Room For Rent II

Disclaimer: not mine...

Warnings: BxR, YxY, MxM, etc., lack of plot, stupidness...

Rating: PG-13

Oh, and... an announcement. For this chapter, at least, I have decided to explain at the end of the chappy some of the jokes that nobody really understands... mou.

Chapter One

"Taikutsu na yoru ni taikutsu na asa wo matsu koto wa naino sa ashita wo tobikousu hanetsuki de SHUUZU de isoge hayaku!"

"...?"

"I like this song!" Bakura yelled in an attempt to justify his singing of random Odorobou Jing songs.

"Right... and why'd I agree to go out with you again?"

"Because you find me irresistible!" Bakura proclaimed.

"Oh. Right."

The two of them were sitting on Ryou's front porch swing, enjoying the lovely May afternoon. "Saa... I really need to be studying right now..." Ryou murmured, but didn't have the will to pull himself from his comfy spot in Bakura's arms. "...If I don't ace my finals, I'll get baaaaaaaad grades."

"All right, Ryou," Bakura said, sitting up. "I'll take your math finals and you can take my literature finals. We look so much alike that no one would know the difference!"

"...but that'd be cheating, 'Kura..."

"So? Then we'd both get good grades! The world would be a happier place!"

Ryou looked up at Bakura. "No."

"Aww, why not? You know I'm not good in language!" Bakura whined, giving his best impression of 'The Sad Ryou Face That Can Turn Anyone Into a Quivering Puddle of Goo'.

Ryou blinked. "It's not working, Bakura."



"Aww, quit it already! I said I wasn't going to and I'm not!" Ryou huffed, going into his PMS mode easily.

"Well then... will you at least help me study?" Bakura asked pleadingly.

Ryou sighed. "Of course I will."

"...and will you tell me all the answers?"

"NO!"

Bakura whimpered.

"Will you two keep it down out there?!" neighbor-man yelled from his kitchen, where he was washing dishes while wearing a flowery pink apron. "If you're going to go at it, at least do it inside!"

Bakura glared in the general direction of said annoying fruity-yet- married to a woman neighbor. "He was mean to us at Christmas, too... grrrrrr." Bakura bared his pointy teeth.

"Calm down, Bakura. Don't attack the poor silly man," Ryou advised, wrapping his arms around Bakura's stomach. (We worship Bakura's abs!).

Bakura gasped, turning to look at Ryou. "Yay! Ryou's being affectionate!" Bakura grinned.

"Bakura."

"What?"

"SPINAAAAAAAAAAACH!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Bakura fell onto the porch in his haste to get away from the scary, spinach-obsessed Ryou. "Eek!" he squeaked, before struggling to his feet and running into the driveway. "Ha ha ha, you can't get me—" he heard a roar behind him, and turned to see a car going at sixty miles an hour, heading straight for him. "—Now..." He jumped to the side, landing face first in the grass as the car screeched to a halt beside him.

He glared as the car door opened and out stepped... a man (Dun Dun DUN!). A man named... something or other that the author can't remember at the moment. --;; Ahem. Ryou rushed over to check on Bakura.

"Bakura, Bakura, are you O.K.?!"

"I'm fine, Ry—" Bakura began, but was halted when aforementioned man exclaimed.

"Ryou!" Ryou turned to look up at the man. "Ryou, my son!" The man ran in slow-motion to meet Ryou in the midst of pretty wildflowers.

"You're not Otogi pretending to be my father, are you?" Ryou asked, staring at the strange man who had just hugged him.

"What's an O-to-gi?"

"A stupid fruity man!"

"Waaaaaaaaah!" Otogi cried from offstage.

"There, there," Honda whispered, patting Otogi's back and glaring at Bakura.

"What? It was in the script," Bakura said, crossing his arms over his chest.

The man coughed. "As you can tell, I am not this O-to-gi. I am Ryou's fashah!"

"What are you doing here, then?" Ryou asked.

"Well, I finally found my way back home."

"You were wandering around the Sahara for five years. How can you suddenly just stumble across an airport or something?"

Ryou's father glanced around, before leaning in closer to the other two. "PLOTHOLES!" he yelled.

"AHH, I'M GOING DEAF!" Bakura yelled at the top of his lungs, clutching his ears and dancing around the yard.

"By the way, Ryou... who is that strange man? Have I seen him on America's Most Wanted before?"

Ryou sweat-dropped. "That's Bakura. He's a mental patient."

"Oh. Well, what's he doing here?"

"Erm... hold on; I'll ask him," Ryou said quickly, before turning to the still-dancing Bakura. He grasped Bakura's elbow, yanking him to a stop. "Bakura!" he hissed.

"Eh? What's wrong, Ryou?"

"Why are you here?"

"Because I rented out your guest room," Bakura answered. "...even though I rarely sleep there."

Ryou poked Bakura angrily. "Yeah right. So, what do I tell my father?"

"...how should I know? He's your relative."

"Well, err... Dad doesn't know that I'm gay."

"Wow," Bakura muttered, staring at the sky and whistling. "That might be a problem. Ask him what his political standing is."

"Daddy, what's your political position?" Ryou asked.

"Upright, of course!"

Ryou blinked. "Are you a conservative or a liberal?"

"Umm... what are those, ways of putting cream cheese on bagels?"

"AAAAARGH!" Ryou yelled, stomping off and plopping down on the grass.

"Aww, Ryou-chan," Bakura murmured, stroking Ryou's hair gently. "How about I help you out, koi?"

"Don't do anything stupid..." Ryou muttered, sniffing.

"Ha ha! Me, the Great, Magnificent, Sexy, Humble Bakura? I think not," he said grandly as he walked over to Ryou's father.

"Hello, Bakura the mental patient. Did you take your medication today?"

Bakura took a moment to glare at Ryou before turning back to the man. "Ahem. I will choose to ignore that comment. Now," Bakura began, clearing his throat, "If your son was involved in a relationship with another male, would you be upset?"

"My son Ryou is not gay! How dare you insinuate that my little Ryou- chan is gay?!" the man asked accusingly. "Oh, wait. That explains it, you're mental..."

Bakura sighed, walking back over to Ryou and sitting beside him. "Ryou-chan?"

"Yesh?"

"I hope you don't desperately want your father's approval or anything..." Bakura muttered. "Because if you do, our relationship is screwed."

Ryou sighed. "Hmm... listen, Bakura..."

"Ryou-chan?" he asked, eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Don't start crying, Bakura. I'm just going to try and find a way to convince my father that being gay isn't a bad thing... but until then, you're not going to be able to live here."

"W-why?" Bakura asked, bottom lip trembling. "There's room, isn't there?"

"Yes, but... I don't trust you to stay off of me while father is around. I know you, Bakura. You're constantly trying to be affectionate! You even try to make me sit in your lap during breakfast!"

"So! Are you saying you don't like it when I'm affectionate?!"

"Ba-ku-ra..." Ryou said, exasperated. "Don't put words in my mouth."

"Then what can I put in your mouth?" Bakura asked innocently.

Ryou glared at him. "You just can't stay here, O.K. Give me a month at the most—and if I can't get him to understand by then, I'll let you move back in regardless. Deal?" He held his hand out to Bakura.

Bakura reluctantly shook Ryou's hand. "But I... I don't want to leave you, Ryou!" He said, pulling Ryou into a tight hug.

Ryou returned the hug, hands resting on Bakura's back. "I know, Baku- chan... but we'll be together again soon, ne?"

"I guess so... but I'll miss you..." Bakura said, lips set in a pout.

The two stood, looking at each other. "Come on, Bakura. I bet Mariku and Malik will let you stay with them..."

"The sex fiends? I don't wanna stay with them..." Bakura whined.

"Well it's either them or Otogi," Ryou reminded.

"...I guess I'll stay with Mariku and Malik, then..."

"WHY DOES NO ONE LOVE MEEEEEEE?!" Otogi yelled, sobbing.

"Hey, Ryou? What was all that yelling and sobbing just now?" his father asked.

Ryou blanched. "Come inside, Dad. Staying out here isn't good for your sun poisoning..." He pushed the man inside the house, then turned back to Bakura, fingers still twined around the door handle. "Ja ne, Bakura... daisuki yo!"

"...daisuki yo," Bakura said, glumly, waving until Ryou went back inside, shutting the door behind him.


And thus the first chapter has ended! Now I shall explain the weird jokes that only I would understand!

Err... not really a joke. But those are the first two lines to the song 'Shout It Loud' (the song I'm currently obsessed with) by Scudelia Electro... it's the opening theme to Odorobou Jing (AKA King of Bandit Jing)

Ahem. Similar to the 'AJ, AJ, ARE YOU OK?' from Potholes. In 8th grade, I had a first aid/health class. There were dummies in the class (plastic dummies, although we had carbon-based ones too...) that we performed the Heimlich, CPR, and stuff on. The instructor of the class would always beat on their chest and go, "AJ, AJ, ARE YOU OK?"... and now everyone who had that class laughs muchly about it.

6-03-04