a fic by Josie G. Evans
chapter five: Pimps and money
James turned around at the mention of his name, he wildly looked around. He didn't hear it again and so he continued on his way. He had figured that he'd spend a couple of days in this strange dimension that so resembled his own. As hard as he tried, he couldn't figure out a plan of action that could bring him and Lily back home. Since he had landed on her, upon arriving, he hadn't been able to find her anywhere, not even the library.
Just then someone slung their arm around his shoulder. "Hey Jamesie, haven't seen you all day, where you been hiding cat?" asked Severus Snape.
James looked at him with disgust. How dare he! Act as if they were the best of friends, it was preposterous. He shot him and evil glare, "Let go of me Snape!" he threatened.
"Whoa Jamesie! What's wrong mate?"
"Don't call me Jamesie you git! I'll blast you to last Friday! What the hell is wrong with you? And why are you wearing fucking eyeglasses?"
"My eyesight's never been good, you know that. So you up for a game of checkers?"
"Checkers? Only geeks play with checkers. I'm not your bloody friend, we hate each other. Listen Snape, I really don't have time for your strange fucked up behaviour..." he was in the middle of saying when, once more, he remembered what Remus had told him about parallel universes. Could it be that it was the same for people? He wouldn't want to meet himself then, but wait! If Snape was talking to him, that must mean that he had mistaken him for the other James, which meant that he, James Potter, was best friend to his worst enemy! No, no, no! This couldn't happen, not to him. All around great guy, popular, quidditch star, god to ladies, a good student, prankster extra ordinaire!
Remus and Sirius stood on the spot, looking at where James had been only minutes ago. Remus couldn't help but hope that Sirius had done the spell right, or in this case wrong, or would it be the wrong spell- right? These questions were so confusing that Remus couldn't find head or tail in all of them.
"Well, I guess it worked." said Sirius to his right.
"Looks like you finally did it right Padfoot. Let's..." Remus trailed off as he looked at the place where James had been. A faint purple shadow was forming in the spot, gradually gaining a form. He could detect a head and a body, arms and legs; then a face and fingers, and finally a pair of round glasses and messy jet black hair. There was no mistaking it, James was back!
"James?" asked Remus.
"Hey mate! Your back, didn't think it would be that quick, I mean you've only been gone for less than five minutes." said Sirius, in his usual cheerful state.
"Wait, did it work? Or did you just comeback without doing anything? Where's Lily?" asked Remus.
The colour in James's face flushed as he stood rooted to the spot, a look of horror on his face.
Lily wildly kicked the oaf of a guy carrying her. Where was he taking her? She needed help and quick.
Sirius rounded the corner, he was wearing very expensive silk robes and smoking a cigar. He had rings on all of his fingers and a woman on each arm.
'What the hell?' Lilly thought. If there was one thing Lily knew about Sirius, is that he'd always wanted to be a pimp, but had never wanted other people to know he was dating more than one girl at a time, even if some people were suspicious. He also hated to show off his money and would usually buy the simplest of robes.
Sirius was about to keep going when he suddenly noticed Lily kicking and flaying on the giant man's shoulder.
"Oy! You sir, put the lady down." he said in a strange accent.
"You talking to me?" asked the oaf guy.
"Yes you, you incredulous big oaf, I'll give you 10 pounds for the lady."
"Oh boy, oh boy, 10 pound." the big oaf said excitedly. "Peter's birthday is coming up soon, I'll finally have enough to buy him that pink blankie he's wanted for ever. Here you go." he said dropping Lily in Sirius's arms. He momentarily lost his balance at the sudden weight, he hadn't been expecting the man to put her in his arms.
"Very well, go about your business good sir." he told him.
He put Lily down. She tried talking but seeing as the oaf man had put a silencing charm on her, all she could do was wave her hands dramatically in the air.
"I do believe she's trying to tell us something." Sirius said.
'And the award for the idiot of the year goes to: Sirius Black.' she silently thought.
He puffed a huge cloud smoke in her face and she coughed. He muttered a spell under his breath.
"You bloody idiot!" Lily yelled, she had her voice back. "I mean, thanks. No wait, 10 pounds? That's all I'm worth? Either your really cheep or you think I'm some kind of whore."
"Do you mind?" he asked harshly the girls on his arms. "Not at all Si dear, we'll see you later."
He nodded looking annoyed. Lily had never seen him act or talk that way to girls before.
"Listen sugar cake, we can take this somewhere else, more privet."
"Whoa! Are you implying what I think you are? You bloody pervert, are you actually hitting on me?"
He pulled out a beautiful diamond necklace from his pocket. "There's a little reward in it for you."
"Excuse me?" she asked baffled, "I'm not some whore!" she replied.
"What ever. Listen this is worth 2 349 pounds, take it or leave it."
2 349 pounds? She had never seen all that money at once. But wait, what was wrong with Sirius?
Then she remembered Peter's behaviour. "Ok, your prank has gone to far Black, it isn't funny anymore, actually it never was. First you make James polite and then Remus crazy, Peter a pervert and now you're a...a bloody pimp? Where did you get the girls?" she asked distractedly. "Do they have hot men as well? No wait! Sirius you better undo all of this or I'll totally kick your ass! I mean you even have your sister involved in this"
"I don't know what your talking about. I'll have my eye on your then." he said as he left, strutting with the two girls suddenly on his arms.
This was two weird, she needed time to think. She walked away heading for her dorm.
Lily silently walked towards the library, a million questions popping into her head at once. Who had been that charming boy that had fell on her? And he had actually helped her pick her tings up. No one ever noticed her before and she had grown accustomed to being alone all the time. She wished with all the fibbers of her body, that she could at least make a friend. She didn't particularly enjoy being alone all the time.
It did give her more time to do things she loved, but it wasn't as if she had the best grades. She was actually falling two of her classes.
She went to the back of the library, searching for the last bookshelf where no student ever bothered to go looking for a book. It was full of boring subjects like werewolves, man eating plants, horror and thriller stories and what not. People these days were mostly interested in herbology and arithmasy.
She sat down and opened her notepad and took out a pen. She was about to scribble an idea that had been lingering in her head all day when her hand suddenly grew fussy and next thing she knew, she was slowly disappearing.
Lily landed on the hard ground. She looked around her and noticed that she seemed to be in a kind of closet. She opened the door and found herself in a circular room with many other doors like the one she had just came out of.
"Lily? Oh thank god your alright! I didn't know what I was going to tell Dumbledore." ranted professor Page.
End of chapter five