A Raven Colored Past

Chapter Seven: Coping with Loss…and Happiness

July 21, 2004

- - -

Beast Boy's heart was heavy as he looked up at Titan Tower, glowing like a beacon in the night. He couldn't bear to see the Tower, not when he knew that the girl he loved was trapped in hell, and he was a world away from her. He had failed himself, the other titans, but most of all… he had failed Raven. After all those promises to protect her and keep her safe, he now stood on the Top-World, while she was enclosed by the burning walls of blackmail.

His limbs were weighted as he pushed open the door to the tower, trudging slowly through the entryway, up the stairs, and into the living room. Robin sat on the couch playing a game with Cyborg, as they were both unaware of the events that had taken place earlier today.

'Maybe I shouldn't bother them with it…' Beast Boy thought as he turned to walk silently out of the living room. For a moment, however, he paused and looked at their faces, studying the expression or lack thereof. Each face was completely blank, as if they weren't concerned with the game in front of them, but more concerned with something they could not control. Beast Boy sighed deeply, and turned back to them fully. 'But, they have a right to know. I should tell them.'

"Robin… Cyborg…" He said carefully. Each of the boys jumped up and turned to look at their visitor. Slowly, smiles worked across their faces and they stood up, glad to see the goofy green face again. Just a few days without him felt actually sad and lonely, and it was nice to have the silly boy back at the tower.

"Beast Boy," Robin said, approaching the green titan eyes lit with the happiness of a safe return. " How'd it go? What happened exactly?" He paused for a moment and looked around. His face went from happiness to confusion in a few miniscule seconds as he noticed the lack of the other Titan. "Where's Raven?"

Beast Boy cringed slightly at the name, then looked away. He couldn't face them and tell them the bad news, not after he promised with all his heart that they would return safely. "She's still back there…"

"What?" Cyborg asked in surprise. "Why? How come she's not back here, BB?"

"Sephiroth found a 'bargaining chip'." Beast Boy walked to the sofa and fell heavily into it. "He blackmailed her into a marriage." He ran his hand through his hair and felt tears come to his eyes, blinking them away he continued to tell the dreary tale. "Raven had to stay in Azarath… to be married to Sephiroth and become queen."

"WHAT!?" Robin's face fell instantly and Cyborg looked like he was going to be sick with either shock or rage, it was hard to decide.

"I tried everything to protect her… but when we came close to the end of it all, we both got careless, and I lost Raven." Beast Boy took a long, straggled breath then finally let his tears fall down his face silently. "It was my fault… I'm so sorry."

Robin slowly sat down next to Beast Boy and stared straight ahead of him, unable to move or say anything. It was hard comprehend… even just think about. They had lost Raven to the throes of Azarath, but he didn't blame Beast Boy. He blamed the manipulative Sephiroth and all of his evil doings.

"Damnit!" Robin yelled suddenly, letting his head fall into his hands as anger and rage swept swiftly through his body. He had lost Raven; all of the Titans had lost Raven. She was such a vital piece of their lives; their friend that was shrouded in mystery, but still so… so Raven. They had lost her.

"I'm sorry, Robin… Cyborg…" Beast Boy whispered through his silent tears, feeling a deep shame at being able to sit upon the same sofa with them. "I know I let everyone down. I really screwed up this time."

"No…" Cyborg said, sitting slowly next to Robin on the sofa, feeling just as empty and shocked as anyone else in the room. "If Sephiroth was so determined to have Raven, none of us could have stopped him. He would have manipulated all of us… it wasn't your fault."

"But, I promised to keep her safe… and I failed her. I failed all of you." Beast Boy sighed deeply, wiping his tears from his face and feeling rather foolish at exposing himself like that.

"You didn't fail anyone, Beast Boy… you protected her the best that you could, that's all that anyone could ask of you." Robin stated firmly.

"Maybe…" The green boy stood up, his head hanging in defeat. "I think I need to be alone for a while…" And with slow, heavy steps, he exited the door.

His body barely seemed able to move down the hall when he walked. The loss of Raven had hit him in every physical and mental way that it could. His mind felt as though weights had taken residence upon it, and his heart felt the same way. Beast Boy knew he was sinking into depression as well, and was powerless to stop it.

He stopped outside a door and looked at the engraved nameplate upon it. Seeing her name only made things worse. He couldn't handle the loss of a loved one! It is terrible to lose your parents to death, it is even worse to lose your love to marriage no one wanted.

'If only I could talk with her some how… but I don't know how to return to Azarath…' He pressed his hand against the cold, steel door, feeling his emotions run wild within him. Then it hit him like a lightening bolt. An epiphany of sorts.

'I don't know how to return to Azarath… but I know someone who does!' He thought suddenly, and with that Beast Boy threw open the door, knowing he could now enter her domain without fear of punishment. He allowed the lights to stay off, as Raven would have preferred and looked around the room carefully. The sheets were thrown off the bed in a haphazard fashion, and many articles had been removed from the shelves as if a struggle had taken place in the room.

'Probably fighting with Sephiroth… the bastard,' Beast Boy snarled to himself, trying to contain all the anger he felt for the being, it was pretty damn hard.

He began looking under the sheets piled on the floor, and then on the shelves. Finally, on the highest shelf, shoved all the way in the corner, was what Beast Boy had been looking for. His fingers grasped cold metal and pulled the beautiful and ornate mirror down from the shelf. He looked into its smooth, reflective surface for a small moment, before getting the strange feeling that he was being sucked through a very dark and large straw.


"Ow…" Beast Boy rubbed the newly growing bump on his head as he sat up. "Note to self: watch the landing."

"BEAST BOY!!" A bright, pink ball came flying through the air suddenly, tackling Beast Boy to the ground, and began screaming with unbridled joy. "Beast Boy! Beast Boy! BeastboybeastboybeastboybeastboybeastboybeastboybeastBOOOOOOOY!"

"Ahh… it's nice to see you too… Happy." Beast Boy choked out, seeing as Happy's arms were wrapped around his neck like a python around its prey. "Can… you ah… let me… breathe?"

"Ooops!" Happy let go and sat up, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "Sorry about that!" There was a moment of pause before Happy launched into another expression of excitement. "I'msohappyyou'reherebecausenoneofusknowwhattodoandRavenmissesyousooooomuchand-and-and-"

"Happy, take a breath…" Another, less excited, voice said from behind the pink-clad Raven. Happy breathed in deep and held her breath so her cheeks puffed out and her eyes went wide.

"I don't think Beast Boy will be leaving any time soon." The less excited voice was clad in yellow, and took very calm and careful steps toward the green boy on the ground.

Beast Boy looked over at the yellow Raven, who was, oddly enough, wearing glasses. She smiled knowingly at him, and nodded her head in greeting. "Hello, Beast Boy." She offered her hand to him, and he accepted it. "I don't belive we met last time you visited. I'm Knowledge."

"Hello," He said calmly as he stood up.

Knowledge looked over at Happy, whose face was turning purple and flailing her arms. She shook her head and sighed deeply, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "Happy, you can breathe, you know."

"WHEW! I didn't think I could do that!" Happy giggled brightly, skipping over to where Knowledge and Beast Boy stood. She pulled on the Titan's arm, trying to drag him to the portal into her world. "Let's play together, BB! Come on! We can go run throught the fields or-"


Knowledge slapped Happy's hand and she let go of Beast Boy's arm instantly.

"OWWW!" Happy cried, holding her bruised hand close to herself, fearing another onslaught of physical abuse from the yellow one. She pouted angrily and looked at Knowledge. "What was that for!?"

"For trying to take Beast Boy away. You know Raven wanted to see him as soon as he got here," Knowledge scolded the pink Raven.

"Why does she get to keep him to herself?" Happy pouted some more, crossing her arms over her chest and stamping her foot like a child.

"Listen you, just because Raven is letting you out more, doesn't mean that you can just go and do whatever you want," Knowledge said firmly, shaking a finger at her.

"Whoa! Time out here," Beast Boy said, holding up his hands in a shape of a 'T'. He stepped in between the feuding Ravens and looked at Knowledge. "You said Raven was waiting to see me?"

"Yes, she was hoping you'd remember the mirror and use it to come see her… I must admit that I was a little skeptical at first… but, you seem to have gotten here just fine," Knowledge said with mild surprise.

"Mm, thanks for your vote of confidence," Beast Boy said flatly, rolling his eyes.

"Do you want to see her or not?" Knowledge raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Could I see her, please?" Beast Boy asked politely, feeling his stomach tense at the prospect of seeing Raven again… or from having to deal with such strange sides of Raven. Either way… it was way weird.

"Yes, follow me…" Knowledge said calmly, starting across the bridge of floating rock. Beast Boy nodded, and stayed closely behind her.

"I WANNA COME!!!" Happy cried as she bounded up to the pair and launched herself at Beast Boy's Back. She tugged on his uniform, jumping up and down. "Give me a piggyback ride, BB!! PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSEEEEE???"

"WHAAAA???" Beast Boy stared at the girl as if she had proclaimed herself the queen of shopping. "You want a what!?"

Knowledge sighed, rubbing her temples furiously, feeling a headache start to form there. "Humor her, please. That's all she's been talking about since your last visit. 'I want a piggyback ride from BB… blah blah blah blah blah…' It's really beginning to get on my nerves."

"Um…" He looked back at Happy, who was staring at him with wide, expecting eyes. "Okay… come on." He bent down and Happy jumped on to his back, squealing with glee.


Beast Boy looked over at Knowledge as they started back down the path, and raised an eyebrow in question. "Has she always been this… ah… exuberant?"

Knowledge shook her head, sighing deeply as Happy made even more sounds of joy. "No… only lately, because Raven's been able to let her out some more… thanks to you." She smiled a little at him.

The green Titan's cheeks turned red instantly and he looked away in embarrassment. He quickly began searching for a subject change, and found it in the angry face of Raven.

The Raven.

Yes, the one and only Raven.

"Happy," Raven growled between clenched teeth, a little vein popping out on her forehead. "what are you doing?"

Happy jumped off Beast Boy's back and skipped around the three people happily. "Beast Boy gave me a PIGGYBACK RIDE!!"

Knowledge grabbed the hood of Happy's disgustingly pink cloak and rolled her eyes. "Come on, Happy… let's leave Beast Boy and Raven alone…" She drug the emotion away.

"Aweeee… do I have to?" Happy cried, pushing out her bottom lip.

"Yes…" Knowledge said this as if being with Happy would kill her… which it might actually do.

"Okay…" Happy began to wave at the couple left behind. "BYE-BYE, BB! COME SEE ME LATER!!" She cried as her butt was drug across the rocky surface of the floating path.

Raven just glared at the emotion, and Beast Boy waved a small good-bye. He slowly looked over at Raven who was just seething with jealousy at the very thought of anyone getting a piggyback ride from her Beast Boy.

"A piggyback ride…" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Heh… sorry?"

- - -

Ahh… sorry about how AWFUL this chapter was. I promised myself I would get it out before I had to leave for Florida. So, It's 12:00 in the morning and I have to get up in 4.5 hours to leave for the airport. Needless to say… the editing on this chapter is not the greatest. But I promise to edit the chapter better and re-post it, when I write chapter eight. Thanks for all your cooperation!

Love: Xaph!

Tell me if you hated it, tell me if you loved it, tell me to go eat a sock… I don't care! It's all good to me!

I don't own Teen Titans, and don't sue… because all you'll get is $2.00… yippitie-skippitie for you.