Paranoid, Schizophrenic, Homicidal, Suicidal Maniac

Dude like one time I was jumping like crazy whenever anyone would come near me. And like this one dude asked me "Are you like Paranoid or something?" I turned slowly to him and replied, "Do you know what happens to a Paranoid Maniac?" He just looked at me.

I continued, "When a Paranoid Maniac becomes really Paranoid they end up becoming Schizophrenic. Do you know what happens to a Paranoid Schizophrenic? They become Homicidal. Do you know what happens to a Paranoid, Schizophrenic, Homicidal Maniac? They end up Suicidal. Do you know what happens to a Paranoid, Schizophrenic, Homicidal, Suicidal Maniac? They stare blankly at the wall for hours on end. Do you know why a Paranoid, Schizophrenic, Homicidal, Suicidal Maniac stares at a wall for hours on end? Because they are heavily sedated. Do you want to know why the Maniac is heavily sedated? Because they are a Paranoid, Schizophrenic, Homicidal, Suicidal Maniac."

Now by the time I had finished the dude was staring at me with amazement. "So you are telling me you are a Paranoid, Schizophrenic, Homicidal, Suicidal Maniac, is that right?" He asked slowly.

I nodded my head happily. Finally somebody got it! He slowly began to back away. I glared at him as my hand slipped behind my back. "I have told you my secret," I whispered, "Now you have to die!" I exclaimed as I pulled out a knife and stabbed him to death.

Nobody has ever found the body, nobody knows what happened to poor old Billy, but I know. I killed him. In fact no one knows I'm a Paranoid, Schizophrenic, Homicidal, Suicidal Mania, for that I am content.

Now a note to all who have dared to read this letter. Beware you know my secret, now I will come for you, and I will silence you…forever. So when you see a dark shadow outside your windows just remember it just might be Johnny the Paranoid, Schizophrenic, Homicidal, Suicidal Maniac…and I am coming for you.