Title: Measuring Up

Author:  Hawk Clowd

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything...  Although it would be rather cool if I did.

Fandom: Teen Titans Go!

Blood Type: melted ice.  Some people call that water, but I really do prefer the term 'melted ice'.  It just sounds like more fun.

Warnings: this fic consists entirely of dialogue.  I'm sorry.

Author's Notes: I wrote this for Joan, one of my best friends, in return for valuable information.  I hope it meets her standards, which are considerably lower than mine, and I warn all readers that this is the first Teen Titans story I have ever written.  Be afraid.  Don't be nice, because then I'll never learn to improve, but be afraid.  And criticize me.  I live for your criticism, that I do.

---

"So that's it?"

"That's it."

"Huh.  For some reason I thought it would be bigger than that.  Not, y'know, that I'm judging or anything.  It's just the way you're always swaggering around.  Not to mention the whole proportion aspect and that old saying that--"

"Shut up, BB."

"Hey, I have a right to voice my opinion!  Just because yours is so small doesn't mean you have to get an attitude about it, you know."

"You call this attitude?"

"Well, yeah.  What else would I call it?"

"Just shut up and whip yours out."

"All right, all right!  Jeez, don't pop a gear…  Okay, there.  There it is.  Happy?"

"...Why is it such a weird color?"

"It is not a weird color!"

"What are you, color blind?  That is a weird color."

"Yeah, well...  Yours is really small!"

"Is not."

"Uh, yeah, it is.  Maybe you need to go get your eyes checked or something, but that is one small--"

"What you guys doing in here?"

"Eeeh...  Hey, Robin.  We were just comparing our..."

"Never mind, I can see it for myself.  Don't you two have anything better to do than stand around comparing your--"

"Don't judge, Birdy.  I bet you been spending all day trying to figure out our old buddy Slade, ain't you?"

"Mm.  That is true."

"I thought so."

"Hehaha!  Uh, so...  Robin, you wanna show us yours?"

"Not particularly."

"Dude, what are you, chicken?"

"I don't know about that, but he sure has been in a fowl mood lately."

"Yeah, I heard that--"

"All right, all right, you can stop that!  I'll show you!  Just give me a minute."

"...Man, you really tuck it in there, don't you?"

"I have to make sure it doesn't get in the way!"

"How could it possibly get in--oh."

"..."

"Well, dude, I can honestly say that I'm impressed.  That is one humongous--"

"Friends!  Why are you doing the hanging out in this dark room?"

"Aah!  Star, don't you ever knock?"

"Yes, but this room has never been a gathering place for activities such as the hanging out before, so I believed it to be safe to enter without--are you comparing your foogletrops?"

"Foogle-whats?"

"Er, yeah, I guess that's what we're doing...  Don't go 'round thinking we're weird or anything, though, because we're not!  See, I was kicking BB's butt in this game and--"

"Dude, get your facts straight.  I was totally kicking your butt, not the other way around!"

"Well, excuse me, but I was definitely not getting my rear end booted by your scrawny--"

"Friends, please!  I do not require an explanation for the comparing of your foogletrops!  Would you mind terribly if I brought mine out to compare as well?"

"Uh..."

"Er...  Girls typically don't have this sort of thing, Star.  They have... something else."

"But I thought for sure that I had one, too!  Please remain here, friends, while I go look for it.  This will not take long."

"...You don't think she actually has one, do you?"

"Well, I guess she could have one.  I mean, it's not like we're the only ones with--"

"It is found!  Friends, behold!"

"Wow.  Dude, hers absolutely blows all of ours away!"

"I don't know, I think Robin still has one up on her."

"Ooh, really?  Robin, show me yours!"

"I'd like to, Starfire, but, you see, I already... put it away.  Taking it back out would just be too much trouble."

"That is a shame.  I did want to see how your foogletrop could 'one up on' mine."

"Hehaha!  Robin, pull it out!  Show the lady what you've got!"

"Beast Boy..."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Author's Note: They were comparing action figures.  Really.  Anyway, I hope you liked it, Joan!  All you said was that I had to write something with a not-unhappy ending, so this should make-do!  Deal with it.