Shuichiella made a mad dash home, arriving just before Bad Luck and K. When they walked through the doors they found their maid lying in a puddle of sweat in front of the fireplace.

"What's up with you?" Demanded Mr. K.

"Oh, I was just..." Shuichiella pondered for a moment, rubbing his head, "Lying here all quiet-like and not at the ball rockin' the party, when I began thinking about that hunky Prince Charming. Oh, those deep blue eyes you could drown in...his tender smile...strong muscular arms...that manly, delicious bulge...excuse me, I'll be in the bathroom!"

Hiro shrugged, "Nothing odd here. Let us wallow in crapulence as we plan the death of that bastard who stole the stage."

"Agreed," growled Suguru and K.

Shuichiella finished up pleasuring himself in the bathroom, laying a hand on the bathroom mirror, puffing and panting. He fell his knees – man he was so turned on! What began, as a desperate bid to pretend he was an innocent handmaiden being taken against his will in the parlour by Prince Charming, soon went to pretending he was a lone cabin boy trapped on a ship with thirty horny pirates. Still turned on, his last fantasy was a throwback to his passionate rendezvous with Prince Eiri in the King's chamber. He was ever so sexy and forceful!

Clasping his hands together, he brightly chirped, "Oh, I hope I'll get a chance to play doctor with Prince Eiri again!"

His Shuichihood began to tingle. "Oooh, here we go again!"

The days passed by uneventful, save for that Black Plague epidemic in the next kingdom over.

"Father, this plague is in all of the news presses," sorrowfully explained Princess Mika, "it's so tragic! We should send them some aid."

The king lit up pipe, rolling his eyes, "Oh bitch, bitch – everyone has problems, for example, I have a starry eyed poofter for a lousy excuse for a son!"

"Father!" Gasped Princess Mika, "The politically correct term is homosexual! I know Tatsuha's a little out there, but there's no need for such profanities."

"I'm talking about that bastard, Eiri!"

Princess Mika coldly threw away the newspapers in her hand, "Oh, why didn't you say so? I can't believe how ridiculous Eiri has been acting; drooling over that smelly glass sneaker, and writing limericks about the tightness of that boy's ass, who in their right mind wants to read that?!"

"Me! Me!" Giddily sang Prince Tatsuha, appearing in the room, bouncing up and down like a hyperactive elf.

"There once was a mysterious singer, Who really rang my dinger, Now he's gone, I'm left to mourn, My hardness can only linger."

"SHUT UP!" Yelled his father and sister.

Desperate the king got out his address book, "There's still time, hopefully Princess Ayaka can try another round of getting Eiri to marry her. Eight hundredth time's the charm, right?!"

Tatsuha lazily yawned, perched on his father's chair. "He wouldn't marry her as a human, what makes you think he'd marry her as a frog?"

"This is all your husband's fault!" Accused the king to his daughter, "What were you thinking, marrying a wizard?!"

"Don't blame Tohma! His job isn't easy; He can't help that as a powerful man he has the power to bring both bliss and misery. Do you think he enjoyed turning her into a frog?!"

"He didn't seem to care either way, when we were talking in an empty closet as you bitched about the economy with Snow White," explained Prince Tatsuha.

"Huh?"

"Never mind...oh look, it's Eiri!"

Prince Eiri confidently stepped into the room, dramatically holding the sneaker high, "I declare that I shall that find that jovial idiot at my father's expense, and make him my naughty nurse!"

"Oh dear God," gawked Princess Mika and the king.

Prince Tatsuha lay back in his chair, scratching his belly, "When you find him, can I borrow him on weekends?"

The hunt for the boy with the hot posterior went on weeks. Every boy and young man in the kingdom was to try on the glass sneaker. The sneaker was especially fitted for a certain person's foot, so Prince Eiri was hoping he was correct in his assumptions and wouldn't be held to contract if it happened to fit the wrong foot.

When the Prince came knocking at Winchester Castle, hearing four gay looking men lived there; he just had to take a look for himself.

"Big News!" Declared Mr. K, "Prince Eiri has shown up!"

"He's going to offer us an entertainment contract?" exclaimed Suguru Fujisaki.

"If by constant sex, yes."

Suguru folded his arms, turning away, "I am NOT trying on that damn sneaker; I'm NOT gay!"

"Really?" Gasped Shuichiella, as he dusted a painting, "then what's up with the effeminate body movements, round-the-clock nagging, ceramic kitty collection and your needlepoint hobby?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" he demanded, both hands on hip – Shuichiella really did have a point.

Just then, Hiroshi wandered in, scratching his crotch painfully. "The prince is here, cool. Let's get this over this, I have stuff to do later."

Shuichiella was excited that Prince Eiri was at the castle, however with K around he didn't want to take any chances; Shuichiella hid in the bathroom, whiling away the time by twirling in front of the mirror, admiring again and again how pretty his frilly dress looked.

"OK, let's get this over with," sighed Prince Eiri, his servant laying down the pillow the glass sneaker lay upon.

Grumbling to himself, Suguru attempted to slip his foot in. But his foot was too big. K readied his crossbow, "A few cuts and it'll fit!" Prince Eiri glared at the fellow blonde, he wasn't going to buy that, as gay as the grumpy boy did was.

"Good, I'm glad it didn't fit! I'm sick of this place, I'm off to take that job offer as a bridge guarding troll!" With that he stormed away, to forge a lucrative career as a grumpy troll, revered in such legends, as The Three Billy Goats Gruff and well, it seems just that. Moving on...

Wriggling on the sofa, occasionally scratching himself, Hiroshi also found his foot was too big.

His constant scratching sickened the prince, "Do you HAVE to do that? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Hiroshi blushed, "They're love warts from my fiancé. We're going to get married next week." Blushing and grinning he turned to leave, "Don't mind me, I have plans to arrange. By the way, if any animal rights activists come knocking – you've never heard of Hiroshi Nakano."

"Ugh," gagged Prince Eiri, "Mind if I use your loo? I do believe I need to chuck up my lungs."

Mr. K grumbled, abandoned by both members of Bad Luck. "Sure, sure. Second hall, the second room on the left."

Prince Eiri wandered through the castle, still holding the sneaker. Wasn't there said to be four gay men living there? Once he found the bathroom, he indolently opened the door, too preoccupied to notice the fruity maid twirling dizzily in front of the mirror. Deciding a piss was more on the agenda, he opened his fly. Shuichiella stopped twirling, clutching his mouth, staring at that familiar shaft. His tongue hung out, drooling all over the floor.

Satisfied, he zipped back his pants.

"Awwwwww," mourned Shuichiella.

The prince started, jumping back, "What the...who're you?!" Prince Eiri looked the pink haired man up and down. He wore a short French maid's uniform, complete with white stockings and a frilly headband.

Shuichiella cutely batted his eyelids, "Oh your royal handsomeness, my name's Shuichi Shindo, but everyone calls me Shuichiella."

"How terrible for you, why?"

"...Because I ask them to. Like my outfit? I bought it off a stripper on a tour in Paris!"

"What a moron," he grumbled to himself. Wait a sec! "Hey, loser, try this glass sneaker on."

"I'd rather not."

"This is a ROYAL order."

"No thank-you."

"I said DO IT!"

"Nah."

"NOW!"

"Can't you take no for an –"

"I'LL SPANK YOU!"

Shuichiella plopped himself on the cold tiled floor and slipped the sneaker on with ease. At last Prince Eiri had found the sexy idiot he had longed to stain up his dad's bed again!

Shuichiella bent over, "Can I have that spank now?"

"Fool!" Prince Eiri whacked him over the head with the basin. "We can do that when I get you back to the castle."

Bleeding profusely from his cranium, Shuichiella leapt into his prince's arms, "Oh my darling, will you make me your queen?"

Petticoat ruffles irritated Prince Eiri's nose, "Honey, as far as I'm concerned you're already a queen."

And they all lived happily ever after.

Except for Suguru...

THE END

Sammy's Notes: I hope you enjoyed this little farce; in the near future I'll attempt some more Gravitation fairytale send-offs.

For the record, I'm actually a big fan of everyone, including Ayaka and Suguru – so any jest at them was merely for the sake of humour.

Be sure to check out my doujin site listed in my profile!