Disclaimer: ...
Note: Morbid humor. Apologies on some of the spelling.

Death, Death and more death-but it ends with a boom!

Hermione's pillow was wet with her tears, but the young witch didn't care. She lay, face down, on her bed, shaking alternativly with sobs and fear. Less than two weeks, eight murders and no one-not even Dumbledore-knew what to do. Many of the students at Hogwarts had gone home to their families, but Hermione's parents were visiting America for a while, so she was stuck at Hogwarts. She spent the time in her room, wetting her pillow with her tears.

The first body to be found-exactly two weeks ago, was that of her best friend, Harry Potter. He had been killed, apparently, by a pannah wire, and had been found lying, face up on one of the dinner tables, his eyes open wide, staring blankly at the enchanted cieling. It had cause quite a ruckus. Classes were briefly cancelled and support groups were set up for the stunned and remorseful students (even Malfoy, who in all outward apperiences had dispised Hermione's friend, was seen crying), while Dumbledore and several other teachers he culpret of the heinous crime, without success.

Dumbledore contacted the Dursley's with the news of their nephew's death, but they seemed not to care-they thanked him for telling them that they wouldn't have to pick Harry up at the train station, and that was the end of that.

So, Harry had a funeral at Hogwarts-and that was when the second body was found.

The second victim was Draco Malfoy. The annoying egotist was found in the grave that had been dug for Harry. When the time came for the black casket bearing Harry's lifeless form to be lowered into the ground, Professor McGonagal, who, along with Snape, and Dumbledore, was using magic to lower the coffin, let loose a shattering scream and dropped her wand.

The coffin dropped abruptly, but only for about a foot before Dumbledore and Snape managed to catch it. Snape glared at the transformations teacher, who was staring into the grave with eyes as wide as plates, while the students broke into startled and alarmed chatter.

Slowly, people began gathering around to see what had the proffessor so startled. What they saw made several people sick and Trelawny faint.

Malfoy lay, like Harry, face up, his eyes closed, looking more peaceful than any of the students had ever seen him look before. But his skin was sallow, and pale, and a long kitana sticking out of his chest suggested that this peace he was experiencing was NOT a good thing.

Quickly, several professors rushed the students back to the main hall, while Dumbledore and several others took care of the two bodies they now had on their hands (Harry, in his coffin of course, being the other). Several students were hysterical-Hermione being one of them, though she (unlike Patty, for instance) didn't need to be sedated.

Classes were called off completely, students were instructed to be with a group of people at all times, teachers began playing the part of gaurds in the halls and the effort to find the killer, or killers, was redoubled. Dumbledore checked both bodies, weapons and the area surrounding where the bodies were found both magically and the muggle way-yet he still came up with nothing.

Yet all these precautions didn't stop the murder spree.

Two days after Harry's planned burial, Cho's body was found on the Quidditch field, with a morningstar crushing the upper left half of her head. The blood was already nearly dry and the body cold by the time she was found by several Hufflepuff girls.

This did not go over well with Hogwarts. The Ministry of Magic was quickly owled, and soon many, many trained wizards showed up to look for clues, while an evacuation of the students was organized.

But this still didn't stop the killings.

Only a day after the evacuation annoucement, the other bodies were found in rapid succession.

Ron Weasly was found poisened by digitalis, a look of shock and anger plastered on his face. Crabb had had an autospy preformed on him while he was still alive-the pain in his facial expression was almost tangible. Neville had been sliced into bite-sized pieces and parts of him had been cooked and fed to the house elves, while Goyle had been decapitated ala homemade guilliteen.

The rest of the students ,save a few terrified ones who had no where to go immediatly, left in a hurry, while the teachers and a few Ministry men stayed to search for evidence of the killer.

So, Hermione lay face down on her bed, crying into her pillow. Or was she laughing? Her shoulders shook and tears formed in her eyes, she laughed so hard. Oh she'd gotten them back....

She'd killed Draco, because he was an asshole. Crabb and Goyle got deceased for much the same reason. Cho she killed because Harry loved her. Neville she killed because he was an annoying, incompetent snip who always got in her way. Ron she murdered because Harry liked him better, and Harry was dead because he didn't devote all his time to the Supreme Goddess of the Universe, Hermione Granger, and her cat.

Hermione's hand slid under her pillow and carefully fingered the switchblade that lay there, a malichious grin forming on her face. It didn't matter that the students left-her last victim wasn't a student anyway...

Tonight....tonight....She could barely wait. Tonight Snape would die a horridly painful death, stabbed and fall into a special potion that she cooked up for him, that would dissolve his body away. And then, Hermione would go home, a hysterical girl who had lost all her friends to some homocidal madman.....

Hermione started chuckling lowly. Oh, she couldn't wait! Her blood boiled with the excitement of Snapes death and the corners of her mouth turned even further upward....

She slowly stoop and stashed the switchblade in her robe. She grin remained only a microsecond longer before it was replaced with an expression of severe depression and shock.

Slowly, as if in a dream, she started out of the room and headed down the hall, tears trailing silently down her face.

Hermione got to the end of the hall, and


Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hogsmede and much of England were unexpectedly blown away by a massive explosion that no one-or, almost no one-could have forseen.

Thousands of miles away, a very evil asshole sat in his office, feet propped up on the desk, solumnly regarding a map of the word, while playing with several darts.

"President Bush?" The hesitant voice made the man look up expectantly. "Sir, a nuclear missile has been launched on England, as you ordered......" The young aide hesitated, unsure about what the president had ordered. "The devistation is considerable...."

"Thanks, you can go," The evil man said in his droning drawl that made people want to murder him (not that people wanted to do that for other reasons as well, but his voice was no help).

The aide cautiously backed out of the office. Once he had left, Bush returned his attention to the map on the far wall of the office, a smile of mirth forming on his lips. Without really aiming, he let one of the darts loose at it.

"Ooh," he said, looking see where it had hit. "Peru is going DOWN..."

Don't ask-lets just say I've been depressed and in a bad mood.