Title: Reality Bytes (part of the "Break the Cycle" series)
Rating: PG13 (mature people only please, this is some heavy stuff.)
Disclaimer: The characters in here do not belong to me in any way possible. Cause if they did, well I'd be dating Tawny right now…. But they don't. They belong to Disney (lucky bastard)
READ THE NOTE!!!!
Note:This is going to continue some heavy stuff for a Disney based show. It will have gay themes, suicide, depression, self mutilation and whatever else I throw in there to screw the characters up even more. Please don't take this wrong in any way; this is just my twisted mind at work. Enjoy…
[Journal Entry: May 31, 2004]
Being a role model sucks. Who wants to be responsible for other kids think and do? Sure as hell not me. I'm tired of being so perfect. Tired of everybody thinking my life is just so damn perfect. Well you know what, its not. My life sucks beyond belief. If you took a walk in my shoes you'd see that I carry more pain than anybody could ever think of.
I have fantasies of the whole world just crashing and burning away. That way I wouldn't have to deal with this damn pain. I have a standard that I'm suppose to live up to right? I'm supposed to be what my parents have pictured in their mind, perfect.
Everybody at school thinks I'm weird. They don't know the real me. They only know what the rumor mill tells them. Yeah I spend a lot of time in the counselor's office or the principal's office. That doesn't mean anything other than I have a problem talking to other kids.
Louis and Twitty tell me all the time that I've got them if I ever need someone to talk to but how would they understand what's going on? How do I let them know what's really going on in my head?
But what really is going on in my little world? I'm suicidal and no one seems to notice. I've been cutting myself and no one even bothers to ask why I have dried blood and cuts on my arms. What is wrong with these people? I'm trying to reach out and all they care about is if I do my homework and get home on curfew.
I always thought that sixteen candles on a cake justified a shiny new car, but I'm thinking that my sixteen candles are going to represent an age I didn't live to see. I can't take this anymore. I give up. I quit.
I'm ending this pain and my whole life. I just can't do this. I don't need a reason or an excuse. There's just no reason for me to live anymore. Not when my whole world is constant drama and all I do is cry and cut myself. I'm screwed up, why continue to ruin everyone else's time on earth?
Goodbye cruel world…
So who is this writing this journal entry? Can you figure it out? Think about, maybe post your opinion on the feedback about who it is and then read the next part TBC...