Note: You should read my other fan fiction(s)!
Stop Stealing My Stuff
Who Stole It?
One day, Jerry, Ken and Vic are dancing to the Hokey Pokey in Jerry's backyard.
KEN: Ya put yo' right hand in, ya put yo' right hand out--
VANNESS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! runs into backyard NO!!!
JERRY: Sup, homie?
VANNESS: SOMEONE STOLE MY CD PLAYER AFTER SCHOOL! I just left it on my bench with my other stuff and when I came back, it was gone!
VIC: Maybe it was Jerry.
JERRY: Maybe it was Vic.
JERRY/VIC: (turn heads slowly toward Ken) [slowly] Did you do it?
KEN: Of course not! Why would I steal Vanness's CD player? I prefer listening to music on my computer.
VANNESS: (pouts) Wah...I LOST MY CD PLAYER!!! My life is ruined! I will never get over this traumatizing incident! (falls onto grass and pounds the ground) Wah...
JERRY: Vanness, don't feel bad. I'll buy you a new one. Why don't we go to the store right now?
VANNESS: (still pouting) Okay. (sniffs)
VIC: You know what? I'll help Jerry pay for your CD player!
KEN: I will, too! We'll all go.
VANNESS: Thanks, dudes! You're the best buddies. I owe all of you one, especially since I'm sorta broke after buying dog food for my cat.
VIC: Dog food for your cat?
VANNESS: Yeah, you see, my cat hates tuna and other cat foods. She only eats dog food.
At the store...
JERRY: (pushing cart full of vegetables) My mom told me to do some grocery shopping while we're out.
VANNESS: I SEE IT!
KEN: (looking inside magazine) You see what?
VANNESS: The...CD player. (points)
JERRY: Yeah, that's a fair price. We'll buy it.
KEN: (gives cash to Jerry) ...Where's Vic?
VIC: AHHHH!!! Help! Save my life, someone!
FANS: (shrieking) AHHHH!!! OOOH!!! AHHHH!!! EEEEE!!!
FAN #1: SIGN OUR CDS, VIC!!!
VIC: (looks at piles of CDs) [to himself] I feel dizzy. (faints)
FANS: (shriek and attack Vic's unconscious body)
JERRY/KEN/VANNESS: ... (mouths hanging open)
KEN: Why don't we get any attention?
JERRY: Those are only Vic fans. They don't buy the whole band's CDs but only buy Vic's solo albums. We're safe.
VANNESS: Well, is anyone going to call the security? I don't think Vic can handle being pounced and kissed and touched by so many fans--OH GRACIOUS WATERMELONS!
One fan rips off Vic's shirt, making all the other fans sigh and shriek louder.
VIC: (still unconscious)
VIC: (in bed) Vanness!
VIC: I need you to help me write a will. My arms and feet and chest hurt.
VANNESS: ...A will? Sure, I guess... (takes out paper and pen)
VIC: Yes, a will. I will leave all my money with my mom. And tell her that I love her. Then I will leave all my hip-hop CDs with you.
VIC: Then I will leave...
Vic's voice continues on and on as Vanness keeps writing on a piece of paper. When the will is finished...
VIC: I am ready to die now.
VANNESS: WAIT! Don't die before you sign the will!
VIC: (weakly takes pen and signs will) There. Now, I'm done. (goes to sleep and snores loudly)
VANNESS: Tch. He makes such a big deal about dying and wills and all, and then...he goes to sleep. [smiling] (shakes head and walks out of room) Mrs. Zhou? I'm leaving now.
VANNESS: Poor Vic--
FAN: AHHHH!!! It's really you! Vanness!
VANNESS: (looks at fan in horror)
DUN DUN DUN!!!