Loving Leo
by Catheryne@leopiper.cjb.net

I'm beginning this story where Season 2 left off. Actually a bit later than that too. I wont be touching on Piper meeting THEM. I'm pretty excited abt that too and have no idea abt that. So let's just say somewhere in the not too distant future. Give or take a couple of months after S3 started.

Prue : What! Really? That is so fabulous! What are you talking about? Of course I'm in. Great! Okay. Thanks. I'll see you there. (puts down the phone) I can't believe this!

Piper: (comes into the room) Believe what?

Prue : I've been hired to do this BIG photoshoot with Wanda Fleming.

Piper : Wanda Fleming? THE Wanda Fleming. Whoa.

Prue : But there's a catch. I need you to tell Phoebe—

Phoe : Tell Phoebe what?

Prue : Good. You're both here. I'm gonna be gone for like, a couple of days.

Phoe : Really? Where are you going?

Piper : She has a big photoshoot with Wanda Fleming.

Phoe : What! Oh! I am soo happy for you.

Prue : Thanks. But that means I have to leave you two alone.

Piper: Hey! Don't worry about us. You go.

Phoe : Yeah. We're big girls now.

Prue : Oh I love you guys. (hug) Now I'm gonna go pack.

Leo orbs in.

Leo : Hey, where you off to, Prue? Hello Piper. (kisses her cheek)

Piper : She has a big job.

Leo : I see.

Phoe : Why, Leo? What's wrong?

Leo : Well I was hoping that the three of you will stay together for a while. There's a threat of a demon.

Prue : How do you know that?

Leo : It's just a feeling I have. Decades on this job developed my instincts for trouble.

Prue : I can't stay because of a feeling you have.

Phoe : Yeah, Leo. This is huge for her.

Leo : Well I am just warning.

Piper : (smoothes out his forehead with a hand) Hey lighten up, sweetie. If there's trouble, Prue will come home at once, won't you, Prue?

Prue : I promise.

Leo : All right. I just don't want any of you getting hurt.
Phoe: Yeah, we know that. We don't want to get hurt either.


Piper grimaces at the pain in her back. She flexes her arms.

Phoe : Hey, don't you think it's time to go home? One of these guys can close up for you.

Piper: Nah. I'll stay here.

Phoe : You're killing yourself with all the work. What is it? Problems with Leo again? You in doubt or something?

Piper: Stop it, Pheebs. You know if there's anything in this world that's real, it's Leo and me.

Phoe : (smiling like a satisfied cat) Thought so. If you said you were doubting you and him, I'd have hit you in the head with a chair and yelled at you. After all he's done for you, for us, there's no call for you to doubt him.

Piper: I know, Pheebs. I know. He's been there for me and I love him so much. Maybe I even love him more than I love you and Prue. Wait, that can't be right. I love you and Prue!

Phoe : Hey, chill out. We understand. And you're right. In some level, you love Leo more than us. That's the way these things work. We were all created to have that one soul mate who'd complete us and that one person would be our everything. See? I'm learning so much.

Piper: Oh, Phoebe, I love you! Come here and let me hug you.

Phoe : Okay! (embraces Piper) Hey! What's wrong? Why are you crying?

Piper: Nothing!

Phoe: (pulls away) Piper Haliwell, don't give me that crap. You don't just go crying over nothing. What is it?

Piper: I just miss Leo so much.

Phoe: We saw him this morning!

Piper: I know! But he's been so busy lately!

Phoe: He still finds the time to stop by and check on us. He loves you! (looks at her funny) That's not the real reason, is it? What is it?

Piper: I've just been so depressed lately. Everytime I think about all that he's done for me, I get more depressed.

Phoe : Why? He's dedicated his entire being to loving you. Of doing everything for you.

Piper : (tearing up again) I know! That's the whole point. He's done all that and what have I done? I just tell him I love him and fight with him sometimes and.. and… nothing!

Phoe : This is what it's all about? Piper, this is crazy.

Piper: Is it? Then tell me, Phoebe. What have I done for him that is comparable to what he's done for me? (Phoebe didn't answer) I thought so. No wonder we havent spent that much time together lately. (wipes her eyes) I'm sorry I made such a big deal ok? Go home.

Phoe: Come on with me.

Piper: I'll be there later. Bye.

Phoe: Love you.

Piper : Love you too.

Living room.

Phoebe: Leo! Leo!

Leo orbs in.

Leo : Hey Phoebe. What is it?

Phoe: Where've you been the whole day?

Leo : (taken aback) Watching. Whitelighting. Checking. Guiding. Why?

Phoe: That took you the whole day?

Leo : (rubbing his nape) Well, Pheebs, whitelighting is pretty much a 24hour job.

Phoe: Then why don't you just tell my sister to forget about you because you're a busy man and let her get on with her life?

Leo : What are you talking about, Phoebe? We tried that, remember? It didn't work. And we love each other too much to even consider that again.

Phoe: Is that why you've been staying away from her?

Leo : I've spent the whole day wanting to be with her. Now what is this all about? Sit down and tell me.

Phoe: (seeming to regain her wits) Oh no! I just blew up at you.

Leo : It's all right. Now calm down and tell me what's wrong.

Phoe : Eeeww. You're starting to act like a big brother.

Leo: (grins) Well seeing that I am probably going to be your big brother, I'd better start acting like it. You should get used to it.

Phoe : (eyes narrowing, recalling that Leo knows nothing of their trip to the future) Have you been seeing into the future or something?

Leo : No. But my relationship with Piper is going nowhere but in that direction, don't you think?

Phoe : (muttering) Not when she feels like this.

Leo : Did you say something?

Phoe: Nope.

Leo: Ok. Then what was that all about?

Phoe : What?

Leo : Your little outburst a while ago.

Phoe : Oh, nothing. Just a drama club practice.

Leo : Phoebe…

Phoe : Oh no! That big brother tone of voice again.

Leo : Tell me okay.

And so she did.


Leo walks down the stairs of P3. He didn't want anyone catching sight of him orbing in.

Leo : Hey, Ted. Where's Piper?

Ted : Leo, my man! It's been a long time. I heard you went back to your original job. We miss you here, man.

Leo : Well, I miss you too. I've been coming here for a while now. I haven't seen you til now.

Ted : Yeah, I took a vacation and went to my mom's house. It's great seeing you again, Leo. Piper's at back.

Leo: Thanks, Ted.

Piper was asleep on the couch inside her office. Leo knelt before her and woke her up with a kiss.

Leo : Hey, sleepyhead. You should have gone on home.

Piper: Leo? Hi! (she scrambled for her shades) Why are you here?

Leo : I thought we could spend some quality time together.

Piper : Oh.

Leo : Why are you wearing those indoors at nighttime?

Piper : Umm.. nothing. I just like them.

Leo : Give it over, Piper. (takes the shades) Your eyes are all red and puffy. Have you been crying?

Piper : Uhh… yes?

Leo : You've been doing a lot of that lately.

Piper : Yeah, it's a book I've been reading. Elizabeth Lowell always makes me cry.

Leo : You've been reading that book for a week. That's pretty long.

Piper : Well, no. A couple of days ago it was Dream A Little Dream. You know, Susan Elizabeth Philips.

Leo : And where are there books that make you cry?

Piper : They're not here. I—I left them at home.

Leo : They're at the manor and you're crying here.

Piper : I was remembering.

Leo : Okay. Hey, do you know how much I love you?

Piper: (smiling) Pretty much.

Leo : And do you know why?

Piper : Because I'm pretty?

Leo : Well, more than that. You're generous and you have a warm, loving heart. What I am is all because of you. (stops for a while)

Piper : Hey, what is it? Do you have to go?

Leo : No. I can stay with you. I want to because you are the best human being I know.

Piper : I love you too.

They kiss for a long while. They don't notice a blue light appearing. Piper squeals when she sees the man standing beside them. She was abt to freeze him when Leo spoke.

Leo : Michael! What are you doing here?

Piper : You know this guy?

Leo : Yeah, He's a coworker.

Piper : I see.

Leo : What are you doing here?

Michael : They're been calling and calling and you havent been responding, Leo.

Piper : I thought—

Michael : He was ignoring.

Piper : Oh, Leo…

Leo : Okay, I'm going. Hey, go back to the manor. I'm going back to you tonight.

Piper : What if there's trouble?

Leo : Believe me, I'm going to you tonight. But don't wait up. I may be very late.

Piper : Okay, I love you.

Leo : Love you.

Living Room

Phoe : Hey, honey, how are you?

Piper : Did you wait up for me, Phoebe?

Phoe : Yeah. I was very worried about you.

Piper : Why would you be worried about me? I told you I'm fine.

Phoe : (sighs) Prue called.

Piper : How is she?

Phoe : Having loads of fun, that's how she is. Can you believe her luck? She's shooting super gorgeous men, Pipe. Wish I coulda been there.

Piper : Want to go?

Phoe : What are you talking about?

Piper : I can pay for your air fare.

Phoe : (looks at her funny) You're crazy. Go get some sleep.

Piper : What did I say wrong wrong? You wanted to go. I'm giving you the means to go.

Phoe : And leave you here alone?

Piper : I'm older than you. I think I can manage to be here for a few days alone.

Phoe : Right. As if you hadn't been little Ms. Depressed lately. I don't even think I should go to my classes tomorrow. You might drown yourself in your tears.

Piper : You know, Pheebs, I don't think—

Phoe : Aaawww, honey I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry.

Piper : (sniffs) No, it's okay. I'm just going to my room and lie down.

Phoe : You do that.

Piper : Nite, Pheebs.

Phoe : Nite, Piper.

Piper goes to her room and lies down. After a while, she drifts into sleep. She never notices Leo orbing in. Leo shrugs off his shirt and jeans and lies beside her, drawing her into his arms. He remembers what they told him before he left.

Them : You have to stay with us for a few weeks. By then, he'd be dead and the darklighters would have no choice. They'd leave her alone.

Leo : And what if they still go after her while I'm gone? They want me out because they want her. Now you're playing into their hands by taking me away from her. They will come after me to get to her. But that's what I'm supposed to do. I'm going to protect her.

Them : At least stay until we've told you everything that you should know to protect yourself from them.

Leo : I can't. It's late. I promised Piper that I'm going to her tonight.

Leo's arms tightened around Piper. Whatever happens, they'd have to go through him first before they get to her. Nothing's going to hurt her as long as he lives. It's always been that way. And that's how it will always be.

Piper wakes up in the morning to find him looking at her.

Piper : Hey! Why didn't you wake me up?

Leo : You were sleeping like a baby. I didn't want to disturb you. Want me to fix us some breakfast?

Piper : Yeah, you do that. I need to go to the bathroom.

Leo waited for her in the kitchen. When she didn't come down after breakfast was served, he looked for her upstairs. As he was coming down. He noticed her lying on the couch. He knelt beside her.

Leo : What's wrong?

Piper : I just felt a little faint coming down the stairs.

Leo : You should go to the doctor.

Piper : I will.

Leo : Today?

Piper : Yes, today. It's probably just some virus.

Leo : Hungry?

Piper: (shakes her head) I've lost my taste for food this morning.

Leo : I'll come with you to the hospital.

Phoe : (coming down the stairs) Who's going to the hospital?

Leo : Piper is. She's not feeling well.

Phoe : Really? I'll come with you.

Piper : Don't you have classes today.

Phoe : Yeah, but I can't attend some silly class when my sister is ill.

Leo : It's alright, Phoebe. I'm taking her.

Phoe : Leo—

Piper : You have an exam, don't you? That's why you don't want to go to school.

Phoe : It's just a quiz.

Leo : You shouldn't let yourself get used to missing stuff, Phoebe. Get dressed and go.

Piper : You sound like a brother.

Phoe : (to Leo) See? I told you.

Piper walked into the waiting room.

Piper : Leo! Leo! Where is he? (to the nurse) Have you seen the guy I went in with?

Nurse : I think he may have left. Someone walked up to him and they left together.

Piper : A man.

Nurse : No. A woman. (pauses) Did you just finish with Dr. Jensen? Because I could have sworn it was you whom he went with. Obviously I was mistaken.

Piper : (nervous) Okay, thank you for your help.

She ran outside. The car wasn't there. They must have taken it. She hailed a cab to take her to Phoebe's college. Phoebe was just leaving her class.

Piper : Phoebe!

Phoe : Piper! What are you doing here? Did you need me to go with you to the hospital?

Piper : I already went.

Phoe : Where's Leo? Was he called? And what were you doing in a cab?

Piper (breathless) When I went into the doctor's office he was in the waiting room. He wasn't there when I came back. The nurse said he left with me!

Phoe : What! Come here. (pulls her to an empty classroom) Leo! Leo!

Piper : Leo! Phoebe, it's not working!

A blue light appears and Michael stands there.

Piper : Have you seen Leo?

Michael : He's gone.

Phoe : What do you mean?

Michael : He's with the darklighters. I can't help him. I can't enter their world.

Piper : Then why is he there?

Michael : He was taken by the darklighters.

Piper : Why?

Michael: Every group of beings has a leader. The darklighters are no exemption. But the leader whom they have followed for hundreds of years is dying. Their secrets have not passed on to the next leader. They want him to live longer so all the information can be transferred to the new head.

Piper : They want Leo to heal him? Are they crazy?

Michael: No. They know Leo cannot heal him.

Phoe : Then what do they want.

Michael : Time.

Piper: Then what do they want Leo for?

Michael : They don't want Leo. Not exactly. They need—

Phoe : The witch who can control time.

Phoebe lifted the ornate knocker on the large mansion. She rapped three times and waited. A tall dark man answered.

Piper : I was informed that you were in need of me.

An older man appeared beside the one who answered.

Old man : Are you the Charmed One who controls time?

Piper : I don't control time. I merely stop—

Old man : That's all you know right now. We'll tap into all your powers inside. Come.

Phoe : No.

Old man : And who is this? The one with the visions? I have no need of you.

Piper : Fair is fair. Give us the whitelighter and I'll go with you.

Old man : We got him fair and square. We don't need to give him back. It's refreshing to have the whitelighter with us. He may even keep you in line.

Piper : My services in return for his life.

The door closed in front of them. After a long while, it opened again. Two men held Leo up.

Old man : I trust that this will seal the deal, witch?

Piper : (touching his face) What have you done with him?

Old man : You asked for his life. Here he is. Alive.

Phoe : Barely!

Leo : Why did you bring them here?

Michael : They wanted me to.

Leo : I wanted her far from them!

Old man : Let him go and take the time witch. (nods at Phoebe) It was good doing business with your family.

Leo : Piper, no.

Piper looks at him before the door closes.

Piper : (smiles) I love you.

Leo pounds at the closed door. Michael grips his shoulder.

Michael : You know very well that they can't hear you now. Once inside, it's another world. They only let in sounds and people they want and expect. That won't do you any good.

Leo : (pushes the other whitelighter) You knew that I didn't want her here! Why did you have to bring her?

Phoe : Stop it, Leo! Piper wanted to come here for you. She just wanted you out of there. But I'm not discussing this here. Now let's all go home. Maybe there's something in the BOS that can help us. I dunno. Prue will arrive soon. I left a message in her hotel.

Michael (holds out his hand): You can orb with me, Phoebe. I'm sure Leo has to recover yet.

They all appeared in the attic. Leo started flipping the pages.

Phoe : What exactly are you looking for, Leo?

Leo : I don't know! I just have to get her out of there before they hurt her.

Phoe : From what Michael told us, they won't touch a hair on her forehead. They need her too much.

Leo : He didn't tell you the entire truth. Once they have everything they need from the old head, they'll kill her. That's the way it is, Phoebe.

Phoe : You lied?

Michael : We needed Leo back.

Phoe : Oh! And I let her go there. What if they kill her! I can't believe you would lie. You're a whitelighter!

Michael : I didn't lie to the one to whom this counts. Piper knew what she was doing.

Leo's eyes snapped towards Michael.

Michael : I told her everything.

Leo : And she still went through with it?

Phoe : Ohhh.

Leo : What is it?

Phoe : I can't believe this is happening. I need Prue.

Michael : Why don't we all get some rest? Your sister will probably arrive by tomorrow morning given your frantic message. None of us can do anything at the moment.

Phoe : Do you think I can sleep after what you just told me?

Leo walks downstairs and Phoebe glares at Michael before following. She sees Leo in Piper's room, sitting on the bed. She decides not to bother him.

Leo : I can't believe you still went charging even though you knew you were probably losing. You're so hardheaded, Piper. How do you think I feel now? You've put yourself in a place where I can't even reach you. Dammit, Piper. What am I gonna do?

Hours later, Leo climbed down the stairs to find Phoebe curled up in the couch. He saw a photograph lying on the floor. It was a snapshot of the two of them as little kids. She must be feeling so guilty last night.

The door suddenly burst open. Phoebe was shaken awake.

Phoe : Prue! You're home!

Prue : (embracing Phoebe) What happened? (to Leo) Are you okay? You look like some demons turned you into a punching bag.

Leo : Darklighters, actually.

Phoe : (starting to cry) Piper wasn't—then this Michael—never said anything—the danger—now we can't find—and I'm sure we didn't—but now it is—

Prue: (holding up a hand) I need someone calm. Leo? (seeing his eyes) Not you too! Where's this other whitelighter? I think he'd probably be more detached than the two of you.

Piper : I can't do all that! I told you. All I know is how to stop a room or something.

Old man : And what are we asking of you? We only want you to freeze all time except for that in this room. Just think reverse. It's a matter of control. Much like separating. (gets a glass of water) I will upend this and let go. I want you to try and freeze the glass but not the water.

Piper : I can't do that. (she felt her heart being squeezed and saw that it was the darklighter's doing) Ok! Ok! I'll try.

Old man : You'll more than try. You'll do it. (upending the glass)

The glass breaks. Over and over again they try.

Old man : Do you recall how easy it was when we captured the whitelighter? Think how swift we can dispense of him and your sisters.

Piper held her breath and concentrated on the task at hand. The glass froze and the water spilled. She fell to her knees.

Old man : (smiling) Very well. Now you do as I tell you.

Piper : (gasping) I can't. It takes too much energy.

Old man : As you're told.

He drags Piper to the bed where a shriveled body lay.

Old man : Now stop the universe. The sun must not reach the peak of the thirteenth highest mountain until I tell you that it can. That's when the leader dies and the new one takes over. Do it!

Piper closes her eyes.

Old man : (to a darklighter) Look at the outside world and tell me if it has stopped.

Darlighter : (returning) Nothing moves.

Old man : You are a useful witch. Maybe I'll coach you in turning back time. It is within your powers you know. Think of all the wonderful mayhem we can do together, if we turn back time.

A young darklighter holds his hands above the dying leader's head. He begins to read the secrets contained within. Piper sits down. She'd used up all her energy and can barely move.

Prue, Phoebe and Leo appear from nowhere. Leo's eyes pan the room in search of Piper. He couldn't see her but the darklighter catches sight of them.

Old man : How did you get in here?

Phoe : It was simple. We found a spell that would open all portals under the sun to us.

Prue : I don't believe we've met. I'm the—

Old man : You're the telekinetic one. I know you. What I want to know is how it is that you were not frozen. I made the time witch freeze the outside world.

Piper (leaning against the wall) : You didn't think that I would do what you told me, did you?

Old man : What is the meaning of this? Thiebald checked. The outside world remains frozen!

Piper : The outside world within your sight is small. That's what I froze.

Old man : That means—

New leader : (running to the old man) We have been fooled! The leader has perished hours ago. I read nothing from his mind!

Old man : You useless witch! (with the power in his hand he flings Piper to a far wall)

Prue : You can't do that! (flings the old man with the power in her eyes) Phoebe, keep them away.

Phoe : Do you want me to call on my premonitions to kill them off?

Prue : Kick, bite, scratch and push!

Phoe : Oh, okay!

Leo : (patting Piper's cheek) Hey, wake up. It wasn't that bad, was it? You've been thrown like that before. (his hand glows over Piper's head)

Piper : Leo? Hi! What are you doing here?

Leo : Can you stand up?

Piper : (grimaces) I think so.

Leo : (supports her) Thank you. What you did for me was brave, selfless and wonderful.

Piper : You've done it for me thousands of times.

Leo : Because "I love you" is not enough.

Piper : I feel that way too.

Leo : But I hope this doesn't become the measure of our love though. Saving each other to figure out how much we love each other is not my idea of an eternity with the only woman who completes me.

Piper : Umm. . . do you think we should help them?

Leo : (turns his head to look at Prue and Phoebe) They seem to be handling themselves well enough. They're all running away. (his eyes narrow) They've opened a portal to the other world. I should close it so they would have a hard time coming back.

Michael orbs in.

Michael : I've been told that you needed another guy for a "sealing."

Leo : Yes.

Piper catches sight of a darklighter from the corner of her eye. He had a familiar looking arrow on a bow trained straight at Leo. It happened in only a couple of seconds. She tried to freeze him but her powers were too weak yet. The darklighter let the tight string go and the arrow was heading straight at Leo. Having no other choice, she gathered all her strength and pushed Leo away.

Leo : Piper, what is it?

Prue and Phoebe run towards them.

Phoebe : They all ran away. (sees Piper clutching at her shoulder) Honey, what is it?

Prue : Are you hurt?

Piper : (looks at Leo) Nothing. Just a scratch. Seal the portal now and you can patch me up later ok?

Leo looks unwilling to leave her.

Michael : You know what we're supposed to do, Leo. Seal this up before they all come back.

The whitelighters walk over to the dark swirling hole and hold their hands over it, making an invisible plug.

Prue : Do you need to lie down?

Piper : Yes. (sits on the floor and lies her head on Prue's lap)

Phoe : Let us see it.

Piper takes her hand off and they see a deep wound. Phoebe's eyes fly to Piper's.

Phoe : Where is it? (sees the arrow in Piper's hand and starts to tear up) Dammit, Piper. You've already done what you wanted. You saved him. Why did you have to do a repeat act that would cost this!?

Prue : I don't understand this. What is it? Oh my—It's the poison, isn't it?

Piper : Hey, guys, don't worry. It's made for whitelighters, right? Maybe it won't affect a mortal.

Phoe : Highly unlikely! It kills an immortal in a few hours. How long do you think it would take to kill a mortal, Piper?

Piper : Well, we'll find out, won't we?

Prue : Shhh. We'll have Leo fix you up and then we're going home.

Piper : I can't believe he won't even know.

Phoe : That you love him? He knows. You've told him often enough. And now this!

Piper : Not that.

Prue : Anything you want him told, you tell him, Piper! Because you're going to be awake long enough to let Leo heal you.

Piper : (closes her eyes) I'm sorry, Prue. I can't. (whispers) I love you, guys. Leo. . .

Prue looks at Piper, not believing what just happened. Phoebe starts crying loudly. Prue just holds Piper's hand and looks away.

Prue : (extends her other arm to Phoebe) Come here, Pheebs. Don't cry so loudly. Leo may hear you. You know he has to finish his job first.

Phoebe buries her head in her sister's shoulder and relaxes somewhat. She stops sobbing.

Leo walks towards them.

Leo : You ready to heal, sweetheart? (sees Phoebe's red-rimmed eyes) Phoebe, what is it? (runs) Piper!

Prue : She's gone.

Leo's hands start to emit a yellow light.

Michael : (from behind Leo) You know your limitations, Leo.

Leo covers his face with his hands.

Leo : I cannot heal the dead.

Michael : I'm sorry. (orbs out)

Leo : (touching Piper's face) What was it?

Phoe : (handing him the arrow) It seems that it affects mortals within a few minutes. Quite a way to find out, isn't it?

Leo : (taking the arrow from Phoebe) That's why she pushed me away. That was meant for me.

Michael orbs in again.

Michael : We must not lose time. Heal her, Leo.

Leo : What?

Michael : Just do it.

Leo's hands tremble as they begin the magic he works. A few seconds later, Piper sat up.

Prue : How—

Phoe : Piper! You're okay!

Piper : (embraces Leo) I thought I'd never see you again. (kisses him)

Leo : (at Michael) How? Did they let me break the rules again?

Michael : No rules were broken.

Leo : But she was dead.

Michael : The rules say that you cannot heal a mortal with no life left in him/her.

Prue : What's the difference?

Piper : Well, that's what I didn't want to tell Leo a while ago, because I thought it didn't matter and that it'd hurt him more.

Leo : What?

Piper : Well, you did vanish when I was going to tell you.

Phoe : Oooooohhhhhhh!

Prue and Leo looks at her askance.

Piper : There IS a reason why I've been so depressed and sleepy lately . . .

Living room

Piper : Where's Leo? He's taking long.

Prue : Obviously. I don't even think he could find what you're craving for. Why couldn't you crave normal stuff he could pick up at the grocery store?

Phoe : I still can't believe you didn't tell me, your own sister!

Prue : And you didn't call me!

Piper : Hey! When was I supposed to tell you? Should I have said "Leo's been taken and by the way you're going to be aunts?" Or should I just have yelled, "Kick that darklighter's ass, Pheebs, so we can tell the baby I'm carrying right now what you did when she grows up?"

Phoe : Yea, yea..

Leo orbs in.

Leo : (handing Piper the green mangoes and a jar of smelly sauce) Have they been upsetting you, Piper?

Piper : Yeah… Nooo… Hey, thanks!

Prue : You found green mangoes?

Phoe : Did you have to go far?

Leo : It wasn't any problem. I just had to orb into a Philippine wet market.

Phoe : Doesn't that count as personal gain?

Piper : Hey, stop harassing my Leo.

Leo : It would if I were a witch. Lucky you, I'm an angel. (goes into the kitchen and back) Want me to pare one for you, sweetheart?