MoonDeity: Ok, this is the VERY last chapter. For real. Really. I apologize, when I wrote out the synopsis for this, I did not realize to make this a good fic, I needed to be thorough. (grins idiotically) My eyes always have been bigger than my stomach, you know.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I do not own the Speedos, loofahs, Juicy Fruit, Girl Scouts, nor do I own the hot-dog girl idea and the Slade pick-up lines. Properties of Kimohono aka Chicgeek and Raven the Sorceress.

Musical Disclaimer: I, MoonDeity, am of no way associated with Billy Idol, Dancing with Myself, Keith Forsey, or Chrysalis Records Inc. and I do not own said tracks/songs/people.

Chapter 7

Robin shoved the last of the beach ware into the trunk of the T-Car. The Titans had spent 45 minutes tracking down, gathering, and packing their beach items. Now they were defiantly ready to head back to Titan's Tower.

The Boy Wonder climbed into the driver's seat and started the car. Glancing around at his friends, he smiled at the state of them. Beastboy and Raven were in the backseat. The Green One was fast asleep and drooling on Raven's shoulder. The Goth let him stay there, and she was gazing out into the night, contemplating the stars. Beside Robin, Starfire sat curled up, fast asleep. Her arms were wrapped around her Gorka Pipes.

Robin looked carefully around, and no one was watching, he rummaged in his swim trunks. After a few seconds of poking and prodding, he produced Slade's pina-colada. Looking around again, he leaned over tentatively and took a sip. Instantly, a goofy grin spread across his face.

"Cool, so this is what a pina-colada tastes like. Wow, I could get hooked on these!"

Robin started the car and pulled out of the parking slot. Very soon, he had gotten onto the highway. Beside him, Starfire sighed in her sleep and mumbled,

"The light bulbs are in the pelican cellar...oh my...squirrels..."

The Boy Wonder shook his head and navigated the car up the winding mountain road. Breathing in the sharp scent of pine, he sighed in thankfulness for having such a wonderful, peaceful home to come home to.

"I am so lucky," he thought.

"I have a great place to come home to, and Cyborg will have fixed the air conditioning. It'll be awesome to get back to the nothing stimulating what so eve---WHAT THE HECK?!?!"

Robin's masked eyes grew very large as he took in Titan's Tower.

"The Tower!!!" ,Robin screamed.

Beastboy and Starfire were jolted out of sleep by Robin's voice. Raven blinked at the Titan's leader, then she nearly jumped out of her seat when she saw the Tower.
The "peaceful" haven of the Titans was turned into a mad house. Loud music boomed out of the windows, trash was everywhere, and the disco lights were turned on. Scantily clad women ran about the property, and hyper individuals were playing with belongings of the Titans.
The four Titans sat stunned as a spiky haired teen landed on the hood of the T-Car, eating something that looked like Beastboy's monkey doll.
Suddenly, the front door of the Tower blew open, and materializing out of the smoke was Cyborg. He was wearing a lamp shade and had two almost-naked women on his shoulders. The women were feeding him pork and beef on skewers.

"Boo-ya! M-mm, thanks Charlene and Monica."

The two girls giggled and straddled Cyborg. Robin, Starfire, Beastboy, and Raven all leapt out of the car at once, their hair and eyes ablaze with anger.

"Cyborg....what is this...?" ,The Titan Leader said through clenched teeth.

Cyborg gulped and pushed the two girls off him. He twiddled his thumbs nervously as he approached his friends.

"Heh heh...hey y'all. Didn't quite expect you back so...soon. Heh heh..."

Raven balled up her fists in fury, black lightening surrounding them. Starfire puffed out her chest and pointed an accusing finger at her guilty friend.

"You...Cyborg...are just a...a...A FORPLIKIN MUBAR RURUNIX!!!"

Beastboy joined Starfire.

"Yeah! And then some!"

The unfortunate half-man half-machine was about to say something, but an obnoxious beeping from behind his friends interrupted him. Slade was leaning on the horn of his car, making a continuous sound. Lifting his elbow up, he smiled at the Titans and draped one arm around Jinx. The psycho was back in his armor, and his army of sluts were dressed in Slade uniforms. His cucumbers bore little "S" badges, and they were armed with their glue bottles. And beside Jinx was...the hot-dog girl. She still had the top of her hot-dog costume, but most of her was covered in white gauze. Her left arm was bandaged and bound in a sling. She smiled a toothy grin at the Titans. "Good evening, Titans," said Slade.

"I trust that you will be mauling each other shortly? Good, very good...I just popped by to show you my new secret weapon, Titans."

He gestured to the hot-dog girl, who was fingering her merchandise.

"I know she will put up an excellent challenge for you. And my armies of hookers and cucumbers will provide even more difficulty in your attempts of stopping me."

Robin was shaking with frustration, tore between lunging at Slade and tearing apart Cyborg. Starfire was chasing a slut who had her Gorka Pipes around the property. And Beastboy was restraining Raven from lunging at Cyborg and possibly disemboweling him. Slade waved at his enemies, and put his car into drive. But before he did, he pointed to Raven.

"By the way, my dear; your mechanical friend gave his little female friends permission to go into your room. I believe you no longer have anymore blue cloaks; so sorry."

Slade pointed to Raven, and then floored the car, driving out of sight. The Goth was shaking, and seemed on the verge of a melt-down. Her pupils were dilated and all around her, random objects were blowing up. Beastboy had to turn into a gorilla to hold her back. But she was really pushed over the edge when a naked female danced by her, wearing her FAVORITE blue cloak. Chest heaving, she turned toward Cyborg, who was cowering behind a rock.

"!! AUGH!!"

Raven let out an ear-shattering scream and broke Beastboy's grip. She let out a bolt of black energy at Cyborg, which he dodged. The attack dissolved the rock he was hiding behind. The half-man half-machine trembled, then screamed when he saw Raven, Robin, and Starfire running after him with blood-lust in their eyes.




Cyborg leapt up and started running. Looking back, he whispered in a feeble voice,

"Yeah...but I got the air conditioning to work..."

Unfortunately, his fellow Titans heard and started to chase him with more fury. They chased him until they were out of sight of poor Beastboy. The Changeling was dizzy from when Raven knocked him off her. Looking around, and not seeing any of his friends, the Green One sighed sadly and moped pathetically on the ground. Suddenly, he brightened up, rummaged in his shorts, and produced his pail of loofahs.

"Aw, loofah friends! YOU would never leave me to chase someone...let's sing the friend's song!"

Beastboy cuddled the pail and wrapped his legs around it, and commenced singing a high-pitched song in his squeaky voice.


The moon and stars must have beheld a strange sight from their posts that night. Gazing over the bay and to Titan's Tower, one could only question the sanity of the creatures on that little island. In one corner of the island, there sat a little green elf, cuddling a pail of loofahs, singing a strangely happy song to them. On another corner, three very angry beings chased a bigger, more metallic one around. And in the center, there were nearly naked females and males on sugar-highs destroying a giant "T".

"Aiyaa," thought the moon as she rubbed her eyes.

"I really have to stop drinking these pina-coladas."

The End.

MoonDeity: Wow, 7 chapters, that is good for me! Kinda a sucky tie-up, but I worked a long time on it. Anyway, I hope you got a few laughs out of this fic, and don't hesitate to review this or e-mail me. I get on my computer everyday, but I don't have AIM or IM or any of that jazz. Thanks for reading.