Title: The Talk

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG

Summary: Obi-Wan must give ten year old Anakin "the talk".

Note: A silly little piece that came to me one night!

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi sighed, contented, as he stretched out upon the couch. It had been a long time since he and his padawan last experienced a restful lull between missions and training, and he found it to be quite nice. There were no meetings to attend, no reports to be written, no briefings to be reviewed. Anakin was in his room, completing various assignments for his temple classes; and the night was quiet. It was nice to be able to relax. Quite nice indeed. Obi-Wan smiled to himself. Reaching over for the remote control, he flicked on the holovision, settling comfortably to watch a program that he had enjoyed in his youth.

He had been watching for some time, and was just about to doze off when he sensed Anakin approaching.


Obi-Wan opened his eyes to see Anakin standing nearby, a datapad in one hand, an expression of confusion upon his face.

"Yes, padawan?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course." Obi-Wan turned off the holovision and sat up, expecting that Anakin needed help with an assignment, particularly history, which Anakin was not so fond of.

"What's sex?"

Obi-Wan choked.

"Master? Master? Are you okay?" Anakin rushed forward anxiously, watching his master engage in a rather vigorous coughing fit.

Of all the questions, this was the last Obi-Wan had expected. He knew that one day Anakin might ask but he had not assumed that the day would arrive so soon. He had even hoped that Anakin might learn from his temple classes and that he might be spared from ever talking about it. But that was not the case.

Oh why him?

Perhaps Master Windu would call upon them now, requesting his presence for some sort of meeting. Perhaps an alarm would go off. Perhaps he would all of a sudden become violently ill. Perhaps---

He had to get a grip. He was a grown man, a Jedi knight, a master!

"Should I get the healers?" Anakin asked, looking worried.

"No, no. Er---Ani, perhaps you'd better sit down," he finally said, his voice slightly higher than usual.

Anakin sat, looking rather concerned for his Master.

Obi-Wan began to take deep breaths. Oh why him? Why? He could almost see the amused expression that his former Master would be wearing if he could see him now. In fact, he was sure that somewhere within the Force, his Master was laughing.

He could do this. He could.

Obi-Wan straightened, clearing his throat.

"Anakin. You see. When---when---when a man and a woman love each other very much…"

Obi-Wan proceeded to explain the process as quickly as he could, using the most biological terms possible.

Anakin's eyes began to grow wider and wider, his eyebrows nearly touching the tip of his hairline.

"Do you understand, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked, his face burning.

Anakin nodded solemnly, looking back down at his datapad.


It was over.

Obi-Wan sighed inwardly with relief, his face beginning to cool.

Perhaps it hadn't been as bad as he had made it out to be.

"Um, Master?"

"Yes padawan?"

"So, for this form…do I check off 'F' or 'M'?"