Disclaimer:  I don't own anything except the plot

Summary:  Courtney and Jax left Port Charles over 16 years ago, but what happens when a tragic event forces Courtney to come home and face the mess she left behind?

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"

                                                                                                                Semi Sonic

          Courtney Jacks wrapped her black jacket tighter around her petite frame.  The ocean breeze was picking up, causing the red and orange autumn leaves to swirl around the group of mourners.  She saw the Reverend's lips moving, no doubt trying to offer some comfort, but the words of solace were not reaching her.  Her eyes gazed around the burial site at the other onlookers; coworkers and friends were scattered around, each one with the same solemn look. 

            He's gone, her mind repeated over and over again.  Her husband, of almost seventeen years was dead without warning.  He was driving home from work when the accident occurred, the truck driver never saw him coming and by the time he rounded the corner it was to late. In a single instant her life had been altered forever and there was no changing it.

            Courtney felt a strong arm wrap around her shoulders as the casket was being lowered into its final resting place.  She cocked her head to the right and tried to offer her son, Jay, a reassuring smile.  He squeezed her shoulders a little tighter before returning his attention to the Reverend, who was still speaking.  She tried to force herself to focus on the ceremony, but could not bear to watch any longer.

            Jax had been such an integral part of her life for so long and now she was going to have to move on without him.  It hardly seemed fair; especially after all they had been through.  Their decision to leave Port Charles was hard on both of them, but it was a necessary move once he found out about her pregnancy.  He wanted to do anything possible to protect her and their unborn child, which meant leaving behind the only life they ever knew.  So they left and made a nice home for themselves in a quaint Massachusetts suburb that had never heard of the names Jacks, Corinthos, or even Morgan.

            When Jay was born she remembered the shear look of joy that overtook her husband's facial expression and the unbearable pain when he looked into the newborn's steely blue eyes. Yes, those eyes unmistakably belonged to different man; a man that both parents assumed was out of their lives forever. Still in the face of betrayal, Jax stayed strong and true; raising Jay as if he was his own son and never once questioning Courtney.  She knew it hurt him, watching his boy turn into a man that looked so much like her ex husband.

He looked past her betrayal and offered unconditional love for her as well as her son, which was one of the reasons that she stayed in a marriage that made her unhappy.  Sure, she loved Jax, but only for the comfort and security he brought her.  He gave her a stability that she never had before and it would be too difficult to walk away from that situation. So she stayed in order to give her son a solid home base and a respectable father figure.

            Courtney felt tug at her sleeve and felt Jay carefully begin to guide her away from the gravesite, but she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to heading back to the casket to say goodbye to her husband one more time.

            "I'm sorry that I couldn't be what you needed. I'll always appreciate what you did for us.  I love you." She whispered before walking back to join her son.