Note: You should read my other fan fiction(s)!

Stop Stealing My Stuff

Chapter 1

Who Stole It?

One day, Jerry, Ken and Vic are dancing to the Hokey Pokey in Jerry's backyard.

KEN: Ya put yo' right hand in, ya put yo' right hand out--

VANNESS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! runs into backyard NO!!!

JERRY: Sup, homie?

VANNESS: SOMEONE STOLE MY CD PLAYER AFTER SCHOOL! I just left it on my bench with my other stuff and when I came back, it was gone!

VIC: Maybe it was Jerry.

JERRY: Maybe it was Vic.



KEN: Hmm...

JERRY/VIC: (turn heads slowly toward Ken) [slowly] Did you do it?

KEN: Of course not! Why would I steal Vanness's CD player? I prefer listening to music on my computer.

VANNESS: (pouts) Wah...I LOST MY CD PLAYER!!! My life is ruined! I will never get over this traumatizing incident! (falls onto grass and pounds the ground) Wah...


JERRY: Vanness, don't feel bad. I'll buy you a new one. Why don't we go to the store right now?

VANNESS: (still pouting) Okay. (sniffs)

VIC: You know what? I'll help Jerry pay for your CD player!

KEN: I will, too! We'll all go.

VANNESS: Thanks, dudes! You're the best buddies. I owe all of you one, especially since I'm sorta broke after buying dog food for my cat.

VIC: Dog food for your cat?

VANNESS: Yeah, you see, my cat hates tuna and other cat foods. She only eats dog food.

KEN: (blinks)


At the store...

JERRY: (pushing cart full of vegetables) My mom told me to do some grocery shopping while we're out.


KEN: (looking inside magazine) You see what?

VANNESS: The...CD player. (points)

JERRY: Yeah, that's a fair price. We'll buy it.

KEN: (gives cash to Jerry) ...Where's Vic?

VIC: AHHHH!!! Help! Save my life, someone!

FANS: (shrieking) AHHHH!!! OOOH!!! AHHHH!!! EEEEE!!!


VIC: (looks at piles of CDs) [to himself] I feel dizzy. (faints)

FANS: (shriek and attack Vic's unconscious body)


JERRY/KEN/VANNESS: ... (mouths hanging open)

KEN: Why don't we get any attention?

JERRY: Those are only Vic fans. They don't buy the whole band's CDs but only buy Vic's solo albums. We're safe.

VANNESS: Well, is anyone going to call the security? I don't think Vic can handle being pounced and kissed and touched by so many fans--OH GRACIOUS WATERMELONS!

One fan rips off Vic's shirt, making all the other fans sigh and shriek louder.

VIC: (still unconscious)


VIC: (in bed) Vanness!


VIC: I need you to help me write a will. My arms and feet and chest hurt.

VANNESS: ...A will? Sure, I guess... (takes out paper and pen)

VIC: Yes, a will. I will leave all my money with my mom. And tell her that I love her. Then I will leave all my hip-hop CDs with you.

VANNESS: Thanks.

VIC: Then I will leave...

Vic's voice continues on and on as Vanness keeps writing on a piece of paper. When the will is finished...

VIC: I am ready to die now.

VANNESS: WAIT! Don't die before you sign the will!

VIC: (weakly takes pen and signs will) There. Now, I'm done. (goes to sleep and snores loudly)

VANNESS: Tch. He makes such a big deal about dying and wills and all, and then...he goes to sleep. [smiling] (shakes head and walks out of room) Mrs. Zhou? I'm leaving now.


VANNESS: Poor Vic--

FAN: AHHHH!!! It's really you! Vanness!

VANNESS: (looks at fan in horror)