yourself ..." He tried to keep his emotions in check. "Would you have been able to sleep at night knowing you took someone's life?" His voice dropped to a harsh whisper, knowing that severity was the only way to get through to her.

"Grissom!" She dropped her hands in her lap. "God, don't you think I know that?!" She bit her trembling lip. "One drink became two ... which became four and then ... then I lost count." Tears threatened to surface, stinging her already irritated eyes. "I just wanted to go home - it hurt so much."

He lowered his head, looking at her through his lashes. "What hurts, Sara?"

She glanced at him, chewing on her lip. "You." It was a murmur, but caught none the less.

He sighed aloud, brushing a hand through his peppered hair. "I don't know what to say ... we've discussed this Sara - my answer hasn't changed."

She got up and started pacing his townhouse. "So what am I supposed to do?"

Gil remained seated. "You have to deal with it, Sara." He tried to keep any harsh emotions from escaping. "We all go through this at least once in our life." His eyes followed her until he found her staring at a picture frame on his coffee-table. He swallowed hard, awaiting her next move.

"Since when do you know how I feel?" She asked, her voice jagged.

"For a long time." He answered shyly, knowing that she had deciphered his cryptic message. "Too long."

"So you what, just sealed yourself in your townhouse?" She attacked; the picture frame now in her hands. She held it up, eyebrow raised.

"She's my best friend, Sara. Has been for twenty years." He offered in vain, knowing that his secret was no longer his own.

"And how many of those twenty years have you been in love with her?" She asked boldly.

##
Catherine stared at her cell-phone, a familiar number punched in. Her thumb lingered over the green circular button that would connect her with him. She hesitated and her thumb opted to the red one instead, cutting off all ties as the screen darkened. She sighed, whispering his name into the unresponsive phone.

##
They were sitting side-by-side on the couch, Gil's arms resting on his thighs as he leaned forward as Sara pressed herself completely into the leather couch. "I heard your speech."

"What?"

"Your speech about regretting never taking the new life that was offered to you." She glanced at him, wanting to see his reaction. "So if your answer has remained unchanged, why share that with the doctor, why tell him of your regret?"

Gil turned, facing her. "I never said that I regretted not taking that chance." He stated plainly. "And," he paused, unsure whether or not to let her continue to believe that she had been his 'new life'. He debated mentally until he was interrupted by her voice.

" - and what?"

He shrugged, offering nothing more to say. "I'm sorry, Sara - I really am. But you have to know that turning to alcohol won't solve your problems." He placed a warm hand on her forearm, trying to convey a message of support.

Intentions misinterpreted, her lips quickly found his and she battled to latch on long enough to engrave the feel of his lips in her mind. Arms pushed her back, and his aura retreated from her reach.

Now standing, a safe distance between, he stared at her wide-eyed. "Sara ..." It was drenched in caution.

She folded her arms across her chest, ignoring her childish image. "I can't help the way I feel, Grissom."

He carefully sat down beside her, wanting to get his message through. "And neither can I." He leaned back against the couch. "You're going to have to accept that there will be nothing between us, Sara." He decided to be blunt - knowing that her pain would lessen with time. "You'll have to move on ..."

The tears were building in her voice, "why don't you love me, Grissom?" It was weak, fragile and vulnerable, and it broke his heart.

Taking a deep breath, he looked her in the eye. "I do love you, Sara ... as much as I love Nick, Warrick," he chanced a little humour, "even Greg."

"... and Catherine?" She asked, testing him.

He looked down, contemplating this to be the closure she needed. "You know how I feel about Catherine."

She sat up, inching towards him. "I want you to say it."

##
Catherine closed her locker and leaned against it. The whole shift had finished and still no sign of her supervisor or the troubled youngster. Again, misty clouds entered her mind, forcing her to believe the rumours concocted by her very own devilled fears. She closed her eyes warily, tired of losing to the bold brown-haired girl.

##
"There's not much to tell Sara," he took a deep breath, intent on revealing the truth, "save that I love her with all my heart."

Sara looked down, eyeing his tiled floor. "Oh."

"I feel as if my heart just beats for her, the rhythm is only affected by her presence, and hers alone." Gil shrugged, taking a gander at the clock. "That's all there is to it." He glanced at the younger CSI. "I may not show it, but I worry about you and the rest of the team. You guys are my family, and I would do anything to right any wrongs - but to a realistic extent." He placed his hand atop of hers. "This is your wrong that you will have to right by yourself, Sara."

She nodded, her eyes slowly inching closed.

He pulled her up by her hand. "Bathroom's to the left, and you can sleep in my room - I don't want you to be alone tonight, okay?" He cupped her face amicably, and gave her a little push in the desired direction. He watched the door closed, and he sat down heavily on the couch. He shook his head, hating her to be in such a position where unreciprocated feelings were the only comfort given. He let out a morose chuckle, realizing that he was in the same position she was - except he'd been greeting the heartaches for about two decades. He sighed, wondering if her infatuation would eventually pass. «Just like you promised yours would when she got married?» He countered himself rudely. Kicking off his shoes, he padded to the hall closet and retrieved a spare pillow and blanket. He saw Sara emerge from the bathroom and head straight into his room. Following her, he made sure she was settled into his king size bed and he turned off the light, wishing her pleasant dreams.

##
Catherine sat in her Denali, staring at the dimly lit townhouse. A few moments ago, his bedroom had been encased in darkness, and now only a small light in the kitchen was on. She sighed and made a decisive walk towards the house. Standing in front, she tested the door, finding it unlocked. Worry was present as she stepped in silently, though fear etched her stealth walk to the kitchen. She sighed, finding the object of her affections lying on the familiar couch; blanket covering up to his waist, head pressed deep into the pillow that was supporting him. She stood there, observing, feeding her hungry eyes until her body unconsciously floated towards his form. Kneeling down on the ground, she allowed her hands to feather through is hair, smiling when blues sparkled at her. "Hey."

He embraced her whispered greeting with a genuine smile and brought his hand to cup her cheek - an action that surprised both giver and receiver. "What are you doing here?" He pushed himself up into a seating position.

"I came to ..." She made a face, cursing not being able to concoct a story for her appearance.

"The truth, Catherine." He smiled at her sheepish reaction.

"I came to check up on you guys - how's Sara doing?" It was a handful of truth, with a pinch of fear, and a dusting of fabrication, thus brewing a potion she hoped would fool.

He eyed her warily, a ghost of a grin hiding behind his mastered poker-face. He knew her all too well, even for his own comfort, and decided to play her game. "She's doing better, we talked and stuff."

Her eyebrow shot up. "What 'stuff'?"

Gil shrugged innocently. "Comforting stuff - she was upset with me, we made-out ..."

"You made-out!?" Catherine practically shrieked.

"Made-up, Catherine. I thought I was the one with the hearing problem - you feeling okay?" He feigned concern for her, irking her even more.

Catherine noted the mischief in his eyes. "Fine, you got me." She shoved his legs off the couch and took a seat beside him. "Shmuck." She playfully went to swat his shoulder when he caught her hand.

Drawing her near, until her upper torso was practically resting in his lap, his grip loosened into an affectionate hold. "Why did you come here, Cath?" His was a husky murmur and his eyes bore into her soul, trying to unearth the answer he suspected.

Feeling his breath hit her lips, she exhaled deeply, her eyes unable to tear away from his. His scent was driving her wild and she could no longer fight the need to wrap her arms around him, pulling her body closer to his.

He could feel her hesitate, but his eyes pressed on; seeking the reply he longed to hear, the words that would fulfill his carnal cravings for her. "Tell me, Cath." He coaxed her again.

She opened her mouth, deciding to come clean when a figure in her peripheral vision caught her eye. She turned her head sharply, only to meet chocolate-brown eyes.

"Sorry, I ... I just came to get my bottle of water." Sara picked up her bottle and at the last minute, picked up her hand-bag. "Um," her eyes glanced at the two senior CSIs, caught in a compromising position and she could not ignore the love in her supervisor's eyes; love that wasn't directed at her. "Goodnight." Her voice was vulnerable and she retreated the path taken to a broken heart.

Gil and Catherine exchanged a look. His grip loosened even more, and he placed her hand on his thigh. "Give me a second, okay?"

She nodded and, placing her other hand on his thigh, pushed herself up into a seating position.

He took both her hands in his, "wait here."

It wasn't a plea, it was a demand, an instruction and she complied more than willingly, knowing that relationships would change in the near future. A smile adorned her lips as she scooted over to his prior place, once again drawing warmth and strength from his lingering energy.

##
He opened the door and closed it softly, leaning against it. Spying her in the moonlight, he cleared his throat. "Sara ..."

She sighed, dropping her head to her chest, the empty mini-bottle of rum balancing between her index finger and thumb. "I'm sorry."

He walked over and took the bottle from her, sniffing the contents to identify the substance. "You can't keep doing this." He sat on the edge of the bed. "You're only hurting yourself, Sara."

She shrugged pitifully and looked up, tears greeting her watcher.

"Sara, it's going to be hard ..." he paused, wondering whether to reveal his current position with his heart's love. "Catherine and I ... things are changing between us, and -"

" - I know." She replied softly.

"It's going to be a rough ride for you, Sara, but you have to know that you have friends here that are looking out for you." He offered.

"Even you?" She asked, hopeful.

"Especially me - but as a friend." He wanted her to understand their relationship. "So get some sleep, okay?" He pulled the covers up to her chin and gave her a chaste kiss on her forehead.

##
He walked out, fingering the bottle in his hand. Tossing it in the garbage, he sat down next to the strawberry-blond and gave her a side-ways glance.

"She okay?"

He interpreted sincerity in her voice and gave her a small nod. "She will be."

"We're all here to help her." Catherine stated, winning a smile from Gil. Silence ensued, though it took a comfortable spot between both CSIs. "Jealousy."

Gil swung his head, his eyes meeting hers. "What?"

She let out a small chuckle. "I was jealous. You've been working with her quite a bit and I felt that I was being replaced."

Gil looked at her, surprise caressing his boyish features. "Catherine, even you should know that, whomever works with whomever is not because of favouritism or even drawn straws - it's all based on each CSI's speciality." He paused, remembering his vow to take truth's path and looked at her. "Even the times we worked together - it was because of your skills. Granted we worked more often because we both know that you will, eventually, become supervisor -"

" - Oh no, you are not throwing your case reviews in my direction." She joked sadly, not wanting to accept the fact that one day he would leave them ... that we would eventually leave her. She hated to admit, but he was one of the stronger reasons she showed up to work everyday; he kept her sane throughout her hardships - at home and on the job. "I guess I just miss you ..." She offered, her eyes avoiding his. Catherine the vulnerable was seldom shown, and she felt almost embarrassed to reveal her weaker side, especially to Gil. She wanted him to believe in her strength, in her ability to overcome any obstacle she was faced with. And he did - a fact that she was not yet aware.

Gil sensed there was something more than just work on her mind and decided to play the stakes. He turned to face her on the couch, and was glad when she followed suit. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he gently pushed her on her back, climbing up on top of her. Chests heaved simultaneously as he felt her breasts press against him. His lips eagerly sought hers, confirming the feelings that they had been flitting around for so many years. He inhaled sharply, her scent driving his senses mad. He groaned against her lips, "you intoxicate me, Cath."

She moaned into his embrace, feeling his tongue taste her lips and beg access to her mouth. She invited him in, her tongue exchanging love with his as his hands began to explore her body. She gasped feeling his warm hand against her bare tummy - shirt pushed up, exposing her creamy skin to him. She thrust her pelvis into his, upon feeling his hardness pressed up against her thigh. "Gil ..." She panted, her lips thirsting for his skin. " ... not here." She pushed him away slightly, trying to read his darkened eyes.

Lust consumed his body while love drowned his heart, but he managed to control himself at her demand. Voice gruff, he questioned her halt.

Catherine smiled; a hand caressing his cheek, exchanging mutual feelings of love. "Sara's in the other room and ... why rush?"

Gil dropped his head, leaning it against her chest. "God ... do you know how good you feel?" He asked, humour hugging his words. "But ... whatever you want, Catherine." He paused, settling himself on his side, between the couch and his deity's being. Pressing his head into the crook of her neck, he wrapped an arm around her abdomen, pulling her close. "You are the reason I breathe, Cath. The reason I get up each morning and the reason why I want to make a difference in this world. Without you, this world wouldn't be worth it." He confessed to her, his hold on her tightening as he uttered cherishing words.

Catherine bent down slightly, placing an angelic kiss upon his forehead. "I love you too, Gil. Too long to count, but it grows stronger each day." Slumber tugged at her eyes, and she felt herself give in, dreaming of security, happiness and the man close by.

##
Gil's eyes fluttered open, the evening sun still watching over them through his open window. Knowing that work was but a few hours away, he buried himself deeper in his lover's embrace. He sighed happily, feeling her hands rub lazy circles on his back, and enjoyed feeling her energy transfer to him. He glanced up at her, offering a shy smile. When he received the response desired, he reached up, seeking her lips once more. Her taste, though branded in his brain, did not satisfy his mouth's fierce hunger for her, and he brought his carnal desire out by sensually attacking her neck and shoulder, dusting them with kisses and nips.

They both turned upon hearing a creak in the floor, looking at the younger CSI. "Sara." Catherine smiled at her, uneasily - unsure of the reaction.

Sara hesitated and then headed towards the door.

Gil glanced at Catherine, gave her a peck on the lips and pushed himself off the couch. He followed Sara to the door.

Catherine hugged herself, missing the warmth that had flooded her body when his presence was near. She smiled, recalling how his body moulded perfectly to hers, how she hadn't slept that soundly in years. She just ... smiled.

"Feeling better?" He watched her take out her cell and call a taxi.

She nodded, giving the coordinates and then turned to face her supervisor, and unobtainable dream. "I will be - don't have a choice." She smiled morosely.

"You have a choice, Sara - you can either go on, letting this eat you up alive ... or you can move on. It's going to be hard, but know that you'll make someone happy, Sara. One day, you'll be happy too."

They stood there in silence, her thoughts on him and his on the strawberry-blond occupying his couch. Finally Sara broke the deafening thoughts. "Are you happy, Grissom?"

Gil's smile was pure and he was unable to curb the his beam. "Yeah - more than I've ever been in my life."

She sighed, dropping her head slightly. "I guess that's it, huh?" She said, as she observed the taxi pull up in front of the house.

"Be brave, Sara." He guided her outside, giving her forearm a squeeze. "I'll see you at work, tonight, okay?"

She nodded, and turned, sliding her shades on. "Thank you, Grissom. For more than you'll ever know." She glanced back at the townhouse one last time, and stepped into the taxi - heading to face a new obstacle in her life: acceptance.

–Finis–