Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.

Reaka: Hello everybody! I bet everybody's figured out what I'm up to already. I'm making a Harry and Dumbledore slash spoof. I'm using all of my suggestions for this until I lead to the very scary climax. So, if you've ever wondered what's worse than Harry and Dumbledore, now's your chance to find out. Don't you feel special? Without further ado, or my pointless rambling, it shall be done!

What's Worse than a Harry and Dumbledore Romance?

Harry couldn't wait to tell Ron and Hermione the big news. He had become pregnant with Dumbledore's child during last night's escapade. The memory of that night was filling up his mind, and he smiled. Seeing Dumbledore shirtless, the pale, white skin underneath the robes. Those large nipples, that look like Milk Duds. The tight abs, and that large, wrinkly...(A/N: Stopping now! I think I'm going to puke if I go any further! I don't think I'm alone when I say my eyes are burning either!).

Along the way, he found George walking alone, and playing with, what looked like, a rubber duck. Once George saw him, he put the duck away and waved to him.

"Hi George! How are you today?"

"Oh I'm fine, thanks. Say, is it true you and Dumbledore've been doing the nasty lately?"

"Yes, we have. Dumbledong and I've been so hot and horny this past week, that he got me pregnant."

George's face was that of disgust.

"If you never mention that again, Harry, our lives will be so much better, and our friendship will last."

"Oh, go fuck yourself George."

"Why do that when I have a twin?"

With that said, George walked away, possibly to find his counterpart, Fred.

Harry walked down the hall even more. Unfortunately, Snape was around. He was looking nervous that Harry was walking his way.

"What are you doing here, Potter?"

"Just going back to Gryffindor Tower, Proffesor. What are you doing here? Or better yet, who?"

"It's none of your concern who or what I do here! Now go away! Why don't you go and get some from Dumbledore again? If you were going to be gay, why'd you have to go after the old ones?"

Nearly Headless Nick came by and smiled when he saw Harry and Snape. He then floated down and kissed Snape on the cheek.

"Ready to go, Seviness?"

"Oh, yes, my Nearly Headless Wonder. Let's go!"

The two of them walked away smiling.

"Better old than dead, Proffesor!" Harry called after them. " Nacropheliac."

Harry finally made it to Gryffindor Tower. He said the password, Sexy, then walked in. Ron and Hermione were in there looking at a Backstreet Boys magazine trying to decide which one was hotter, Nick or Brian.

"Ron, Hermione, guess what?"

"Dumbledore made you pregnant with his child?" Ron asked jokingly.

"Yes! How did you know?"

Ron and Hermione stopped, botched the magazine, and looked at him. Hermione looked as though she was about to puke. Ron just stared in amazement wondering how it was physically possible to get a man pregnant.

"Why are you guys staring at me like that?" Harry asked.

"Because Harry," Hermione said, "you kind of went with Dumbledore, and you screwed him, now you're pregnant with his child. If you ask me, it's gross."

"How did he get you pregnant?" Ron said. "You're both men."

"Well, Ron," Harry said, "when two people love each other, they tend to..."

"Stop Harry! Now!" Hermione said. "I really don't want to hear it! Does Dumbledore even know about this?"

Harry thought for a moment, then his eyes got wide.

"No! He doesn't know! I must go tell him!"

Harry ran out of the Common Room and into the hall. Just before he reached Dumbledore's office, he ran right into Hagrid. Hagrid turned around. There was a weird smile on his face, and it scared Harry.

"Hi ya! Harry!"

"Hi Hagrid. What're you doing here?"

"Oh, Mr. Filch said he wanted to show me something. Look! There he is!"

Filch came by wearing only boxers and nipple tassles. He started waving his body around so that the tassles would start spinning on his nipples.

"Oh yes," Hagrid said, "give me more! Give me more!"

Filch started to dance like a stripper. Hagrid was drooling. Then Hagrid ripped off his own shirt, showing his own nipple tassles. The two of them became engrossed in an exotic dance. Just as they were about to kiss, Harry said the password to the gargoyle, nipples, and ran in.

"Proffessor Dumbledore! Proffessor Dumbledore! I have something important to tell you! I'm going to have..."

He didn't finish the sentence. Because Dumbledore was in a thong, and he was making out with...Tinky Winky. (A/N: AHHHH! Telletubbies! Shudder.).

Harry left the tower, crying.