Email: Title: Breaking the Habit (part of the "Break of the Cycle" series)
AN: The title is from Linkin Park's song 'breaking the habit' from the album 'meteroa'
She tossed fitfully in her sleep. Sweat rolled down the sides of her forehead as the nightmare progressed. Ren whimpered in her sleep as fear consumed her. She could feel it running through her veins. As she sat up in the bed she realized that it was still slightly daylight outside.
Tawny lightly touched Ren's arm causing the girl to jump slightly. "Honey, are you ok?"
Still it stunned Ren to hear Tawny speak to her so lovingly. She never would have thought that they would be in this place right now. A while back Ren was lying in a bathroom floor crying and cutting her arms…and look at where they were now.
"Honey….?" Tawny prodded again.
Ren leaned forward and placed one hand on her forehead feeling the warmth. Her mind was reeling with thoughts and images from the nightmare. What had it been about? Oh, yeah, the cutting. She had been wanting to again. It's all she dreamed about. It consumed her every thought. "Yes baby." She managed to whisper out.
"You're dreaming about it again aren't you?" Tawny wrapped her arms around Ren's body and lightly kissed her neck. "I love you baby doll." She gave a soft squeeze to Ren to assure her that Tawny meant what she said.
"It's just so damn hard." Ren threw the covers off of her and stood up. She glanced over at the clock, 7:42 a.m. Why was she up this early on a Sunday morning? Why couldn't she have a nightmare later on into the day?
Tawny sat propped up on her hands watching Ren intently. Her head was tilted to the right as she watched Ren pace about the room. Feeling the eyes watching her, Ren stopped and crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes?" She asked.
Tawny shrugged and shook her head. All the while thinking, damn she is so beautiful. Why didn't I give in sooner?
Ren's mind drifted off as she began to trace the steps that got them to this place today. It seemed like yesterday was the first day Ren admitted her feelings for Tawny. Like it was yesterday that Ren vowed to stop cutting. But it wasn't. It had been over three months. Ren had been cut free for almost four months now. Still the nightmares consumed her.
"What are you thinking about?" Tawny questioned.
Ren started climbing onto the bed and crawling up Tawny. As Tawny was lying back, Ren was crawling on top of her. There she hovered with a sweet smile plastered on her face. "You." was all she said.
She captured Tawny's lips and began to show her love and devotion to the girl beneath her. It was going to be hard to break the habit of cutting. But Ren knew she could do it as long as she had Tawny by her side to fight the battle. She knew everything would be ok now that she had this wonderful girl.
"I love you Tawny Dean." Ren said with misty eyes. "You're my everything. I want to have you in my life forever."
"You will baby. Always." Tawny kissed her once more…
The End guys. I'm putting a close to this fic once and for all. One down….twenty more to go.