Disclaimer: We own nada... As we have said before, if you don't believe us we will sic one of Tolkien's wargs on you!

Uruviel: Hey...Uh I'm sorry if I'm not as random as before...

Nienna: WHY NOT?!

Uruviel: I...Am....to....concentrated....on....my...other...story...but...my...stupid...computer...wont...uploa d....Nienna: Wow...that's a BIG problem...



Nienna: o.O


Uruviel: With a fork?

Nadi: Maybe...

Uruviel: Meep!

Nienna: -.- stop your nancing and pancing please and Nadi stop screaming and shouting I'm trying to write the story here... -.-


Nienna: I'm the almighty author of randomness and freaky plots in this story so I have the right to be in it!

Uruviel: Wow...you two really freak me out...

Nienna&Nadi: [sarcastically] Really? We haven't noticed! -.-



How the heck did we end up HERE?

Chapter 4: The Attack of the Clones

All the elves glared/scowled at her even Legolas. She smiled sweetly and everyone went back to his or her food. Legolas helped her up and brought her to a room.

Jessie watched as the two elves went away and turned to... "FRODO!" She screamed and cuddled Frodo. Frodo returned the hug. Then Merry lunged on Frodo then they started boxing. Then, Sam, lunged on Merry. Then Pippin, for no reason lunged on Sam. After the elves broke them up, the hobbits were sent to different corners of the hall. Jessie kept on going around to the three hobbits cuddling them. The elves made Sam do all the gardening.

When Nadi and Legolas reached the room, he pushed her to the bed. And sat beside her. Then he brushed a few strands of hair from her face. Nadi started to blush. Then Nienna went flying by... literally... "What the...?" Legolas and Nadi said together. Then Legolas kissed Nadi... Then Uruviel went walking by playing a violin... that did it. "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING AUTHORESSES HERE?!" Nadi shouted. Legolas pulled her down and kissed her again. "I need you Nadi for my life to be complete." Legolas whispered in Nadi's ear. He licked the delicate part of her ear. She shuddered slightly then...

Finally the hobbits were out of the hall. By then Jessie made a daily schedule. The four hobbits were huddled together[notice Sam still is gardening] "Okay at breakfast, I will spend with Merry" Jessie announced Merry smiled happily. "2nd breakfast, with Pippin" Pippin was grinning ear to ear. "And Elevensies, with Frodo" Frodo smiled in triumph. "And the 'cycle' goes on." Jessie said lastly.

"Legolas..." Nadi said "Hmm?" Legolas asked as he paused from kissing her. [Nadi: URUVIEL!] [Uruviel: Uh oh...] [Nadi: Finally, you did something right] [Uruviel: phew...] [Nadi: Now I shall not haunt your dreams!] [Uruviel: YOU WERE DOING THAT?!] [Nadi: No...it was Haldir!] [Uruviel: whatever...I mean OFW...so what do you want to happen next?] [Nadi: I dunno...you're the author.] [Uruviel: can Will Turner come?] [Nadi: Uh...okay... it would work too if you killed Elizabitch...he he] [Uruviel: I prefer Will. And anyway, Nienna will do that.] [Nadi: Okay.] [Nienna: So Uruviel what do you think about your new hair style?] [Uruviel: uh...do you know how to braid?] [Nienna: Duh!] [Uruviel: So you don't...] [Nienna: I DO!] [Uruviel: oh... OK...]

"OK do you think you're going to fa-"Nadi asked but a blinding light shone and a figure, no wait three figures stood before them "Something tells me we're not home..." a voice said then the light went out and Will Turner, Jack Sparrow [Captain Jack Sparrow: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!] [Nienna: Fine...] Captain Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann was there "Oooo... Look it's the bitch from hell..." Nadi said "Excuse me?" Elizabitch asked "Oh... nothing" Nadi replied and Legolas and Jack [Captain Jack: CAPTAIN JACK! CAPTAIN!] Captain Jack smirked "Where are we?" Will asked sword drawn "Will don't do anything stupid..." Jack and the bitch said but Will didn't put down his sword "Well judging by the looks of these luvbugs and 'er sense o humor they're a really, really nice couple" Jack [Will, Jack and Elizabitch: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!] [Nienna: FINE PEOPLE!] Captain Jack said in a-matter-of-factly voice and Nadi and Legolas smirked then Will put down his sword then a monkey stormed into the room and Jessie and the hobbits were following "JACK!" Jessie screamed "Aye?" CAPTAIN Jack asked "No not you Captain Jack, we named the monkey Jack" Jessie said "Rings a bell..." Captain Jack muttered "Hey look it's Captain Jack Sparrow! And Will! And- OMG!" Jessie gasped when she saw Elizabitch and she got a knife then threw it at her then it hit her and she vanished in a puff of yellow smoke "YAY!" Nadi and Jessie screamed then appeared

Everyone else in the room: o.O

Will started to cry "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ELIZABETH!" "Don't worry she was a bitch anyway..." Captain Jack, Nadi and Jessie said and Will sniffed then "Who are you?" Pippin asked Captain Jack "Why, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow..." he replied "Wow... rings a bell..." Jessie muttered then her eyes grew wide "CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW??!! THE ONE AND ONLY??!!" Jessie asked "Aye, savvy?" Captain Jack winked "WOOT" Jessie screamed then the French guy appeared again then pointed at Jessie and in a puff of purple smoke she became taller, and piratety but still kept the hair color and eye color then the French guy vanished and the hobbits gasped and they cried, "Cool!" Jessie shouted then everyone just stared at her, even the crying hobbits. Then "ELIZABITCH IS GONE!WOHOOO!" Nadi shouted then she noticed Will and Legolas were shouting a each other. "SHE IS MINE!" Legolas shouted "NO!SHE IS MINE!" Will shouted "NO!I SAW HER FIRST!" Legolas shouted. Nadi went between them. They became quiet. "Schedule peeps..." Nadi said then after they thought for a few moments "SHE'S MINE 24/7!" Will shouted "NO I SAW HER FIRST! SHE'S MINE!" Legolas said and they continued and Nadi just sighed, they didn't notice though Jessie telling Captain Jack [Jack: You can call me Jack now...] [Nienna: MAKE UP YOUR BLOODY MIND!] Jack and the hobbits the time she was running from Legolas "This story's even better than the time they made me their chief..." Jack mumbled. Then Jessie stopped then the 5 looked at poor Nadi then Jessie stood up and got Nadi's arm then Will and Legolas got her other arm then Jack got her other arm then pulled then the hobbits got her foot, [Nienna: little did the Will and Legolas know that Shire-folk had amazing strength while in fury...] [Uruviel: o.O] then they all tugged then Nadi got ripped in half then the two ripped parts made other halves and she became two! "YAY!" Will and Legolas screamed then they got their own Nadi's "Wait we cannot have two Nadi's running about! We must put her in the one-o-mater!" Jessie screamed "Why couldn't we just rip Jessie into 4?" Frodo asked Merry and Pippin and Jack

Little did they know the whole Rivendell was listening outside their door and Aragorn asked himself "Why couldn't I have done that with Elladan and Elrohir?" and the elves nodded then Jessie went out and the elves and Aragorn went to different places acting natural and Jessie, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Jack, Nadi 1, Nadi 2, Will and Legolas were looking at them then Aragorn saw Legolas and Will and Nadi 1 and Nadi 2 then screamed "IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE CLONES!!!" and he and the elves ran away. Nadi 1 and Nadi 2 and Will and Legolas stared at each other. "I understand Nadi 1 and Nadi 2 but you and me?" Will said "Yes. For once I agree with you." Legolas said then suddenly thing 1 and chocolate thunda[thing 2] appeared and joined them.

Everyone: o.O

"HEY YOU'RE FROM THE CAT IN THE HAT!" Jessie Nadi 1 and Nadi 2 screamed. Then Will grabbed Nadi 2 and kissed her. Then Legolas did the same. Then Jessie got Jack and kissed him. Soon she was kissing the hobbits. [Uruviel&Nienna: WTF? We didn't write that!] [Nadi&Jessie: ehehehe...] [Uruviel&Nienna: BAD MUSES BAD!!! YOU CAN WRITE BUT NO MORE KISSING!] Then they ate pie...then they went to the one-o-mater then made Nadi whole again. "WHY?!WHY OH WHY?!" Legolas and Will said sadly. When Nadi came out the things disappeared. Jessie ran to her and hugged her "You're whole again!" She screamed. Then she saw Will and Legolas crying

Everyone except Legolas and Will even the readers: They can cry? O.O

[Nienna: We own nothing we own nothing we own nothing at all...] [Uruviel: o.? what the...?] [Uruviel: Okay muses...the story is getting pathetic so we'll be taking over now...] [Nadi: NEVER!] [Jessie: NOT EVEN IN YOUR DREAMS!] [Uruviel: FINE!(grabs diskette and turns on laptop.)] [Nadi&Jessie: NOOOOOOOO!!!][Nienna: Damn muses...]

"Stop crying! sheesh...its as if I don't love both of you?" Nadi said as she gave Will and Legolas some tissue. "sob but he will steal you!!!" Legolas said as he pointed an accusing finger at Will. "But Legolas was kissing you already!" Will sobbed as he got a tissue. By then everyone was asleep. "Why is no one here?" Nadi asked. "Hey! Everyone's asleep!" Nadi groaned. "Uh...I guess you have to stay together in your room Legolas..." Nadi said as she headed for her room. Legolas and Will started to run after her the when they reached her she scowled. "What now? If your going to start fighting again...jeez..." Nadi said as she started to trudge to the door. "Does he really have to sleep in mine?" Legolas asked sadly "Yes and besides...you two look alike." Nadi said as she slammed the room to her door. The two groaned. "Look, if we want her to love us, we should work together." Legolas said as he extended a hand to Will. "Fine." Will said as he shook Legolas' hand.

The next day...

Jessie went to the hall. She saw Jack drinking rum. Legolas, Will, Aragorn and Faramir were drinking beer and laughing. Frodo, Pippin and Merry were calling Jessie to sit with them and Will and Legolas were devising a plot to get Nadi to fall for them



Nienna: Oh the Yellow Brickroader song is mine! I NCREATED THE SONG! I was inspired by Michelle Branch

Uruviel: Yeah right...

Nienna: IT'S TRUE!!!

Uruviel: Fine anyway please R/R!