Note: I know, Britta started to post this story here, but since I haven't heard from her in months, and she doesn't write it with me anymore, I decided to start posting it myself. The first parts still are what we wrote together though. So here's part One, reposted and part two, new... sort of... so this is the director's cut ;)

1011 23rd Street #6

Disclaimers: The Division belongs to DJL and Lifetime and if any of them actually consider killing off our CD we're gonna disown them and make them regret it!

This story's beginning is set after the kiss in "Thus With A Kiss I Die" but before the season finale "Hearts And Minds" & "Acts Of Betrayal"

feedback please: Britta - thruma17(at)aol.com & cat - cat2014(at)web.de


1011 23rd Street #6

Nate had seen CD leave and knew she was trying to avoid him. She had succeeded with that for quite a while already but he was fed up with it. So he rushed after her and caught her in the parking lot when she had just entered her car. He opened the passenger side door and sat down next to her.

"Nate" CD knew exactly what he wanted from her but she still didn't feel ready to talk about it. So she just wished he would leave her car again.

"Don't you dare run away from me!" He said sternly and sighed. "CD please... we need to talk. Tell me you think it was a mistake, tell me you're not ready yet, tell me you changed your mind... just please stop ignoring me. Don't break my heart like that." He looked at her, pain evident in his eyes.

CD sighed slightly. She knew that he deserved an answer, that was the least she had to do. But she wasn't sure if she should tell him what she felt. She was afraid that he would turn her down then. "Nate, I ... " She didn't look in his eyes. Then she inhaled and said: "You know, I don't think of 'it' as a mistake ... I ..." She paused again.

Nate looked at her and reached over and gently placed his hand on her cheek. "Then what?" He softly asked.

She shivered at the touch of his hand but she didn't push it away. "I ... it wasn't a mistake because ... it was what I ... uhm, felt, no, feel for you." CD prepared herself for a 'turn down' from him. She was pretty sure that he didn't feel the same way she did.

"So do I." He whispered and leaned in closer and gently kissed her lips.

CD was more than surprised. That was a response she had never expected. But she was very happy with it. When they stopped kissing she smiled like the happiest woman on earth. "Wow, I hadn't expected that. But that's the reason why I ignored you. I was afraid of your response", she whispered.

He frowned at that. "You were scared I'd kiss you again?"

She smiled, his confused expression was so cute. "No, I was afraid you would kinda ignore me then, ya know?"

He chuckled at that. "That's just impossible. How could I ever ignore the most beautiful woman on earth?" He kissed her again.

CD loved the way he kissed her. But then suddenly another thought crossed her mind. "Nate ... we .... there's something we need to talk about. I mean we work together ... " She looked down at her knees. Then she said slowly: "I don't wanna lose you as my partner."

He sighed and looked down too. "I don't wanna lose that either." Then he looked at her again. "But I..." He tilted her chin up so she had to look at him again. "Candace I love you. I want you and I need you. I'll be honest with you, I can't promise you that everything stays the same when we allow ourselves to be more than partners, but I'd die to find out."

He was so sweet that CD wasn't sure if she deserved him. "Yeah, I know. I would do anything for you!" She slightly kissed him. "But we have to hide it, don't we?"

He kissed her and sighed again. "I'm afraid so baby." Wrapping his arms around her he just held her close for a moment.

Snuggling close to him she thought that this felt too good to be true. "Hey, how about we go to the 'Anchorside' and celebrate a little since we're both off duty?" She asked him.

He smiled. "I'd rather be alone with you... I mean... at the Anchorside, if somebody sees us there... I can't hold you, I can't kiss you... and we need to talk some more too I think. But how about we grab dinner to go there?" Gently he stroked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Sounds good to me" She smiled and drove her car over there.

Winking at her he got out of the car and walked into their hangout. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Jinny at the bar.

CD saw Jinny as well. "Oh no." Instantly she let go of Nate's hand which she'd held. Then she took a closer look at Jinny. It looked like she was drunk and trying to get plastered even more.

Nate sighed. "Not good" He whispered, knowing they couldn't let her stay here like that.

So CD walked over to Jinny. "Hey Jinny. What's up?"

Jinny motioned the bartender to fill up her glass again. "Havin fun here. You?" Jinny said sarcastically. She had thought it was for the best that Jack left. And she still thought that. But she had been so terribly alone. And then she had remembered her brother's death again... wanting to die herself... she had just wanted to talk to Magda, had needed her friend. But Magda wasn't alone. She had sent her away again to be with Jonah. So now Jinny was here, alone, drinking.

"I can see that." CD knew that Jinny was struggling with her life. Not wanting to support killing her problems with alcohol, she herself took the refilled glass and drank the whole shot at once. "You better come with us, mhm?"

"Hey!" Jinny protested. "Get your own!" She glared at CD.

"No, I won't." She took Jinny's arm and gave the barkeeper some money. "Come on, Jinny. I won't let you get drunk!" Outside she said to Nate: "I'll take her home with me. What about you?"

Nate nodded. "I'm with you." He knew Jinny needed her friends now. And he didn't want to leave CD alone with her either.

"Great. We're havin a party." Jinny muttered and glared at CD who was still holding her arm. "Let go of me and play mommy for somebody else, will ya?"

"Can you drive?" She asked Nate. "I can sit with her in the back then."

Nate nodded and looked at Jin. "Where's Magda?"

Jin snorted at that. "Ohhh yeah. Magda... my partner... and friend... yeah... I was there... but she talked Gabe into going camping with Ben so she and Jonah could have one last night together..." She rolled her eyes. "So I got kicked out again." She sounded upset about that.

CD rolled her eyes too at that. That was typical for Magda. Although she had a great husband, she needed her lover.

Nate sighed and took the keys from CD. "Okay I'll drive"

First CD helped Jinny into the backseat and then climbed in the car next to Jinny. Putting one arm around her shoulders she promised, "Everything will be alright."

"Uhhh yeah. I so believe that!" Jinny slurred. "Everybody keeps on telling me my damn life will be okay again, but it just keeps on getting worse. I kicked out my husband... who I didn't even love, which I know now... I just didn't wanna be alone anymore, ya know?"

"I'll be there for you. As long as you want me I'll stay with you, Jinny. I promise!" CD was upset about the situation her friend was in. She really wanted to help her.

"Yeah sure. Whatever." Having been hurt way too often already to believe that, Jinny just shrugged.

to be continued...