Rating: PG-13

Spoilers : none

Disclaimer : I DON'T OWN THESE PEOPLE. I just really, really love them and am borrowing them. I don't own Stargate, this lot do- Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. And I'm making no money. At all…

Author's Notes : Don't ask, there are all of 589 words to this, just wrote it one night last week watching tv. Enjoy. In fact thinking about it this is rubbish.

obsession : http:grace.modblog.com

Carters Underwear

Jack's words had been "No Sir, there's nothing going on between me and Carter" while his thoughts had been somewhere in the region of Sam's underwear and their colour. While thinking about her underwear seemed an odd thing to do while trying to convince her dad that there was nothing going on, it was a standard subject for him. Thoughts about Sam's underwear and sometimes lack of, got him through some awkward situation and conversation. Usually a conversation like this would have him stammering like a dozy adolescent. And thoughts about Sam's underwear would have him daydreaming furiously like a dozy adolescent. He's realised about six months ago that combined he could act quite normally, even coherently.

However he usually wouldn't call Jacob sir, he assumed it was because he was afraid he would be killed and probably tortured if Jacob actually knew the truth, he couldn't bare to think about what would happen if he knew how much time he spent thinking about Sam's underwear.

"Nothing at all?" Jacob asked.

"I'm still part of the SGC Jake" Jack said, trying to act a little more casual.

It wasn't Jack's place to tell him about the thing they had going on, Jack had made that decision at the very beginning of the….thing. If they got to the point where Jacob needed to know Sam would have to tell him, alone, with Jack at least three state away. Possibly with a full compliment of armed guards.

"Maybe so Jack, but you're not her CO anymore, and there are rumours"

"Really?" Jack hadn't heard them, but then he wasn't on the base much. If Sam had heard them she hadn't mentioned it. He didn't think Jacob was the type for gossip, but then and Hammond has a lot of hushed conversations over their lunch. "there's no truth in them"

"You've said that"

"Have you seen Carter?" Jack asked. "Or did you come here just to hassle me?"

"I came to do both" Jacob said, Jack nodded, one of this man's hobbies was to torture him. It was times like these he felt he would actually prefer to talk to the Tok'ra inside.

"I'm sure she'll be glad to here you came to torture me too" he knew she would be, she had this sadistic side to her too when ti came to hom being put into awkward situations. She liked to whisper things in his ears just before he had to go into meetings with the Asgard and other such races. Things that made him blush and very uncomfortable in certain areas. She was pure evil

As if she could read his mind Sam came walking around the corner. She smiled as she saw them and walked up to her dad to hug him.

"Sam" Jacob said smiling broadly at her.

"You two look in deep conversation, not interrupting anything important am I?"

"No, no" Jack said. "Just chatting."

"About what?" she looked at them.

"Nothing in particular" Jacob said. "Coffee?" she nodded. "Joining us Colonel?"

"Ah, no, I have things to be doing" he said. "Maybe another time" he smiled at Sam and she smiled back before taking her dad down to the commissary.

"Oh Colonel" she called, turning back, Jacob still walking on without her, "blue" she grinned and caught up with her dad.

Jack stood in the middle of the corridor watching her walk away. Pure evil. Now he was going to spend the rest of the day trying to work out which blue underwear she as wearing.