Fucking hell, Gojyo cursed inwardly as he felt his way across the pitch black room. What kind of an architect would design a room without any god-damned windows?

Must've been designing prisons before this, he thought, running his hands over a table and cursing again when they only met flat wood. He wouldn't be suffering like a blind person if he had roomed with Hakkai, but no, Hakkai had to fall asleep in the saru's room, leaving him stuck with the corrupt monk. Who gives a flying fuck what you got when six tangerines were divided in half? Who cared about a monkey's education anyway? And where, where was his bloody bandana?

He should never have taken it off, Gojyo thought woefully. It had been cool in the evening, but now the heat was making strands of his hair stick to his forehead and his neck. It may be late but he felt smothered and was completely determined to find his bandana before he went mad from discomfort.

At least, Gojyo reminded himself, he was determined to find it without waking up the bouzu. He recalled Sanzo's little bit of pillow talk just before he sullenly turned in for the night (This was, of course, right after the scuffle they'd gotten into over who got to smoke the last cigarette in the pack): "Fine. Snore and I'll kill you. Move and I'll kill you. And Gojyo, if you touch me…" Without finishing his sentence, Sanzo had lovingly placed his gun next to his pillow, the ominous action speaking loudly enough for Gojyo to obediently inch over to his own side of the room, but not before giving the monk a teasing reply, which had resulted in another punch-up.

He was cruelly mistreated, Gojyo decided as he quietly checked through the drawers. Nothing. He fought the urge to slam them shut. Oh god, it was so hot and his bandana was nowhere to be seen, and if he were sleeping alone he could strip but that fucking monk was in the room.

"It's all your fault, you corrupt bouzu." He said under his breath to Sanzo's sleeping form, which made no response. Of course, Sanzo wasn't perspiring at all. He was probably frigid in body temperature as well as sexually. He didn't even sweat under the sun, not even in the piles of clothing that he wore.

A complete freak, Gojyo decided. "A freakish, dysfunctional mo- AH!!"

In his heat - induced resentment Gojyo had failed to notice a fold in the rug, and before he could recover his scrambled senses he realized that he was lying on top of a very warm body…

...horror filled him…

...Sanzo's body…and his face was buried…in Sanzo's neck?

He immediately tried to scrabble off the bed but something cold and metallic pressed painfully against his temple prevented him from doing so. Fuck.

Gojyo lifted his head from Sanzo's neck and tried to laugh the situation off, which might have been convincing but for the tremble in his voice and the hand that was unsuccessfully struggling to pry Sanzo's gun away from his head.

"Er…Sanzo…hehe…" Despite his terror at the inevitable, he had to take a moment to admire Sanzo's skills. The monk had somehow manipulated Gojyo's wrist so that Gojyo was now holding the gun to his own head and Sanzo's palm squeezed around his.

"What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing?" Sanzo ground out beneath him. Oh. Gojyo's heart sank. He was doing that growling thing again. Whatever Gojyo said now, it wouldn't make a difference.

He plunged ahead anyway. "It's not what it looks like!" He said quickly.

Gojyo only narrowly missed being kicked in the crotch by Sanzo's knee. "What do you mean by that?" Sanzo roared up at him, falling back on the bed after his failed attempt to foil Gojyo's ability to procreate for the rest of his life. "What is it supposed to look like?" He grasped Gojyo's waist with both hands, digging his fingers into the flesh. "You stupid…perverted …"

One swift swing from Sanzo sent Gojyo flying back into his bed. He landed hard on the mattress. He didn't shove my face into the wall, Gojyo thought wryly, rubbing his back. He really must care.

"Oi, bouzo, you really are inhumanly strong." Gojyo complained.

"SHUT UP. And don't you dare try to molest me again, you hentai."

"Molest you?" Gojyo jumped out of bed. "You sick monk! Stop fantasizing! If anyone was molested here it was me -"

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE?"

"You wouldn't even let me get off you just now -"

Sanzo cocked his gun, but Gojyo was having far too much fun at this point.

"So you must really like the feel of my body against yours –"

"THAT'S IT!"

Pain. So much pain.

"Gomen nasai, Gojyo." Hakkai apologized. "I should not have fallen asleep in Goku's room last night. You and Sanzo…" He glanced ruefully at Sanzo, who glared back at him with the one eye that could still see. "…really do not mix well."

Gojyo waved a cast-bound hand at Hakkai. "Not your fault. His fault."

"What was that?" Sanzo hissed, lowering his newspaper.

Hakkai smoothly steered the conversation towards a safer direction. "Now, Sanzo, please don't ruin the bandages that I painstakingly wrapped around your waist."

"I'd like to wrap him up and toss him into the sea." Gojyo muttered, at which Sanzo slowly reached into his robes…

"Sanzo!" Hakkai chimed in a bit frantically. "Will you go and wake Goku up please?"

"Why should I? If he doesn't wake up in time we'll just leave him here." Sanzo said flatly.

At that moment, Goku's voice came through the door.

"Sanzoooo. Saaaanzzzoooo. Where are you? Are you in there?"

"No." Sanzo replied dourly.

The door opened and Goku burst happily into the room. His mouth fell open in shock when he saw the state Sanzo and the Gojyo were in.

"Wow, you two are like, bleeding all over the floor."

"Don't exaggerate!" Sanzo's fan came crashing down on Goku's head.

Convinced that the delicate balance between the four of them was restored at least for the next five minutes, Hakkai calmly resumed winding a bandage around Gojyo's forehead while Sanzo and Goku argued in the background.

"Hmm…" Hakkai started to laugh softly.

"Are you laughing at an injured man?" Gojyo demanded.

"Well," Hakkai finished off wrapping the bandage and patted Gojyo's head. "At least Sanzo has provided you with a replacement bandana."

"Hmph." Gojyo's mouth curved upwards.