A/N: Just a short 'warning': This story doesn't have an end... I think. I will finish it when I am sure I can't come up with any more situations that will virtually drive Wolverine nuts. LOL.

Now the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters is crowded with people. That means that if the X-Men are the teachers, they must also be tutors. And what happens when Wolverine- that has fought against Magneto, defeated Death, whooped Apocalypse's ass- meets the most dangerous thing in his life? Teen girls!

The story will spin around Wolverine, not the girls. The girls are just there to drive him nuts. LOL. Everyone is invited to join Wolvie's pupils in a funny self-insertion (just post a review)... only it will be me who writes it. LOL. :) What we want here is to have fun! And on with it already! Enjoy!!!






Chuck, this time you really did surpass yourself. The prissy classrooms, fine. Having me teaching History- with the excuse that I 'have been in most of it' (Ha, ha-very funny. I'm not THAT old!), fine. Me being a tutor... wrong. I knew it would be wrong when you first told me about it. And if that wasn't enough I am stuck with the biggest problems you have under your roof.

I think you examine the students and think: It's sane? Send it to Jean. Sex-crazed feminist? Send it to Emma. Depressive and a bit schizophrenic? To Rogue. Happy-go-lucky and heckover noisy? Send it to the Cajun.

A problem so big that you don't know where to send it? STRAIGHT TO ME! Sigh.


(Writing from dog house, hiding from the Rabid Fangirls that you say are my pupils.)

I was trying to sneak away from the students and their questions, but got caught. Damn. I turned around to the brat that had been chasing me down the whole damn long corridor and bellowed:


It turned out that the 'brat' was Jean. The punch she knocked me out with did not only give everyone a good laugh, but also helped me develop my muscles and bones: now my head can do the 360 degree twist. (Did Hulk teach her how to smack people like that or WHAT?)

While I was still dizzy she informed me that there was a student at my 'office' (that rat hole where you keep me locked) and that she had to be punished for something that was so horrendous that not even Jean could forgive.

Red seemed to have her in one of her lessons too and was rather fond of the brat (Scott wasn't and thought that she deserved highest punishment- just that fact gave the tadpole a good excuse for me to forgive her). She was telling me what she had done and I remember nodding, but I didn't hear a word she had said... I was trying to make my ears stop beeping. Red has a hard right.

So basically, I crawled into my office to see the brat-err ,lovely princess, and inflict on her the punishment deserved. I faced one of my biggest terrors:

Krazy Mulder.

I mean Karen. Ahem. Krazy is the nickname she's being called by Emma's prissy and bitchy students (Get them off mine before I teach my girls how to kick some ass, Bald. And that's a warning.). Anyway.

I am sure you have seen her profile. She is in Detention Room almost every day. Someone in her family works for the FBI or something. Yeah, that pretty ,otaku-eyed, hellover long haired brat. I asked her once what she did with so much hair and she answered 'I could ask you the same, you know'. Smart cookie.

For short: brown hair, brown eyes. Swears even more than I do. And really loud. Ahem. She was sitting there looking all innocent fluttering her long eye-lashes at me. As if that'd work.

''What did you do this time, Karen?''

''You tell me. I was just defending my rights.''

''Huh?'' Sorry, I couldn't come up with anything smarter that moment.

She sighed and looked at me as if I were a retarded for a second, then she seemed to understand that I REALLY didn't know what the shit that all was about and pouted.

''Well, you know I am always speaking about the paranormal. And you also know that none believes me.'' I have been to Heaven when I died but came back. Twice. I was God's Messenger or something like that in that thing with that Gehenna jigsaw stone. I have seen Shi'ar princess Lilandra. And I'm sure I've seen aliens. (Maybe I was drunk that night?)

Just WHO in here doesn't believe you, brat???

''Who tried to tell you to believe otherwise?''


''Joseph? That prissy Magneto clone with medusa hair that's so damn gay?''

''Wheee, you described him perfectly.''

''And what exactly did you do to him?'' I had been planning on getting him in a mess myself, but I could never find something that was cool and not too harmful at the same time.

''I shaved his hair off.''

''WOAH!'' It was the best I could come up with. Again. These students are really affecting my brain, you know. I start speaking like them.

''Yeah, I know. This morning he went ballistic. But after fainting and getting over it, he made Jean track the responsible down... and found me. Which was shit.''

''Tell me about it.'' It was always shit when someone caught you about to do something really brilliant and evil. But it was even worse when you couldn't even enjoy your success.

Karen shrugged and looked back at the door. She knew Jean was there, I knew it too. By now she was probably having a good laugh at both of us. I asked a student later and I found out that when she first saw Joseph she was laughing to tears and Scott had to drag her away before she went blue and gave up the ghost.

And now there she was again laughing her ass off. Had the urgency to toss myself out the window.

''Karen, you can go.''

''Fukkit! Can I?'' Her eyes were big as tennis balls. She could just not believe it.

''Yes. Don't swear on your way out. And don't do it again... without me.'' I grinned. ''We'll talk about ethics some other day.''

She happily trotted out the room with a wide grin for me. Am I the only one in the team that feels paternal towards this bunch of kiddos? Cause sometimes it damn looks like it!!!

Oh, well. I had just saved that hazardous period- err... little angel from Scott's clutches. Mwahahaha. I would change my code name to Wonder Tutor one day. Go me!

I didn't feel that well when Jean entered the room with a stunned, angry look, though.


Shit, had Red just said the F word???

Resisted the urge to toss myself out the window a bit earlier, but I see there was no need to. Jean grabbed me by the ear and Phoenixed me out a fifth floor.

I just realized the playground flood is very hard.