Possibilities in Death
FFX - Auron
Summary: A dead man is capable of more than is commonly thought.
It is possible for a dead man to dream.
We dream, and we watch the living. Sometimes, I crave the feeling of my sword in hand and being two steps between a Summoner. Two promises have always bound me - Life and Death, this world and the next. I would suppose I take my vigils now out of habit.
How odd to be thought of as the consummate Guardian, especially with the blasphemies I've both committed and abetted. Braska scandalized his peers by marrying Al Bhed and taking up the Pilgrimage as a young father. Jecht was a drunkard and a madman, claiming to be from a city of the dead. He'd curse in a temple, tell the rudest jokes imaginable, and fight like a demon if there was any threat to Braska, heedless of his own safety.
Losing them both to that terrible lie killed me as surely as Yunalesca's counterattack. It took many days - that first death. The only thing that kept me going was knowing the inevitability of Sin's return. Someone had to tell the truth. Someone had to avenge those who died for the lie.
It is possible for a dead man to keep his word.
I wasn't the one who had something to live for after all. I wasn't sending messages in the spheres. They were - Braska and Jecht. My last living thought was of Jecht's final request.
Take care of my kid…
Yes, children. Braska had a little girl and Jecht always babbled about his "crybaby" of a son, left behind. I would have to protect them the way I failed to protect their fathers.
And so, I remained - unsent. With Jecht's aid, I became just another dream. Together, we gave Yevon such an unholy nightmare that I was able to pull Tidus out and leave.
It took a lot out of me. I had only just recovered when I went to Luca. I knew I would find Tidus there. Jecht could hardly resist the blitzball tournament. He begged Braska to hold off until he saw the final match. I still remember sitting in the back of them as he chattered to Braska about obscure aspects of what I believed to be nothing more than a silly game.
By the oddest of coincidence, or maybe the doings of some mad deity (it certainly wasn't Yevon), I found them together. My stilled heart sank when I saw the staff in Yuna's hand. She was a Summoner, just like her father. I wouldn't be able to protect her from herself. She had too much of Braska's blood in her and the stubbornness of an Al Behd on top of that.
Tidus wasn't her Guardian - yet. The others thought he was little more than a ranting madman claiming to be from the dead city. How…familiar. In matters from blitzball to blasphemy, Tidus didn't match Jecht's raw power, but certainly made up for it in sheer creativity and agility.
I pledged my services as a Guardian and "volunteered" Tidus for it, too. What else could I do?
It is possible for a dead man to love.
We later took in Rikku, an Al Bhed girl - Braska's niece by marriage. A third child to guard. Wakka, Kihmari, Lulu, and I had lived long enough to carry a story, but they were not the ones marching to our deaths. I'd been reluctant to take her along, but she proved herself, despite her fear of thunder. The Church of Yevon turned its back on us and proved a lie, but Rikku proved critical in getting aid from the Al Bhed. Even in the gloomiest of times, she carried the light.
It is possible for a dead man to feel pain, because I felt it as the ruins of Zanarkand appeared on the horizon. I saw the last of Tidus's hopes dashed the way Jecht's had been. I saw Rikku run forward to stop Yuna from walking to her fate, tears in her green eyes, and my own eyes started to sting. When Yuna decided to go forward, I once more knew grief.
It is also possible for a dead man to feel rage. Yunaleska's lie cost my friends their lives. It gave my world a false hope so the high priests of Yevon could continue their corrupt existence. It cost me my own life and chance at rest. I remember sputtering some things that were either prayers or curses, Braska steadying my sword and Jecht's rage boosting my strength. In the end, I cast the final blow that sent her to the darkest corner of the Farplane.
She would NOT have the children!
Ah, but they are not children anymore, I suppose. Along the way, they grew up. We destroyed Sin for good, but paid terrible prices for it - in lives, in faith, in dreams. Yevon's faith was dead and the people were lost. And while I was able to rest at last, Tidus faded as nothing more than a dream.
And as I watch Yuna from the Farplane, seeing her stand on Besaid Docks and whistling at the sea, I keep my vigil and watch for any sign of Tidus with her.
Because it is possible for a dead man to feel hope.