Author's Notes: Hey guys, I'm finally back! And to celebrate my return to regular fanfiction posting, and reading, I have written this completely nuts and insane fic that really doesn't have much of a point in the end anyway. So…about this fic. Well, I'm really into insane, random humor (if you haven't guessed by now) and sometimes, inspiration does as inspiration will do, and hits me at the most random moments. But usually I can control it. So, midway through a pack of Spearmint Skittles, I got an idea. A very humorous idea. Which is probably because I was eating spearmint (I get inspiration from mints, which is actually rather odd. Let's just leave it at that nearly every time I have spearmint I come up with a weird idea for a humor fic, which usually turns out pretty well.) at the time. Every true Teen Titans fan has watched or heard a lot about the episode Nevermore. You know, mirrors, multiple personalities, Raven, etcetera, etcetera. This has long been my favorite episode of Teen Titans. But I got to thinking, man, Raven is practically schizophrenic. All those multiple emotions in the form of people running around in her head and whatnot. So I thought, hey, why not write a fic about something like that? And then I thought, wait a minute. If she has all of those little people, who's to say that the others don't as well? So…here is a fic about an ordinary day for the Teen Titans. And an inside peek at what goes on in those strange little heads of theirs. Enjoy! (Review, please) Oh, and if you've been following my other story "Payback" the last chapter was just posted, so go check it out!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, Terra would not exist, Cyborg would have a girlfriend, Robin wouldn't be so obsessive, Slade wouldn't act like a pedophile, Gizmo would know some good insults, and Raven and Beast Boy would have multiple episodes devoted to their relationship. With a few dedicated to Robin and Starfire, of course.

Quote of the Chapter: Beast Boy – Uh, I know where Robin picked up that heat ray, but where did he learn that little glowy hurty trick?

Schizophrenia – Part 1
By Mint Dragon

Raven yawned, stretching. Another morning, another day, and probably another psychotic villain to go along with it. Great.

She walked over to her closet and opened the door. And another internal battle began.

Within Raven's mindscape, her emotions battled for control. Things as usual, really.

"I said," exclaimed a green-clad form of Raven, "that we should wear fatigues and combat boots!"

"You always want to wear that, " replied a grinning, pink-cloaked Raven, "today, we should wear pink!"

"Why do you care what we wear? It's pointless. We're going to die anyway." said a melancholy, forlorn voice, coming from a girl in a black hood and cloak.

"Maybe Morbid is right," whimpered another Raven, sniffling. "What if they don't notice us? What if they don't like what we wear?"

"Silence, fools! It matters not what we wear, only that we destroy! Destroy! Ha ha ha!" laughed the red, four-eyed representation of Raven's anger.

"Rage is right, you know," muttered Morbid. "People won't care what we wear if they're all dead."

"That's horrible!" gasped the pink Raven. "We should wear something happy and cheerful today!"

"Shut up!" screamed another Raven, dressed in a light grass green. "I represent practicality, and I suppose that I'm the one that has to tell you that WE ONLY OWN ONE TYPE OF CLOTHING! OUR OUTFIRTS ARE ALL EXACTLY THE SAME!"

There was silence, and then the happy one shrugged. "Okay. But I think that we need to go shopping."

There was a general consensus on that, and the issue was laid to rest. Which is good, because otherwise we wouldn't get anywhere now would we?

The purple-haired girl got dressed and walked out into the living room, where Cyborg was playing a videogame, Starfire was trying to read the newspaper while lying on the floor. Beast Boy and Robin were nowhere in sight, though she could hear Beast Boy's singing in the kitchen. She took in a deep breath to greet them, and…

In the kitchen, Beast Boy was singing along to a Smash Mouth song on the radio while flipping pancakes. He heard Raven's footsteps as she entered the living room next door, and her deep breath. And an internal conflict arose, as it did every morning.

Inside Beast Boy's small, peanut-sized mind, his emotions struggled against one another.

"Dude, we should go up to her and just say hi!" shouted a Beast Boy with a pale blue stripe own the middle of his black spandex suit. In the background, a Beast Boy with a light pink stripe was singing along to the song. One of them with a yellow stripe sighed.

"I know you never listen to me, but we should respect her space, just for once. Amiable, you are far too intrusive."

In the background, the Beast Boy with the light pink stripe kept singing. "'Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play!'"

"You know we never listen to you, right?" asked one with a dark blue stripe, a sarcastic, cutting tone in his voice.

"Oh be quiet, Sarcasm. They never listen to you either," countered the reasonable one. Sarcasm sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, but it's worth a try."

"'It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder,'"

"I think we should leave her alone, and then turn into a fly and sneak into her room to watch her undress," said one with a purple stripe, enthusiastically.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" asked Amiable. The purple one waved his hands vigorously and yelled.

"Hello! Earth to Beast Boy! Raven equals hotness. Naked Raven equals MORE hotness!" flecks of drool fell from his mouth as he yelled.

"Stop that, Lust," Reason snapped, his face red.

"'And all that glitters is go-old,'"

"I think," said one of Beast Boy's emotions wearing a dark green stripe in a rather humble voice, "that we should just leave her alone. I mean, she's never going to like us, she'll probably just blow something up if we bug her. Maybe if we leave her alone, she won't notice us."

"Shy, please. Get a grip on yourself." counseled Reason.

"'Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to-'"

Sarcasm interrupted the singer with a cry of, "Hey! Do us a favor, Oblivious?"


"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!"

"I say we go up to her and grin, like we always do." said Amiable confidently. The rest mumbled, and reluctantly agreed.

Raven sighed as Beast Boy dashed up to her, grinning toothily. He gave her a hearty, "Good morning, Raven!" Inside the girl's head, her emotions bickered over how to respond.

"We should smile and tell him 'Good morning to you, too!'" stated Happy, her pink cloak flowing behind her as she walked in circles around the group.

"Maybe he won't like us. Maybe we shouldn't say anything," Timid mumbled quietly.

"We should rip his head off, and then blow the rest of him to smithereens!" Rage declared, grinning. Morbid sighed and sat down on a nearby rock.

"What's the point?" she asked tonelessly.

"I GIVE UP!" yelled Practical, before she stalked off into the distance. The dark-green cloaked Raven watched as the figure in the grass-green hood walked away.

"Why don't we challenge him to a videogame?" she suggested.

"You're all being far too extreme. We smile slightly, and then walk away, like we always do," a yellow-cloaked, glasses-wearing Raven said, walking to the group.

"Shut up, ya four-eyed freak!" Brave snapped, slightly irritated. Rage turned slowly and blinked, all four of her eyes glowing an ominous dark red from the shadows of her cloak.

"See what you did!" cried Timid, shrinking away. "You made her mad!"

"Would you like to repeat that comment?" Rage asked, a threatening tone in her voice. Brave gulped and backed away a few steps.


"Good. I thought so. For now, we do as Intelligence says. We can rip his head off another day. Any questions? No? Excellent."

Since Raven, all of her, believed strongly in self-preservation, that was definitely the end of that discussion.

Raven gave Beast Boy a small smile, and then walked away to get herself some tea. On the couch, Starfire closed her eyes and wondered where Robin was.

Inside Starfire's very…pink…mindscape, her emotions argued.

"He is probably in his room, trying to discover more about Slade," Starfire's smarter aspect, wearing a yellow version of her usual outfit, stated, adjusting her glasses. One of her counterparts in orange yawned and lay down in the light-pink grass.

"Let us just take a nap for a while. Surely he will be finished by the time he comes out." she suggested. Yet another Starfire in bright green sniffed and turned away.

"Well, I do not understand why Robin would want to use his time to discover more information about Slade. Surely, he is ill. If he was well, he would obviously wish to be with us, instead of in his room by himself." she said haughtily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, Vanity, is Robin alright?" another emotion asked worriedly, decked out in pale blue. "Is Robin ill? Perhaps we should bring him some medicine, or one of those cards with messages of "become healthy" on them?" Smart sighed.

"Do not worry, Caring." she said comfortingly. "Vanity is merely being jealous again. Robin is perfectly fine."

"He is more than fine, he is wonderful! He is smart, and strong, and brave, and compassionate, and-" a Starfire in pink clothing began, floating in the air with hearts in her eyes, before she was cut off by one in red.

"Oh, will you not be silent? Every day you say the same thing, and we are forced to listen to your inane ramblings about Robin. We know already, now will you please slam upwards?" she asked. Intelligence shook her head.

"Anger, your use of the term was incorrect. It is "shut up" not "slam upwards"." she explained. Anger blinked.



"Shut up."

And so another argument ended, as no one wanted to get on Anger's bad side. Though if she had a good side is remains a topic for debate.

Inside Robin's room, he paced back and forth, thinking about what else but Slade. Within his mind, a rather odd scene was taking place.

Inside Robin's one-track mind, things were, well, one-track.

At least a hundred Robins, each with a different hair color, were pacing back and forth in unison, all muttering the same phrase.

"Gotta catch Slade, gotta catch Slade, gotta catch Slade…"

One Robin, with a fuchsia hair color, stopped pacing for a moment and pulled out a photo of Starfire.

"I wonder what she's doing right now…" he wondered out loud. Another Robin with a deep violet hue walked over and smacked him upside the head.

"Affection! Get back to work, now! Gotta catch Slade, gotta catch Slade, gotta catch Slade…"

The fuchsia-colored Robin tucked his photo back into his pocket and resumed pacing, grumbling.

"Stupid Obsession, won't let me even look at a photo of Starfire…Gotta catch Slade, gotta catch Slade, gotta catch Slade…"

Right…well, I guess we'll just leave them to their, uh, pacing…right…

Raven brought her steaming mug over to the couch and sipped the hot tea, letting the herbs relax her overly stressed mind. She looked sideway at her two teammates. Starfire was off in la-la land, or whatever the Tamaraneans called it when they spaced out, and Cyborg was looking rather odd as he stared unblinkingly at the television screen, his fingers flying across the controller.

"Cyborg?" she asked, curious. There was no response. In Cyborg's head, the fact that she was speaking to him barely registered.

In Cyborg's mind, one of his emotions hears Raven's voice.

"Uh, guys?" asked a Cyborg with yellow circuits. The rest of his counterparts were gathered around a small television screen, cheering as one of them played the videogame. "Guys?"

The yellow Cyborg sighed and took in a deep breath.


There was silence for a moment, and then a green circuited Cyborg turned from the crowd and said,

"Man, we're playing videogames. Just shut up awhile."

The gaming resumed, and the yellow Cyborg slumped over in defeat.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I guess…" he trundled over to the crowd, watching with the rest.

Well, that was certainly insightful.

Raven blinked a moment, and when no response came from her cybernetic teammate, she sighed and sat back.

"Whatever," she muttered, drinking her tea.

And so, the morning came to a close for the Titans. Let's see what happens to them in the afternoon, shall we? Heh heh heh…

Well, that was part one. In case you were wondering, there will be three parts, one for morning, one for afternoon, and one for night. I hope you liked it, but if you didn't, remember, no one is forcing you to read this. Well, actually, I was forced to read a fanfic once that made my eyes burn and scarred my mind, so that may not be true. But hopefully you weren't stupid enough to get roped into reading a fanfic of someone else's choosing. Especially if that person has a truly evil, sick, twisted, and warped mind. Well, if you were forced to read this, remember, it could always be worse. Trust me. So, until next time, see ya 'round!

(Review Please)

-Mint Dragon

P.S. – If you are an avid or mild supporter of the Raven/Beast Boy coupling, go check out Sage of Story's unbelievably good angst fic, Bring Me To Life. Also, check out the site listed as her homepage, Raven and Beast Boy 'Shippers United, of which I am proud to be a member.