I'm redoing this, like I told File 13 I would. So, here you go!


Rejected since day 1

My name is, Bastard Son

I've been dead so many times I've lost count

Blue collar working man

Defaceless master plan

But go work with a mental side on


Andy, the youngest boy of the Delightful Children from Down the Lane, sat in a tall chair in his room. Today was his mother's birthday. His elbows were on the arms of the chair, his hands folded together, his chin resting on them.

"Andy...? Today's the day. You know, you haven't eaten in days, what about Chinese?"

"Hush." Andy said.

The voice didn't exist. Or maybe it did. Andy didn't know anymore. The voice belonged to RDD, his devilish rubber duck. It was a gift from his late mother. Always, in stressful times, it liked to talk to him. It always seemed to be able to talk, ever since that accident that killed his mother and eldest sister. His eyes felled up with tears when he thought about it, but he didn't cry. Crying never helped, rather, it infuriated Father to the point of severely beating him. Boys don't cry.

"Oh, C'mon Andy, don't cry." the duck pleaded, "I know it sucks, but please. Hey, I've got an idea! Just take that knife over there and have at it!" RDD's voice was a cross between a duck, a demon, and prime and proper gentleman. He pronounced Andy as "On-Dee"

Andy took that knife, and ran it through as deep as his tolerance for pain would let him. Fresh blood oozed from the open wound. Andy and RDD both looked at it with fascination. Andy sucked at the blood, until he stopped bleeding. Then, taking some used, but washed, bandages and an almost empty bottle of peroxide, he cleaned and dressed his new wound.

"Feel Better?"

"Shut up." Andy said, leaving his room to meet his siblings for another doomed-from-the-start-mission.

I'm sinking, I'm twisted

I'm broke and you can't fix it

Don't make me, cause I'll do it

Red blood and then we'll all go

"I haven't been Delightful as of late, Mother. Father is going to kill me. I tried to kill myself again. Fifth time. I know, it's wrong. But either I'll kill me, or Father will kill me. Haven't killed the Kids Next Door, yet. Do you know who they are? They live Next Door. Father beats us for failure. You're not getting beaten and you failed. Life's not fair. The memoir started talking again. How's sis? He told me to slash my wrists. So I did. My siblings freaked. Especially Lenny. He's our new, adopted brother. Do you know him? He's freaky, he wears a helmet and does drugs. I think we covered it up really well, because Father didn't ask. What if he did find out? I'd probably get killed. How ironic. Oh well. Your present told me to burn down a school. I did. Father gave me second degree burns when he found out. It's ironic. "

Andy wrote in his diary. Today had been better then he expected. Well, the day sucked, as always. And so, as always, he wrote a letter to his mother. For Some reason, he had some strange comfort in writing to Mother. His siblings just wouldn't understand. He needed someone who would care to write to. He continued.

"Your present calls himself RDD, or something like that. He's that devilish Rubber duck you gave me four years ago. He keeps telling me to do evil stuff. I don't care. He's my only real Friend, besides my siblings. He tells me this is a bad place. Like I need a toy to tell me this. He says I should kill myself. Then I can come back more powerful then Father. With powers I can't even imagine. They say something that outrageous in Sunday school, which I haven't gone to since you left. And I've been burned. I'm a good boy, then I go to heaven, right? Who decides right and wrong anyway? Does it matter? But Ducky keeps nagging me. Why not listen? I burned down a school. We is educated.

Sincerely yours,

Andy"

Into the river below

I'm running from the inferno

They'll think I'm insane

But you'll all know my name

Into the river below

I'm running from the inferno

I'll take all the blame

The front page and the fame


"Your son's actions made the morn paper, Mother. Aren't you proud? And what about sis? Is she well? I got burned for failing again. Father beat me as bad as ever. My ribs hurt. I'm dumb, I failed an English test. Father beat us horribly for failure. We couldn't go to school, as we were too messed up to go. I miss you Mother, we all do. And we miss Sis, too. I think my enemies know about me. I don't want their pity. Abigail is kind of hot. Your gift told me to burn down the church. It doesn't matter if it's a sin, I've already died and gone to Hell. The next one can't be all that bad. I think Kuki is more my type, though."

"Andy, she can't help you, but I can. Go on, just do everything I say, and everything will be all better."

Those words severely annoyed Andy. The nerve!

"Liar, I only listen because you give me something to do. It's fun at any rate. But please, RDD, don't lie. You can't do a damn thing." Andy said calmly. He didn't know if he was hallucinating or not, but his rubber devil Duckie stood up, looking like a normal duck, except that it had red horns and it was black. He jumped off the desk, and waddled up to where Andy sat on the floor.

"Can't do a damn thing, eh?" the demon said, wagging his tail. "Look! I can move! Animated Rubber Devil Duckie!" the duck looked triumphant, then it brightened again," Hey! I got an idea that's to die for! Let's set that hospital on fire!"

Andy turned away and shrugged, "No." he said, but he was already planning how to get there, what chemicals to use, and how to get away, undetected.

Contraption

Made of bones

Nuts and bolts

Creates them

New monster

Brought your family tree down

Tick tocking

Times up now

Split second

Though it fell

Lonely hearts

Never had nobody

Andy's room was littered with broken mirror shards. His face was a bloody mess. Still, he didn't stop slamming his head repeatedly into the now broken mirror until he felt that he had repented. Only then did he clean and try to cover his wounds from his siblings and everyone else for that matter. He was still injured from Father's punishment, he was bruised all over, a black eye, sprained ankle, broken wrist. Now he had all these slashes all over him. Well, he was sufficiently messed up to avoid school, as he also needed to get his uniform cleaned. Blood was hell to get clean.

He sat down on his tall uncomfortable chair. The Hospital put out the fire quickly. That was bad. RDD had whispered to him during school where he had given him all the answers. When the tests were given back, Andy was surprised to see that he'd gotten a 100. His happy surprise abruptly ended when he heard RDD's diabolical laughter, "See? I'm your Friend, I can help..."

Andy just wanted him to shut up. He wanted everyone to just. Shut. Up. He was feeling like he should just teach the world a lesson, as he sat there, watching the teacher explain for the hundredth time how to reduce a fraction. Then the thought came to him, Andy, who was four days without food and had gotten an average of three hours of sleep per week for the past nine weeks. A very public self execution.

I'm sicking, I'm twisted

I'm broke and you can't fix it

Don't make me cause I'll do it

Red blood and then we'll all go

The Tolinater ran as fast as he could, abandoning the toilet seat for extra speed. He used to run track, a distance runner. He was starting to get winded when he finally reached the roof to Delightful Manor.

"Andy!" he called to the blond boy standing over the edge, Andy turned to the biggest loser of all of villians.

"Playing the hero? Well, too late. Au Revoir." Andy said, then he did a little wave and smile, then he jumped.

Time slowed down for Andy as he descended to the cement below. All of a sudden, he felt a strong tug. Looking up, he saw that the Tolinater had caught him, about five feet from the ground, with toilet paper. The weakest villain had saved his life. He smiled apologetically as, with a twist of a wrist and a few more feet of bathroom tissue, wove Andy into an impressive straight jacket.

Andy was light, too light, as he reeled him back to the roof and carried him to a cop car parked in the driveway.

"Don't look at me like that, Andy." The Tolinater said, not in his weak voice but in that deep voice he used when he was serious or very angry. Andy mumbled something nasty.

"You're too sweet." he said, as he placed him inside the car. He smiled and said,

"I knew your Mother. We went to school together. We were best Friends. A great woman, I was lucky to have known her." Then he left.

Into the river below

I'm running from the inferno

They'll think I'm insane

But you'll all know my name


Out of the hospital again. Tolinater used to go to the same hospital, mental ward. Tolinater's crazy, not me. He'd commit suicide too if he went through what I did. He thought in a huff. Almost immediately after coming home, he was putting cold cream on his new bruises he'd received after throwing himself down the stairs. He'd convinced everyone that it was an accident. His siblings didn't seem convinced. Lenny held his helmet in his hands, shaking his head.

Tonight on the news, there was a new report of arson on TV. Andy didn't do it this time, but he turned to see Lenny, with his hands on his chin, smelling of vodka and lighter fluid, his helmet at his feet, Andy touched it with the back of his hand as he sat next to his adopted brother. The helmet was still hot. The burning building was an orphanage.

"I hated it there." was all that Lenny said as he left for his room. It wasn't long before sad metal poured from the room, carrying his helmet under his arm, top part down, like there was something in it. What was in it was a zippo lighter, a pack of cigarettes, and a relativity large collapsible flask, with about an inch of vodka still left. Lenny opened a back of cigarettes, lit and smoked it. He had a device used for absorbing cigarette smoke and he had lit strong incense to mask the smell, he also downed the rest of the vodka. With a touch of a button, he turned the helmet back into the braces he wore fro protection. He twirled the metal hoop around his arm.

Andy looked at the corpse in the bathroom mirror. Scratched, bruised, he looked like a fresh rape victim. This would be his second attempt today. He pulled out a mint tin full of tiny blue pills. Rat poison. He swallowed as much of it as he could.

Within minutes, Andy puked up all of the poison. Okay, that didn't work. He said, wiping the bile away from his mouth with bathroom tissue. He gargled and spat, removing any stomach acid that would ruin his teeth. Then he grabbed a Father's shaving razor, and tried to slash his wrists, but didn't even break the skin. The alarms rounded throughout the house, signaling that Father had a new scheme he wanted his children to carry out. All Delightful Children massed together and met Father in his study.

Into the river below

I'm running from the inferno

I'll take all the blame

The front page and the fame

I'll take all the blame

The front page and the fame

Into the river below

Into the river below

Into the river below

Into the river below

Andy awoke in a hospital, along with his siblings. Second Degree burns, two broken ribs, a shattered left wrist, and a broken ankle. His siblings all had similar injuries.

"I swear, I live here now." Andy said angrily. His twin sister, Chelsea was the only other one awake. She chuckled.

"Hey, Andy. They even brought that duck Mother bought you." She said, pointing to the evil rubber duck on the bedside table.

"I'm going to torch this place down if I ever come back here again." He said.

##########

Four days out of the hospital, with his wrist still bandaged and sore, Andy vented his anger on someone's car. That someone's car was Numbuh Four's dad. Luckily. the Australian operative and his dad were vacationing back in their homeland. They'd be in for a big surprise.

It was night, and with a full bottle of vodka/sugar mix, an old t-shirt,and toilet paper, Lenny and Andy TPed as much of the tree house as they could. Then, they threw gallons of gasoline over the trunk of the tree house. Andy leaned on the steel bar he used to jack up the Beatles's car.

"Kids Next Door, we're having a barbaque....and you're all invited." the two chorused together as Andy lit the rag stuffed into bottle of vodka/sugar and Lenny through it as high as he could.

Into the river below

I'm running from the inferno

They'll think I'm insane

But you'll all know my name

The KND headquarters lit up the street. The five operatives could only watch as the tree burned down. The foliage and the gasoline had made excellent fuel. The fire fighters were finally able to extinguish the fire, but only after there was irreplaceable damage.

"Good work, my boys," Father said, "you managed to severely crippled the enemy's forces considerably, and not only that, but you did it in style. A conflagration is the perfect symbolism to my power!" he laughed, "However, you disobeyed orders, and were out past your curfew. It was irresponsible of you to do such a thing. Therefore," he paused, perhaps to strike fear into the hearts of the two boys standing before him. "You will receive neither punishment nor reward. You may go."

Into the river below

I'm running from the inferno

I'll take all the blame

The front page and the fame


Father hadn't abused his children for the arson, but he did abuse them for yet another failure. The The Tolinator had broken in, and they managed to get him out, but the fact that he got in at all deserved reprimanding.

"At least we don't have to go the hospital." Ben wheezed, blood flowing freely from both nostrils. He was the tall, skinny one, his brown hair messed up from where Father had wrenched him around with it. Lenny's helmet was cracked down the middle, he nodded as he pulled himself to his feet with great effort. Andy cold just lie there, RDD laughing in his ears as the doorbell rang.

For once, it was Father who answered the door, "Yes? Ah, Tolinater? Come here to apologize?" he said, seeing the Tolinater, with no armor on, just a business suit. He shook his head, "Guess again."

Yeah I'll take all the blame

The front page and the fame

But you'll all know my name

And they'll think I'm insane

But you'll all know my name

But they'll think I'm insane

"Phillip Andrews, Child Protection Services, and right here his a warrant for your arrest."
Tell me what you think.