Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: PG

Pairing: Sam/Jack

Archive: Yes

Spoil/Episode insert: Shades of Grey

Notes: Slightly surreal. ...and, wow. Turned the sound up so I could listen to lyrics, and Bush's "Chemicals Between Us" is playing...

Every Single Word

by Ana Lyssie Cotton

"Did they teach you to lie like this?"

He shifted, cuddled her closer.

"To lie with everything including tone of voice, and eyes, and mouth?"

His hand snaked down to brush her skin.

"Don't avoid this."

The hand stilled, then slowly moved away, the arm it was attached to also falling back, flopping on the bed.

He sighed.


It was her turn to try to distract, her own hand reaching out to touch his chest.

"This isn't real, is it."

She sounds sure.

"It is."

He rolled back, sliding his hands over her body again. Gently, reverently.

"But they taught you to lie."

He hates the sound of the tears that are thick in her voice.

"But not to you."

The hands still.


Lips touch her cheek, gentle. Then he dropped his head to her shoulder. A sigh rippled out again.

"I can't do this."

He knows. Has always known.

"It's not a lie, Sam."

But it is. It has to be. Because if this is real, then nothing out there is real.

"Kiss me."

He felt surprised, but did it.

"Jack... I can't keep doing this. I can't keep not knowing if this is real."

The hands are suddenly more insistant, sliding here and there, as if impressing upon the owner exactly how she feels.

"I'm sorry."

Regret on both sides, and he knows this is the last time. Because he can't keep lying.

"Goodbye, Sam."

The words wake him from the dream, make him sit up in his darkened bedroom. She isn't there, of course. She never has been. And she probably won't be.


I want you to remember

Everything I've said

And every single word

Like a hammer held to my head - Bush, 'Chemicals Between Us'