Random factors

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Warnings/notes : Crawford/Schuldich, Crawford pov, one word of bad language

Disclaimer : I don't own Weiss Kreuz.

written at 17th july 2003, by Misura

Author's note : In a way, this can be considered a companion-fic to 'The silence that counts'

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Precognition is a curse.

It wrecks your life completely, reducing it to one, endless slur.

Because no matter what you do or see, you've always done or seen it before.

Nothing new.

Nothing surprising.

I hate it, even if it gained me the one person I value most, and allowed me to keep him, and the two people we won't call friends, alive.

Schuldich ...

Will I ever understand him?

I want to, by instinct and reason, but at the same time I don't.

He never does what I expect him to.

Often, he even does the opposite of what I order or want him to do.

And, odd as it may sound, I love him for it.

I may have to fight down urges to yell at him rather often, I could never get truly angry at him for acting and speaking the way he does.

It's what I long for, something unexpected.

How could I blame him for living up to my desires?

Even if I'm still not sure whether he does it for me or simply because it's who he is.

He's a telepath after all ; he might sense a bit of what I want.

Only why would he do that for me?

Does he love me?

Uncertainties. I'm not used to them, yet now it seems I'm addicted to one.

Redhaired, hot and steamy.

Jaded, cruel and cold.

There are so many aspects to him ; how can one body harbor so many persons?

He's dangerous.

A risk, to me both personally and professionally.

I can't predict what he'll do ; my visions rarely show much of him.

He might kill me one day.

He might die one day.

Ignorance is bliss, isn't that what they say?

There are times when I desperately wish I knew everything about him, about us.

When we'd break up, why and how ...

When we'd die, who of us would go first ...

New emotions for my mind, to disrupt its perfect, spotless and most of all incredibly boring rationality, like he has allowed my body to experience new sensations.

Who'd have thought I was the type for cuddling after all?

-----

"I did." Schuldich remarked smugly. "From the first time I saw you."

Crawford glared at him. "I don't believe that."

"It's true." Schuldich shrugged. "Like I also knew we were going to end up sleeping together."

"Really?" Crawford had gone a little interested now.

"Hey, no one can resist me." Schuldich winked. "Surely you noticed how incredibly charming I can be if I want to."

"Apparently you don't want to very often then." Crawford remarked dryly. "Considering how often you annoy those around you, including me."

"Ah, but you like me that way, don't you, Braddie?" Schuldich grinned.

"No."

"Yes, you do." Schuldich corrected him.

"Why are you even asking, if you are so sure you know the answer already?" Crawford snarled.

"Temper, temper." Schuldich 'tsk'ed. "I'm asking because I like to talk to you."

"I see. You're in bed with me now, because we have such great conversations." Crawford raised one eyebrow. "In that case, why did you insist on us both being naked?"

"Oh, please Brad. Don't play innocent. Though it's real cute normally, it's rather late already."

Crawford sighed. "What you mean to say is : you want a goodnight fuck and go to sleep."

Schuldich looked at him with wide, innocent eyes. "Would I ever put it that crudely? Really, Brad, you ought to mind your language a little more ; you never know who might be listening in on us."

"Not Nagi, if he knows what's good for him." Crawford growled.

"I believe you just chased him away." Schuldich reported. "A pity that ; I love an audience."

"Schuldich!"

"What?" Schuldich flashed him a smirk. "Oh, come on, Brad, you know I was only kidding! You're so predictable sometimes ; I -knew- that remark would get you all riled up."

"You do love bugging me, don't you?" Crawford accused.

"Almost as much as making love to you." Schuldich smiled, his expression gone slightly dreamily.

"Was that a hint to get on with it?" Crawford halted his lips a short distance before they touched his lover's, who made a displeased noise at that.

"Stop telling me what I think ; it gets tiresome." Schuldich sighed. "Do I have to do everything myself here?"

Crossing the last inches between them, he firmly kissed Crawford.

: And stop worrying about the future. Worrying won't change a thing. Try enjoying the present for once ; tomorrow there'll be plenty of time to think about tomorrow. :

OWARI