Don't you hit him! Don't you lay one finger on him!



"Oi, Keiko!"

Yusuke and Keiko had been strolling through the park peacefully when Yusuke, being the ass he is, took the opportunity to cup a rather sensitive part of Keiko's anatomy.

"Keep your hands to yourself, Yusuke Urameshi!"

He's supposed to touch you! You're his girlfriend, baka-brain!!

Botan had just finished her daily task of soul gathering so she decided to cruise through the night air for a little while. She had been passing over the park area when she caught the sound of an all-too-familiar giggle.

So, being the nosey kitten that she is, Botan decided to investigate only to find the one person who could truly make her blood boil.


She was walking with Yusuke, of course, making sure to put a respectable distance between herself and his wandering hands. Being careful to suppress her ki (1) so that Yusuke couldn't sense her, she lowered herself so that she was right behind them.

They had stopped walking and Keiko now stood in front of Yusuke with her hands on her hips in agitation. Yusuke stood there looking at her dejectedly, a hand pressed to his sore, reddened face.

"It's not fair, Keiko! Why can't I touch you?" he screeched.

"Because I don't want you to, you lecherous butt-head!" she shrieked.

"Isn't that what I'm s'posed to do?" he asked her irritably. Keiko's eye twitched.

"No, you fool! You're not s'posed to constantly grope and paw at me!" she shouted. Yusuke's face fell in dismay. Botan frowned.

You can grope and paw at me, Yusuke. I've got more to grab at anyway!

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because it's inappropriate!" she snapped causing Botan's anger to flare suddenly. She gripped her oar so tightly her knuckles looked about ready to burst.

"What's inappropriate about it? We're boyfriend and girlfriend," said Yusuke reaching to touch her hand.

"That doesn't matter! We're still in public! You never know who's watching!" snapped Keiko snatching her hand away and cradling it as if it had gotten burned. Yusuke's jaw tightened and his temper finally surfaced.

"Who gives a flyin' fuck?! I bloody well don't!" he snapped. Botan smiled.

Yay, Yusuke! You don't have to take it!

Keiko's eyes darkened as her senses flooded with anger. She stepped up to him and pointed a manicured finger in his face.

"Don't you dare curse at me, Yusuke! You don't scare me!" she threatened.

Get your finger out of his face!!

Yusuke looked down at her finger causing himself to go cross-eyed. Then he grasped her wrist and shoved her hand to her chest.

"Keep your finger out of my face, Keiko. I'll fuckin' curse when I fuckin' feel like it," he snapped through clenched teeth.

A world wind of emotions passed through Keiko as her facial expression changed several times. First, shock, then hurt, and finally anger.

She growled then shoved him, causing him to stumble a few feet.

"You're an ass, Yusuke!" she shouted before turning around and stomping off.

"At least I've got an ass!" he shouted after her.

She turned around fully and began skipping backwards, giving him the finger with both hands.

"Fuck you, Yusuke! FUCK YOU!!" she shouted before turning back around and running off, no doubt in tears.

Yusuke watched her hurry off and sighed. He hung his head and began to shake it slowly.

"She's always hitting you."

Yusuke jumped in surprise and his head snapped up to see Botan hovering next to him.

"What the hell?! What are you doing here, Botan?!" he exclaimed clutching at his heart through his jacket. Botan didn't answer him, though. She sat there glaring after Keiko even after she had disappeared down the path.

"Why do you allow her to hit you?" she asked quietly while still glowering down the path. Yusuke straightened and shoved his hands into his pockets. He studied her warily before shrugging.

"It's what girls normally do, I guess," he answered. Botan looked at him.

"I don't do that," she said. Yusuke smiled charmingly at her.

"You're not a normal girl," he responded. Botan scowled.

"So? I'm a girl nonetheless. And I've been around for over three hundred years. I think I would know how a normal girl acts," she responded flatly.

He shrugged his shoulders and turned his gaze to the path that Botan had been peering down only moments before.

"Whatever you say, Botan. Whatever you say," he mumbled.

"Have you ever hit her back?" she asked quietly. Yusuke turned back to her in evident confusion.

"What?! No way! I never hit women. Not unless they're evil, that is," he said winking at her. Botan frowned.

Keiko is evil.

As if reading her thoughts, Yusuke placed a hand on Botan's shoulder and let a hearty laugh erupt from his throat. Botan smiled at the sight of him smiling.

"She's not so bad, Botan. Trust me. Keiko and I... we have our moments. We argue for the most part, but, we have our moments," he told her.

"But you can't live off of 'moments', Yusuke. Everyone wants to be happy," she said quietly.

"She does make me happy, Botan," Yusuke said while looking at her confusedly. Silence spilled between the two and Botan found that she could no longer look at him. She cleared her throat and shifted her gaze to the ground.

"I-I've got to be going, Yusuke. I really should get some rest in," she said.

"Yeah, I've got school in the morning," he sighed looking at his wristwatch. Botan finally looked up at him and produced a false smile.

"I hope you and Keiko work out your problems, Yusuke," she said sweetly. Yusuke smirked.

"Don't worry about me, Botan. It's not like I'm an abuse case or anything. Hell, I've fought demons hella' stronger than Keiko. If I can survive them, I'll survive her," he said. Botan nodded.

Botan hesitated for a moment before she lowered herself a little more and wrapped her arms around Yusuke's midriff. Yusuke smiled to himself and returned her embrace. As she pulled back, Yusuke turned his face and allowed his lips to gently graze across her cheek.

"You're so sweet, Botan. You always worry about me," he whispered. Botan smiled nervously at him as she felt a blush creep up on her face.

"Hai, it's my job," she laughed. Yusuke grinned and shook his head.

"Goodnight, Botan," he said. Botan began to will her oar into the dark sky.

"Goodnight, Yusuke," she said. She gave him a friendly wave accompanied by a genuine smile. Then she turned and began to fly towards Rekai. She bit her lip and turned her head to see Yusuke still standing there watching her drift off. She sighed and shook her head.

She doesn't deserve you, Yusuke.


AN: (1) I don't know if Botan can really do that... just use your imagination, people! It's no fun when you pout!