Title: When Harry Ate An Ice Cream Bar

Disclaimer: I own nothing in here... except for this extremely shallow plot.

Warning: Slash, PWP

Rating: R – NC-17

A/N: This is my first actual typed PWP so hope you like it! No flames please.

Hogwarts was having ice cream for dessert on this hot, sunny day in spring. Craving something besides ice cream in a bowl, Harry took one of the bars with vanilla ice cream covered in a crunchy, frozen chocolate shell. For no reason that he could actually thing of, everybody started at him with some sort of weird interest while he took one.

Draco happily ate away at his strawberry ice cream. He grinned to himself as the sweet, tangy flavor of the luscious red fruit swished through his mouth and melted on his taste buds. He looked up to see what flavor Potter had.

Harry was slowly licking away at the icy shell that had formed, only to have to lick it all away again. He made a small whimper of pleasure as he tasted the hard, frozen chocolate on his tiny, pink taste buds. Hermione's ice cream spilled out of her mouth and onto her lap. Her spoon dropped on the floor.

McGonnagal fainted at the sight. Severus Snape grew hard immediately and swore that he would take 300 points off of Gryffindor later on for some unreasonable reason. Dumbledore just smiled at the gorgeous young teen for being so bloody oblivious to what was going on around him.

Draco stared. His spoon fell back into his bowl, splashing the ice cream onto his face. "Shit!" he swore. Everybody, but Harry and Dumbledore, turned their heads in his direction, putting two fingers on their lips, shushing him very rudely.

Curse her sexy, innocent, non-related brother! Her pants were all wet now and sticky too! Hermione whipped out her want and muttered a quiet "Scourify." Someone's bowl dripped to the floor, created a small clattering sound that ran through out the Great Hall. Ginny's.

A camera flashed. Creepy Creevey's. Ron sat at the table eating his cookie dough ice cream in ignorance. And as they say, ignorance is bliss. Someone fainted, causing everyone to whisper, "Shhh!!!" her way. Hufflepuff, Hannah Abbot. Ravenclaw, Lisa Turpin would have opened her notebook to jot down ways to turn the great Harry 'I'm oblivious to how gorgeous I am' Potter into her sex toy if she had not been watching so intently.

Harry took a little bite of his ice cream and shivered a little bit. Justin Finch-Fletchley's nose started bleeding profusely. Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin by house, slut by reputation, just wet herself. Neville, who had lost Trevor again, was somewhere about the castle searching for his very troublesome toad.

Draco's pants grew painfully tight as his arousal was pressed strainfully against them. Who knew Potter eating his dessert could be so...HOT? The raven-haired young man licked the little bit of vanilla ice cream drizzling slowly out of the chocolate shell, still not noticing everyone's eyes on him.

Lavender Brown drooled buckets onto the table and into her lap, soaking her clothes and making her shirt stick to her skin. Crabbe and Goyle were outside near the lake fighting over who would get Potter first. Seamus Finnegan, the Irish imp that everyone likes, went brain dead. Hufflepuff, Ernie McMillan wet himself. Another bowl and spoon dropped onto the floor. Ravenclaw's gossip girl, Mandy Brocklehurst's.

If the Patil sisters had been boys, both their pants would have ripped by now. Blaise Zabini's pupils were completely dilated with lust. Trelawney was busy predicting if Harry would die from being burned in letters that students sent him. Some would say that they wanted to have his baby. Others would be kinkier and some would be from masochists sending him a dagger.

Still oblivious, Harry bit off half the shell of the melting ice cream getting some ice cream dripping down his chin. Unwilling to waste the deliciously frozen sweet, he licked it all off, darting his tongue out to try and reach his chin.

Draco was currently very, very grateful that his robes were loose. Every fifth year (especially Hufflepuffs) either had a hard-on, wet herself, had a nosebleed, fainted, died, or had drooled themselves into dehydration if that was possible. Sevvie was wanking himself off while planning a rather devious plot for revenge. Dumbledore was still smiling that annoying smile of his. The Head of Gryffindor had a heart attack and died right after she woke up. Every single straight 7th year male was deciding whether or not to kill Harry this instant. The ladies in seventh year were contemplating if they should push Harry up to the nearest wall and ravish him now or later.

Professor Flitwick was too short to see what was going on. His own loss. Madame Pomfrey was banging her head on the table for banning Harry Potter from the hospital wing. As for Professor Sprout, she had already passed out from loss of blood.

Harry finally noticed that every eye in the Great Hall was on him, except for Ron. He looked at Hermione, who blushed bright red. "Hermy, would you be so kind to explain to me why everyone is staring at me innocently eating my ice cream? Is there something on my head?" Hermione shook her head, entirely unable to say anything.

So, he went back to eating his ice cream, breaking the entire shell and holding it in his hand, slowly melting at the warmth. Someone moaned in ecstasy. Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin by house, whore by reputation once again. Another screamed, "Fuck me already, HARRY!!! You know you want to!!!!!!!" The Ex-Girlfriend. Cho Chang. Everybody, but Harry, who rolled his eyes at the comment, gagged exaggeratedly at her. Draco glared at her and if looks could kill... the world would have one less frigid bitch to deal with.

Blaise couldn't handle it anymore; he reached under the table and unbuttoned his pants. They got unzipped as well. Then, he ran all the way back the Slytherin dungeons and took a freezing cold shower to solve that big problem of his. When that didn't work, he grasped himself and started stroking himself lightly with the picture of Harry and ice cream on his mind. He began pumping harder and when he reached his climax, "HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" could be heard all the way in the Great Hall and through certain bits of the Forbidden Forest.

Harry popped the last bit of chocolate in his mouth and sucked on each finger to get the melted chocolate off of the tips of his digits. In order to get the chocolate off of his palm, he put the entire palm to his mouth and licked it all up. Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws who had been okay earlier fainted, needless to say, a couple of the younger Hufflepuff girls, who couldn't handle it, dropped dead.

By now, you're all probably wondering, "Where are all the straight people in this story?" They all turned their heads to see what had their ladies, with the intention of hurting it, and found themselves staring as well, but their sexual orientation has not changed.

So... moving on like every story has to...

A few younger Gryffindors (the smarter ones) dared not to look for another moment, for fear that they'd faint or drop dead as well. Every boy thanked Merlin that they weren't older or they'd be wanking off shamelessly like some /other/ people. ::cough:: Blaise Zabini! ::cough::

Theodore Nott (Slytherin for the record) had hidden in a corner whispering very quietly to himself and sucking his thumb, "It'll be over soon. Don't worry, it'll be over soon."

Crabbe and Goyle were limping to the infirmary. Neither had won. Ginny was fairly busy regretting not volunteering to share a room with Harry at the Burrow after his confession to being gay, Ron had told her when she asked, that he slept in only a pair of very low slung pajama pants and no boxers underneath.

Back to Harry. He proceeded to lick the melting vanilla ice cream off of his fingers and up the stick, then all the way around the actual bar. It actually seemed like he'd given someone a blowjob before... but that wasn't possible, was it? Was he actually a sex fiend behind the mask? Could be. I wouldn't bet on it though. Or maybe I would.

Draco growled to himself as he swore on his hair gel and sex that he would tease Potter later on or at Least get a satisfying fuck out of him. Then, he'd see what the tongue of his could do. Salazar Slytherin... he was getting harder by the moment at that though.

All the people that hadn't fainted, died, hidden in a corner, drooled, wanked off, ran away, or all of the above, was about one hundred- sixteenth of all of Hogwarts, Neville Longbottom, Ronald Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Trevor the Toad, Crookshanks, Filch, Mrs. Norris, Hagrid, and that's about it.

Harry was careful not to bite a piece off the bar too quickly or he'd get shivers running down his body like a couple of minutes ago.

A little while later, he finally finished eating his ice cream bar. Draco had his pants unbuttoned and Ron was still eating his cookie dough ice cream. "Ron, I'm gonna go outside, 'kay? Come find me when you're done." And Harry strolled outside, unconsciously walking over the fallen bodies. Draco followed him all the way out.

Someone pushed Harry up against the wall. "That was a real mean act you pulled just now with that ice cream bar."

To be continued...

Do you want it continued? If so, review! Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading!!! Bye bye for now!

- driven to insanity